A/N: 1779 words for The Last Man Standing.
Despite the tense atmosphere in the room I was bored out of my mind. As a high lord it was my duty to attend the yearly council that the emperor had to hold to follow tradition and create the guise of unity in the empire, but I would've rather been in my garden, watching the knights' search. It had been almost two months since I launched the search, and I knew that it could only be a matter of days before they finally located the guardian of the phoenix, and then the phoenix itself. Normally it would have been my first priority to try to take as much power from the other six as possible, but with the legendary phoenix out there I couldn't care less. The other six high lords were not stupid or gullible, yet the patterns of their minds were so obvious after only a few hours of study that I couldn't help but wonder if they had put them up intentionally.
Lord Cressery had - like his forefathers – far too high moral standards, and because he didn't want his children to be exposed to the temptations of the world he had chosen to isolate the whole family to the hold he had far up in the northern mountains. He despised anything that broke his moral code, which was pretty much everything that other people would call normal. Years ago I had found it amusing to try to tempt him to break that moral code, but I had eventually been forced to realise that lord Cressery was about as pliable as a cold piece of glass. Luckily he didn't care much for the sinful world outside his hold, and spent the yearly council peering condescendingly over his big nose at the other high lords. He looked a little like a scrawny old magpie, dressing only in black with skin white from staying locked inside his home for far too long.
Next to lord Cressery sat lord Tarren, the other lord from the north. He was undeniably beautiful, in the fair blue-eyed way of most northerners, but sadly also completely and utterly devoted to his wife and the people. He was one of those who loved to see himself as a 'man of the people', always putting the needs of the poor and the powerless over everything else, even though those people had never given him any reason to. His status of a hero that he had managed to achieve among the people, his influence and his seemingly endless fortune outlined a person perfect for being manipulated, but - like lord Cressery – his moral standards made it impossible to manipulate him into anything that would be beneficial for me.
“Either you withdraw your forces, or I withdraw my funding. It's up to you.” Lord Tarren's voice was just as melodious as one might assume from his looks, and the sharpness of his threat was almost lost in it.
Lord Stonemace – as he named himself – looked like he might hurl his enormous body towards lord Tarren, but even someone as hot-tempered as lord Stonemace knew better than that. He had made a name for himself during the great wars, and had won the respect of several soldiers that still served by his side in his small private army. He was a force to be reckoned with, but he had no money and had as such become more of a tool to lord Tarren than an actually high lord. I suppose I could have funded the little army instead, but I didn't really need an army of my own since I was already in control of the emperor's army. “Fine,” he growled after quite some time. “We'll withdraw, but I swear those savages were preparing for war.”
I sighed quite audibly. The though of the inhabitants of Sijhth Island going off to fight anything at all seemed ridiculous, and I knew well enough that the only reason lord Stonemace had invaded them in the first place was because he was bored. There was a shortage of wars these days, and for a warmonger like lord Stonemace peace was a time where he was even more useless than normally.
“I suggest we strike them down when we can.”
As I felt the emperor's eyes on me I shook my head a little bit. I didn't really care if a useless tribe or two were destroyed, but I knew that lord Stonemace wouldn't be satisfied with anything but complete genocide, and I needed those 'savages' to pick medicinal herbs for me and the academy.
“No, lord Stonemace. My empire will make no unprovoked attacks. If the inhabitants of the island actually attacks the mainland then we will discuss it again. Next question.” I surprised me how authoritative the emperor had learned to act during these meetings, even though it was rather obvious that he always agreed with me no matter what the decision was about.
“Make it the last question. This has already dragged on for far too long,” I added, straightening my back slightly as I realized my boredom had started to show in my posture, and the emperor nodded.
“We have something rather important, your highness.” The two Mitrid'r brothers spoke at the same time, in perfect unison, as if they had practised beforehand. They had always enjoyed confusing others, especially us high lords, and their identical clothing, jewellery and similarly tied up black hair confirmed it. Their light brown eyes were as mysterious and alluring as the rest of them, the small golden drops in them telling of the ill-begotten fortune behind their names. 'Slave kings' had become their epithet, as the twins more or less ruled the east now, buying slaves cheaply from the dessert tribes or simply taking them by force. I had no doubt that they had slit more than a few throats to get to the position they now held, it even seemed like they enjoyed being thought of as murderers. Every time they came to the palace they had to be coaxed into leaving their weapons in their room, and even so I always noticed the hilt of some weapon or another sticking out of their rich clothing of black and gold. “We have heard rumours that several of your highness's knights have been deployed to the north. May we be so bold to ask why?” Their bright white, wry smirks were unsettling. They must have been consorting with lord Jaelkis, the ancient leader of the knights' order, on whose silence I had stupidly trusted. I guess we'll be only six high lords soon.
