Sigberht was up early in the morning before the rest of the crew or the sun rose in the sky. Soon a red haze could be seen on the eastern horizon and the birds began to chirp cheerily. The creatures of a nearby fir wood also began to stir. Sigberht, being in a good mood, began whistle a merry tune. Soon a few of the crew including Sveyn, Rollo, and Edwin got up and wandered around the camp. Sigberht recruited one of them to help with the cooking. He was making biscuits and omelets. When everything ready Sigberht glanced out into the bay.
"What in the name of Olaf the Mad is going on!" Sigberht exclaimed. "The crew of the Chaser is arrayed on the deck fully armed. Why'd they do that?"
"Who knows?" Cnut said. "Say! Look at them now a few of them are lower-ing their rowboat. Perhaps there is a ship coming toward the harbor we can't see. I think we should prepare for a battle. What should you advise Stefan?"
"Well there is a chance that there is a pirate ship. But I don't think it is likely."
"Why not Stefan? The Chaser is at least half a mile out into this little bay."
"Well if the ship was that far away they wouldn't be in arms already. Besides they would send a signal not send their rowboat ashore. Thirdly I think that the Sealion and the Ivan would be preparing for an attack and telling us as well."
"But what else could so alarm them so much?" Sveyn asked. "I should think they would have told us if it was a drill if it was one. Another thing is that they have never done a drill, or at least not one of this scale unless I am mistaken."
"Why don't we all just wait until they arrive to figure it out." Gündar said.
"That's right." Arnulf agreed heartily. "I'm glad we have at least one person who had a good deal of common sense onboard the Rolphin." So they waited.
After about eight or ten minutes the rowboat Was beached by the half dozen crewmen of the Chaser. They got out of their boat quietly with swords drawn. They the men hired as guards by Captain Chase. They huddled in circle warty of any attack. Stefan and his crew were confused. Why would they be so wary.
"Captain Chase demands that you give up the coffee and jewels at once!"
"What are you talking about. We have our daily ration of coffee here though I see no other. If you mean to fire me then I suggest you give my a good reason why and give me a heads up. As for jewels, aside from a few earrings we none. But I don't think you have any right to make such demands as that. But what is this all about. Have we encroached on you or offended you. If so we will make amends. But I must know what this all about before we continue conversing."
"You know very well what this is all about. And stop acting like you are just an innocent sailor. You have stolen our entire supply of coffee and our jewels while we trusted you to protect us. But now you have betrayed us so give up the stolen items and then we may talk peaceably but the captain will not have you as a guard ship any longer. Now where are those jewels? Hidden somewhere!"
"As I told you before we haven't any. Now stop accusing us and think. It is likely that that thing we suspected to be a whale was really a pirate ship. They probably boarded the ship at night and stole the goods. Then they sailed off."
"For the last time I tell you to give up our jewels or face the consequences!" By this time the man was getting nervous. If it came to blows he would have to face three to one odds. That was pretty steep for his men to face. In addition to that, he and his men had never had more than a few months of training com-pared to these men who had three years training and had fought in a battle.
"You may search through our entire camp if you will and even our entire boat. I assure you, however, that you will find nothing that is yours. But if you must you are more than welcome to thoroughly search the entire area for jewels."
"How do I know you won't simply try to trap or capture me in the process?"
"You don't." Stefan said bluntly. "But you have my word that we have not taken your jewels or coffee and that we only intend to restore them to you. In that case you should have no reason to suspect us. Now let's get back to food."
"Amen to that." Gündar said. "That's the best thing said this whole morning!"
The majority of the crew began eating though a few watched the the guards.
"You need not worry about them. They won't find anything." Stefan said.
"Of course they won't." Sigurd said. "But they might try to pilfer something."
"I don't know why they would though you may keep an eye on them if want."
The captain of the guard and his men found nothing that they were looking for, despite a thorough search of the Rolphin and the crew's camping grounds.
