Salutations.
I see another wolf has already reviewed this work, and one of my fellow canine musketeers with whom I share a friendly competition, no less. Well, I have seen that you have reviewed my work, and for that I am grateful (though I have yet to actually read it - review days, exhausting stuff), so consider the favour returned.
I find your humour refreshing. Not only is it highly entertaining to see the crew squabble amonst themselves, but it also reveals a bit more about the characters themselves. I therefore applaud your charactarisation.
The Rolphin plunged down into the trough of a wave.
I found this sentence very strange, and only later did I understand that the underlined is the name of the ship. I advise putting it in italics.
They had almost no time to prepare.
Squalls are notoriously difficult to predict.
"Lower the sail and raise the small one we use during storms!" he shouted.
I am ninety-five percent sure there is a definite term for the sail to which you are referring, but as I myself am still studying nautical terminology and have yet to learn of many of the necessary terms, I cannot say exactly what it is.
Cnut meanwhile had the rest of the crew start rowing.
There should be a comma both before and after meanwhile.
For a time they made headway against the wind though in the end their efforts were futile. They were forced to hunker down under the sail which aslo acted as a waterproof canvas. Nonetheless the crew were still soaking wet from constantly bailing water out.
You seem not to be too sure as to where to place your commas. Well, each of the underlined spaces requires a comma, and the underlined word is spelled incorrectly, as you'll see.
The storm raged without abating forever.
I understand that your exaggeration is deliberate, but would you perhaps consider improving it by saying "for what seemed like forever"?
"If you call that a bath your definition of a bath must be really cold water constantly drenching you." Gündar replied dryly.
Even though he is sopping wet, that is rather dry. Oh, and did I mention that I love puns?
At a loss Gündar, picked up one of the poles poles used for shoving off and used like a spear.
Another comma is missing, but that is but one of three errors; the other two are the repetition of poles and the ommision of it.
"For once I side with Rolf and Rollin, Gunadar."
You spelled your own character's name wrong. *chuckles* I apologise if that seemed rude, but it was appropriate, considering the context.
"That ain't even a real word. It should be [u]more sore[u] stupid! Use grammar!"
Oh, that is really ironic, considering the underlined should be placed in quotation marks (or inverted commas, if you prefer calling it that) and ought to be followed by a comma.
"Well "ain't" isn't a word.
Hypocrite! ain't is a word, but not one accepted in formal language - it is a colloquialism. Anyway, how dare he object to the use of a colloquialism when he used one himself: isn't.
Your greatest issue in this chapter is with the usage of commas; however, I found few other errors, so I applaud you in that sense. As I have said, your chapter was highly entertaining, and I am amused by your use of caricatures. A chapter well done, I should say.
Points: 16319
Reviews: 286
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