Hello.
Okay, first of all, I really like the poem and choice of words, but it feels like it needs more, and it also needs to be edited (at least I think it does, you don't have to listen to my words, I am just suggesting).
"how i marvel at my mediocre married life"
"no cars, just broken computer games - "
"newly painted white, white walls"
"the odours, entwined, surround us"
"the evening breeze dries the bleach"
"we sit with stitched sunny smiles and sweaters" - At these lines, the first word of each line should be capitalized, including your first word 'goodness' ..
Also, the word "odour" is spelled incorrectly, unless this is a weird universe way to spell it.
I also liked the rhyming of the last word of each stanza ( I think .. yeah! )
Other than that, I don't see any major errors that would change the poem completely .. so keep up the good work!
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Reviews: 351
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