Young Writers Society

We've gabbed about the beginning and now it's time to turn our short attention spans to the end. No, I'm not ignoring the middle, but you can fill that with whatever crap you feel like. That's your business.

Heyo! I should have introduced myself first, but if y'all don't know who I am by now, then you're never going to, you non-intellectual fuckwits.

The ending is almost as important as the beginning, because you can really piss a reader off if the ending is crap.

I think the worst type of ending there is, is this one:

'And it was all a dream.' Or something along those lines. WHAT A COP OUT! How fucking annoying to work your way through an entire novel, only to discover that the writer was too lazy to be inventive at the end. How publishers let that shit go to print I do not understand, but frustrates the shit out of me beyond belief. Seriously.

Now whilst your end may not suck in that way, it is possible that in retrospect, you may not like what you've done. Which is why it's important to get the job done right the first time. JK Rowling is a classic example of this. (Who saw that coming?) As she has recently revealed that she thinks she wrote the ending of the Harry Potter series wrong and regrets pairing Ron up with Hermione. She said she doubted whether Ron and Hermione would have been a truly happy coupling and that distance was what gave her this epiphany.

So there you have it. Even the most successful writer in the world is prone to literary regret. So yes ladies and sperms. It can happen to you as well. So here are some ways to avoid this:

Mitchell's Top 5 Tips on Non-Sucky Endings

1. No people waking up from dreams

2. No typical "happy endings" - cliches are so out of date

3. An ending that deliberately hints at a sequel (stop promoting yourself, cocky little shits)*

4. Turncoat endings. eg. 1984. (grrrr, bloody Orwell)

5. A depressing ending - where nothing is solved in the novel, and you feel unhappy and wonder why you read it. eg Of Mice and Men

*JK Rowling did plan for a seven book series and you can do that! But just don't make it so obvious until you've got your publishing deal anyways.

So there you have it.

If you want some suggestions as to what your ending SHOULD be like instead then here is some advice...

"DON'T DO ANY OF WHAT I FUCKING LISTED ABOVE!"

And that about covers it.

See you for the final Chapter, and I am keeping the topic of that one a secret for now.