"Well if you taken the jewels and our coffee you have hid them well. But who else could have taken the jewels. I should think that if a crew of pirates would make the Chaser rock back and forth which would have made us wake up."
"Not necessarily; the Chaser, being a larger boat than our's, doesn't rock all that much. And even if it did rock more you wouldn't notice it while you were asleep. And there might have only been a of them. But let why don't we talk."
"And what may I ask would we talk about? The wages you get payed or m–"
"No." Stefan said cutting him off. "I believe that some pirates raided you. So I think it is my responsibility to go after these pirates. Since it is almost certain-ly from Nitalia we will go there first. Now you may think that we will just sail off and never come back again. But to assure that we won't I will leave one of my men with you. If, when I return, we come back with the treasure you will pay me for my efforts and with a tenth of the treasure. If not you shall pay me half."
"I cannot agree to any deal you offer but I shall return to captain Chase post haste." With that the six men shoved off in their little red skiff for the Chaster.
Some fifty minutes later after the Sealion and the Ivan had been informed of the situation and set sail for Catania the skiff from the Chaser. Arrived on the beach where the Rolphin was beached. It was manned by Captain Chase, his first mate George, the captain of the guard and three of his men. All carried swords at their sides though they showed no sign of hostility toward the crew.
"We have considered your proposition. Though there was a good deal of de-bate over the subject, we have decided to deny your proposition. We also ha–"
"We wait for your command sir."Cnut said to Stefan laying his hand on the hilt of his sword. Stefan motioned for Cnut to relax before turning to speak.
"We did not steal anything from you. Besides, don't you think we would have stolen your weapons and or rowboat so you couldn't retaliate against us?"
Hello again, r4, Wolf here for a review.
So, there are quite a few grammatical/spelling errors in this piece, but most of them are grammar. Such as a missing word here and there, capitalization errors, punctuation errors here and there, so I would recommend to you to go back through and thoroughly reread this chapter and seek out those issue. Don't just skim, try to actually read every word carefully.
Also, I'm always really confused on who's saying what. There are so many characters put in here that are trying to be developed it gets super confusing who has what role and who does what and who has what relationship and personality, etc. Slow it down a bit. Try to focus in on one or two characters at a time and really draw them out. Show us everything, don't tell.
I do wish there were also more descriptions, since of course the setting doesn't have much to describe (though you could describe the camp's layout and how the land looks and stuff) but there are also other character's looks that need describing as well. Here and there its put in there, but it's left out for the most part.
You've got a good plot going on here, and you just need to add meat onto this bone. I say this a lot, I know, but it's true. I find this slightly boring just reading through, but I will admit, it has gotten better. Little my little, and you're skills will improve drastically. I'm sorry if you thought I was being too harsh, but I am only trying to help. Happy Review Day and Keep Writing,
~Wolfare
This is a great start (I haven't read the first chapter)! It is very nicely organized and I like the plot. I just have a few things to say.
First off, in the sentence "in eight to ten minutes the rowboat Was beached etc." I think you meant to saw was not Was. Well, that was a minor and easy to fix grammar problem ;D.
The other thing I am going to mention is the part where it says "Thirdly I think that the Sealion etc." I think that the thirdly just doesn't fit well in there. You could easily fix this by changing thirdly to also or something along those lines."
Last of all, you have a great gift at writing conversations. That is very hard to do, I admit. But I noticed that you have a little bit of an overdose of talking. You just need to add in two or three good paragraphs of description of either a person or the scenery.
Overall, this was very good, the plot was nice and intensity was high and mighty. I loved it! You just fix these minor mistakes and you will be on your way to publishing big.
Thanks again for the review! I will work on the errors you mentioned I am certainly glad you like the story.
It's funny that you mentioned the dialogue because up until less than a year ago that was my weakest area. But now I tend to let it take over.
It is somewhat hard to write description in a maritime adventure but I will try to keep that in mind when I edit this.
You're welcome!