I gave silent thanks to my ability to control my facial expressions, because without it I would've surely frowned or glared at either the twins or the old man. Instead I kept my face cold and calm, answering them with a voice that sounded as untouched as my expression. “Yes. They were sent out on my orders,” I started, and the emperor nodded in agreement. “There is something very important that I need to locate. You need not worry about it.”
“Oh?” One of the brothers said with a playful expression, looking much like a cat playing with his food. The Mitrid'r lords had always been too confident. It was bound to become their downfall one day.
“So it has nothing to do with the prophecy?” the other brother continued. This wasn't good, in any way. The old fool had told them even more than expected, and they were apparently well-informed enough to know about the prophecy.
I chuckled. “I knew easterners were superficial, but believing in old legends?” I shook my head reproachfully, trusting in my acting skills. “If you must know, I was simply experimenting with a tracking spell. It is urgent to see if it functioned properly, because if it did I will soon be able to monitor any individual that might be a threat to the empire.” They knew well enough that I counted to that category. Their craving for power, and what that craving made made them do was notorious. Anyone would suspect them.
“We see.” The words were simple, but it was clear from glistening, hungry eyes that I had not yet heard the last from them.
***
The council was quickly adjourned after that, and only the emperor and I remained in the room. He must've known what I was going to say, for he was avoiding my eyes and looking rather pale.
“Lord Jaelkis is conspiring with the Mitrid'r brothers. He needs to be removed.” I had been planning to let time get rid of the dour old man, so that I could replace him with my own puppet once that puppet had been knighted, but since things had turned out the way they had I needed to get him out of the way immediately and find a temporary replacement.
“Surely it was only a slip of the tongue,” the emperor mumbled. The authority he had managed to conjure up during the council had vanished as quickly as it had appeared. “Lord Jaelkis wouldn't do something like that to me, not willingly.”
I sighed inaudibly, walking up behind the emperor and putting both hands on his shoulders. “You have a kind heart, but sometimes that kindness makes you blind. I have already secured another letter written by lord Jealkis and addressed to the twins. It contains information about your daily routine and pinpoints the moments when you are the most vulnerable. He might have treated you kindly in the past, but he wants you dead now. The proof is overwhelming.” I didn't have any letter, but it would be easy enough to forge one if the emperor asked to see it – though I doubted he would.
His shoulders sunk together with his head, and I could just barely make out his voice when he spoke again. “I'll have him executed.”
I made myself smile comfortingly and stroked his cheek, bending down slightly to kiss him. “You shouldn't let something like this put you in a foul mood. People will always be out to take your power and position from you, especially since you have no children yet. Be careful with who you trust.”
“I can trust you, right?” His face was adorable, like a puppy begging its owner for attention.
Before I could answer the witch I had ordered to watch the knights for me during the council hurried in through the doors, immediately bowing down deep before the both of us. “I am so sorry for disturbing you, your highness. I need to speak to lord Rayvore.” She seemed to hesitate for a moment. “It is urgent.”
The knights had finally found them.
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I find it a little bit hard to believe that this evil guy would lie so boldly in the face of people and that they wouldn't believe him -- why would he risk lying to people when they don't believe him, which would weaken his ability to keep the secret AND kind of take his reputation down a notch. I am not sure I believe he would risk it. I would suggest taking another look at the end of that scene and seeing if you can't make it more natural.
I like, to an extent, how unique each of the other lords are -- it makes it easy to keep track of all the people at the table and yet still see them as a crowd, which is a tough thing to do.
