Young Writers Society

Greetings... lets see...Milanimo. Nice to see you have written a poem.

I found this poem had a particularly good flow to it. I like how you ended each line and how the words moved into one another. You didn't resort to the clichéd rhyme schemes you often find but it also maintained a constant rhythm, much like a clock itself, which helped covey the poem quite well.

You were not quite constant with your punctuation and capitalization, for example

The gears turn incessantly

Pausing for no one.

The gears turn incessantly;

pausing for no one.

Not time, nor life

or death.

The clock maker,

so lost,

so irrevocably hypnotized

finds the meaning of life in each

move the hour dial.

For a moment the title made me wonder, what is it about? but the moment i started reading The gears turn incessantly

Pausing for no one.

Not time, nor life

or death.
I just loved the concept and idea of the poem.
The Concept is nice and so is the description.
I liked the following lines:
The clock maker,

so lost,

so irrevocably hypnotized

finds the meaning of life in each

cuckoo,

each

ding dong

when the hour strikes.
The only thing i'l like to add is to put in more punctuation marks, as for a short poem or poem of this length, they add more to the meaning and power of words.

For a moment the title made me wonder, what is it about? but the moment i started reading The gears turn incessantly

Pausing for no one.

Not time, nor life

or death.
I just loved the concept and idea of the poem.
The Concept is nice and so is the description.
I liked the following lines:
The clock maker,

so lost,

so irrevocably hypnotized

finds the meaning of life in each

cuckoo,

each

ding dong

when the hour strikes.
The only thing i'l like to add is to put in more punctuation marks, as for a short poem or poem of this length, they add more to the meaning and power of words.

Instead of 'Pausing for no one.' I might put 'no thing' because you then go on to list things that the gears aren't pausing for so this would be more consistent.
It's very interesting in a confusing way that you say they're not pausing for time. Generally, the gears represent time, and it kind of leaves the reader at a loss for what the gears are supposed to represent. What else turns incessantly, pausing for nothing? Do you mean that the clock maker is caught up in his work that his work will stop for nothing and no one? That he finds the meaning of life in each relatively insignificant development of his job? I like this interpretation. I love the amount of meaning you captured in such a short poem.
"Each golden gear gleams" Love the alliteration.
There should be a comma after incessantly I think. Of course, poems are a bit looser on grammar, but if you don't have a good reason why there's not, you might want to consider it.
I love that the last line is 'when the hour strikes.' It seems so violent, like the watch maker was just sitting there, working and working and working and then he died suddenly and had done nothing but worked and hadn't even realized he'd wasted his life.
I hope this review helped.
-tgirly