Manhattan
Present Day
This is getting really old.
Honestly, I am getting tired of waking up in strange places after getting knocked out for some reason. Is it my fault? No. Am I getting tired of it? Yes.
But when I opened my eyes, I noticed two things. One; I definitely wasn't in the med bay. That was really disconcerting. And two; I could see.
Well, at least I think I could see. Instead of complete and utter darkness, everything was bright. It was kind of hurting my eyes, but what can you do. There was no air pressure, so I couldn't tell how big the room was. If it was even a room. I was lying on something, although I couldn't tell what. Everything was the same, it all looked bright and hurt my eyes. Apparently there was no beginning and no end to my current location. And standing up, I noticed that the floor (if it was a floor) had no texture.
Everything rang with an eerie sameness that intensely creeped me out.
“Kind of weird, isn't it?”
I turned quickly at the voice. To my surprise, I found myself staring at a woman. I think it's a woman. I honestly didn't know how to tell with no air pressure or smell or anything that I usually relied on. The only way I thought she was female was because her voice was somewhat high pitched. But then again, some she could have been a gay man.
“Who are you?” I couldn't help but ask.
She laughed slightly. “Well, that's a good question with an interesting answer.” she paused. “I guess you could say that I'm you.”
Um........“WHAT?!? Are you insane?”
She laughed again, only this time it sounded darker, more crazy than her previous one. “That, my young self, is debatable. Very debatable. But right now, I am more sane than I ever have been.”
That is so reassuring. There has to be another way...“What's your name?” I asked more slowly this time.
“Katherine Anne Pryde-Rasputin.”
Okay, that one threw me a loop. “YOU MARRIED PIOTR?!?” Just because I didn't believe her doesn't mean that I wasn't surprised at her claims.
“Technically, you married Piotr. Or will marry. Maybe. I don't know what my presence here is doing to the timeline. We never really thought of the outside implications, just the end-game.” she slowly moved off topic, clearly thinking aloud to herself towards the end.
I'm also thinking a lot of words right now. None of them are nice nor can they be said in polite company.
“What the hell are you-” she cut me off mid-sentence.
“Look, it would be easier if I just showed you.”
“What do you mean, show me?”
For an answer, she moved until she was standing directly in front of me and placed her finger on my forehead. “This might be painful,” she warned, “brace yourself.” She closed her eyes, and my knees buckled with the weight of the agony. I was seeing things, flashes of what I can only describe as hell on earth. And from what I could understand through the pain, these were here memories.
“We interrupt this program with breaking news! Senator Kelly has been assassinated by an unknown assailant, but the perpetrator is known to be a mutant!” I listened on as my family watched in horror. “What does this mean for us Xavier? I asked.
“I don't know Kitty,” he said, “I don't know.”
FLASH!
“So they can register us now? Like common criminals?”
“In their eyes kid, we are the criminals.”
“My family has gone through this once. First it's registration, then it's work camps, and finally gas chambers. It's only a matter of time.”
FLASH!
A red-eyed man telling me that I am his creation, and that Scott and Remy are my brothers. My mother is Mystique. But in truth, I am something far worse.
FLASH!
My wedding.....first pregnancy......first abortion......all in the camp I predicted.
FLASH!
A crazy plan we cooked up. Send me back in time at a point where my telepathic shields aren't fully developed, and save Kelly. End the war. Save mankind.
FLASH!
A lifetime of memories processed in moments. I lived what she had-and what I would-experience. I knew what it was like to love Piotr, to have Kurt for a brother. I learned who and what I really was. I lost children, lived and died all in those moments.
I drew in a breath and shakily stood up. She (it was impossible to think of her as me) gently reached out an arm and supported me. “Now do you understand?” she asked softly. I nodded. How could I not understand? How could I not want to end this, this hell?
“Tell me what to do.”
~*~
I sat up, shocking the people surrounding me in the med bay. “Keety,” Kurt said, “Lie back down and let us check your readings. Now that you are avake, maybe ve can discover vhat caused you to collapse.”
I stared into the direction of his face, wishing more than anything that I could see him at that moment. This man, who in truth I barely knew, was my brother. And I had just listened to him die. Moving faster than I ever thought possible, I clutched him to me.
Hey, Kate, you really need to stop! You're freaking him out!
I haven't seen him in over a decade, so to speak. she retorted. Give me a second.
Sighing, I mentally took a step back and let her personality take over.
“Oh my gosh, you're alive!” she shrieked. She held him close for a second before stepping back and stretching her hand out.
“I'm in the med bay at the mansion. Oh, god I can't believe it actually worked! Rachel said that it would, but I wasn't sure until now.”
Kurt, meanwhile, was stuttering slightly in his confusion. “O-of course I am alive, Keety, why would I be otherwise?”
The two of us sighed in my head, remembering his death. But he wasn't the only one in the room that was puzzled.
“Kitty, I think that you need to lie down like Kurt said,” Storm spoke gently to me, as if I were crazy. Maybe I was. “And let us check you for any injuries.”
“You haven't called me Kitty in so long,” Kate sighed quietly. “And really meant the affection behind it.”
Kate, you need to let me take over now. They're more likely to believe me.
Alright. She (figuratively) stepped back, and once again I was in complete control.
“We don't have time for that, Storm. I need to see the Professor, now.”
“Kitty,” Piotr cut in, “Why are you acting so strange?”
“You wouldn't believe me if I told you.”
“Try us kid.” Logan said.
And so I did. The whole story came out, well, the parts that they needed to know anyway. I told them about Kate, and part of what she had shown me (the bits about the war), but I left out certain things like the fact about Kurt being dead, But they probably figured that out anyway. Quiet! And several other little details like the fact that I was married to Piotr. Or will be married to Piotr. I don't even know any more.
