Oh my gosh, how adorable was this.
So, yes the professional format for a script is centered, but it is a little distracting when coupled with how the text looks on YWS. Perhaps have a word document with the professional format and change this format to make it a little friendlier to read. Just a suggestion.
I think this script is the cutest thing I've read today XD
I mean, part of me says that this has been done before and you add nothing new to it which is true, but it's just a prologue (and I wish you would continue it) like you say, and I want to know these characters. I think this works wonderfully as a prologue goes because I care about both of these characters right off.
That being said, I get the vibe that the character of Roo could go wrong easily. I think she/he? could easily slip into a cliche, unlikeable character being the girlfriend that's not going to be hurt and is closing herself off. Of course, this is just a prologue, so I hope you're taking her in a different direction.
Other than that, I think you should end this on a more final note, so we know how serious Roo is. I think that the ending would have more of an impact if you let the audience know that she hung up. Don't make it wordy though. If this was taking place in Freddie's room instead of Roo's, I would suggest that you end with a dial tone, but it takes place in Roo's, so... Maybe end with her hanging up and turning of the lights?
Just suggestions either way xP
This really grabbed hold of my imagination, and I'm sincerely curious as to where you're planning to take this. I feel like it's perhaps not the most original circumstances, but it's definitely got potential to go to a fairly creative place.
Let me know if you write anymore,
Megs~
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Reviews: 463
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