-sad face at more puppet mentions-
This also seems a little bit of an odd comparison. In such a fantasy-based world, with such dark and gritty surroundings, this guy thinks about a puppy and an owner? Has he ever had a puppy/dog been in a situation where he would see that image to make such a comparison? Be careful to not mix yourself in with the characters~~ Haha. Also, be careful to avoid cliches or stereotypes in your characters! Like an evil guy always always always being evil or having people act like their names. Haha, or maybe that's just my taste...
Lastly,
Who is the them? I thought they were just searching for the "one" phoenix. If you said "them" because this guy doesn't know if it's a he or she, then just have him say the pronoun that he thinks it would be. It's okay if it's not accurate to how you understand the story, because you're building this person's character in their perspective!
Again, as always, I hope these thoughts are helpful to you~
Would love to see a PM or reply if you have any questions or comments about my review.
Good luck and keep writing, my friend!
Thank you for the reviews ^^ I always enjoy getting one from you since you always bring up so many important and valid points. It's all going into my notes on what to edit.
On the use of "them" here, I believe it was explained in an earlier chapter. The feather goes to the so called guardian (or protector), and the guardian then goes to find the phoenix. The "them" refers to both the guardian and the phoenix. I'll work on making that clearer, and I think it'll also become easier to understand in the next chapter.
Good luck on review day
Hi there, Alvarin! GreenLight24 here with another review of this novel for you on this magnificent Monday night!
Let's get this party started!!!


Wow. You've done it again. Just like the last chapter of yours I reviewed, this one was epicness. Lord Rayvore just keeps getting dirtier and dirtier, and that makes the novel get better and better. I didn't read the last chapter before this one, but I'll still try to put the pieces together here with this review.
The first thing that I thought you did well here, much like in chapter four, was develop your dialogue. Here, you had a lot less to work with due to the fact that there were more than two characters in this chapter, but you still used all of the dialogue very effectively and it all worked wonders towards moving the narrative forward while still keeping things interesting. Lord R's inner dialogue, however, was the best part. Just like with chapter four, I've been able to get a very good picture of what this guy is like, how he deals with other people, and how he goes about achieving his goals. I thought he was a relatively slimy dude after ch. 4, but here in chapter six you've taken that slime and gone Full Nickelodeon Gameshow with it. The manipulation/foul play factor here is over 9000. Nice job further developing this character using his opinions of the others to frame his key characteristics.
The second thing I liked about this was the way that each of the other lords seemed to represent some sort of fatal flaw that Lord R is both aware of and wanting to exploit. The twins and that one guy would be bloodlust, the guy with the blue eyes would be the need for patronage, and the dude with the big nose would be excessive morality. I don't know if this is on purpose or not, but Lord Rayvore seems to be cut 100% from the Machiavellian mold of leadership. I dig that. Your use of the other lords' examples to highlight that made this chapter very entertaining and interesting to read while also offering your audience more tangible details about your main character. Well done.
Now then, for the constructive criticisms!!!
Fear not, there's only one.
Although you've continued to develop your main character really well and seem to be going in the right direction with your narrative and thematic elements, this chapter wasn't exactly on par with chapter four when it came to the narrative voice. You were still able to maintain the same refined tone that Lord R had in that chapter, but I felt like it was done less gracefully in this chapter. At times, it felt more like a list of complaints about the other guys and less like a philosophical breakdown of each of them. You still got your point across and I could get a sense that you were leading your audience towards the philosophical side of things, but the language here wasn't always consistent with the awesomeness of those ideas you presented. I think that a few fresh looks at this chapter would solve that very easily however. Just go back and expand on the narrative voice like you did in chapter four and really unpack those ideas effectively. I think that if you do that, this one will be just as awesome.
Once again, thanks for a great chapter! This novel is still coolness and I'm glad to see your main character is developing even further. I hope this review is helpful for you moving forward and remember, never stop writing!
Thank you so much for your reviews :3
I definitely agree with you that this chapter is lacking when it comes both to language and format. Since I'm writing this for the LMS challenge I have to put the chapters up by a certain time on Sundays, and this week I was really low on time. I'll definitely rework this chapter when I'm editing, so that the descriptions of the high lords flows into the story better, and I'll also expand the dialogue to include a bit more of their meeting and more of the goals of each lord. And of course, I'll try to make the language more elegant. Lord Rayvore is very demanding on that front >.>
Anyway, thank you again for reading and reviewing ^^