They were all skeptical, and were obviously debating whether or not I was crazy and if they should sedate me. We could tell. “Look,” Kate and I said together, the double tenor ringing in our combined voice. “You don't have to believe us. You can think that we are crazy. But what if we are right, and Senator Kelly does die at the press conference the Professor is attending today? What if we are right, and it happens all over again? Storm,” we turned to her in desperation, “Can you take that chance?
~*~
They believed us. Or, at least they were curious and concerned enough to take me to DC where Xavier could scan my brain and find out once and for all if I was telling the truth. I have to admit, their lack of trust was a little disconcerting, but when I considered the circumstances I understood.
All of us (Storm, Logan, Kurt, Angel, Piotr, Kate, and I) were currently seated in the X-Jet (yes,we have our own private plane) which was set on a one-way autopilot flight to Washington. Kate was in control again, having a conversation with Storm. Piotr was seated next to me, Logan and Storm across, Kurt hanging from the ceiling, and Angel was leaning against the wall. “So, Kelly dying is what causes this war you told us about? How?” she was asking.
Kate sighed. “The Senator is a decent man, with what he thinks are legitimate concerns about the number of increasing super-powered mutants, much like us. The mutants that killed him belong to a group known as the Brotherhood, who wish to teach humanity to know and fear the power of homo superior.”
She laughed dryly. “Oh, they feared us alright. All of us who stood against what the Brotherhood had done complied with the consequences that followed. We were convinced that the hysterical paranoia of the humans would pass.” Kate paused slightly, before leaning forward and resting our hands on our knees. “It didn't.”
“And then in 2020, a few years later, a rabid anti-mutant candidate was elected president to the joyous cries of the people. At the time, I was reminded of a movie quote, “So this is how liberty dies. To thunderous applause.” Star Wars, the third episode. Not my favorite, but it was appropriate. Within less than a year, they attempted to pass the first MRA, a Mutant Registration Act. The Supreme Court stuck it down, bless them, but the response of the Presidents administration was to create the Sentinel Program.”
“Giant robots specifically designed to hunt and capture mutants. They were given an open-ended program. Eliminate the mutant threat, once and for all. The concluded the best was to carry out their program was to take over the world.”
“We didn't stand a chance. Sure, we took a lot of them down with us, but the thing was that they could build new ones to replace the ones that we decimated. We couldn't replace the people we lost. And dear god, we lost so many. Not just mutants, but non mutant super-beings, heroes, villains.”
Kate was growing more emotional as she continued to speak, our shoulders shaking with unreleased sobs. I wanted to cry as we shared the memories.
“W-we fought, and we lost. We di-ied. And now, seeing all of you here again, alive and whole.....God, I didn't think it would hurt this much.”
For a while, there are no sounds in the cabin of the jet....save for the anguished cries of a woman who lost everything, and a girl who shares her pain.
End of chapter
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Hello there Knightteen! Eeee already the third book to series is coming out and I have a lot to read. So I'm trying to catch up now.
Wow. I was really expecting the whole story to continue in as the year 2047 as was fully prepared to go on so I was surprised when we went back to Kitty's body. And Kate's too. This chapter could've been so confusing what with the future colliding with the past and two people of the same nature stuck in the same body [Have you read the Host? Reminds me of it hehe]. But you wrote this cleverly and in such a way that although we were confused, it was a pleasant kind of confused which doesn't put us over the edge and let us lose the story. Brilliant job there. I'm also really glad that you didn't do the thing where Kitty tells the story and all the X-men believe her because it must be true, but actually have them being skeptical in there. Adds to the realism.
Here I think you shouldn't have a comma but have one of these ;
The way she says this makes it seem like the hell is happening now... which it kind of is but to Kitty it isn't. So maybe you should put that instead?
You use a lot of ellipses (...) <--- those thingies in this chapter. But really you don't need anymore than three. So this:
and this:
Should just be like this for example: My wedding... my first pregnancy... first abortion... all in the camp I predicted.
Also if you are continuing the sentence after the ellipsis then you need to have a space in there before you start the next part
I hope this helped! Moving on to read more...
Deanie x
Timmy here for a review!!
I don't like this Kate. Nope. Why??
This:
Star Wars is the BEST!
Now this is more personal preference, I suppose... But I think it would seem less confusing if you put the "she cut me off mid-sentence" on the line after Kate talks, not after Kitty talks.
Comments on storyline and whatsomacallit stuff
So this was amazing. Perfect pacing. Dazzlingly confusing... until I realized what was going on. Wonderful descriptions, and I loved how you described the whole deal of her gaining her eyesight... It was very well done.
The whole deal of the two of them having the same body; occupying the same body, was confusing at first, but once I got used to it, I was able to enjoy the transition--the smooth transition--that you captured... It was a neat twist to have Kitty change her name as she got older. If you hadn't done that, we would REALLY be confused while reading it!
All in all... This was an amazing chapter, very well done. It completely overshadows your first when it comes to style and just everything, and I thought the first was awesome! It was also very sad.
~Darth Timmyjake
Hey KT! Here for my birthday gift.
A few nitpicks:
The repetition is unnecessary.
Cut the indicated word.
Not liking the "Um......." part. Feels like it's you, the author, interrupting and not Kitty. Remove it.
OKAY SO THAT ENDING OMG
I lovelovelove what you have so far. I love the narration, the fact that we saw what Kate (adult Kitty? still confusing, why is she going by Kate? xD) and the future life is like in the previous chapter, then it jumps us back to the present and Kate is talking with her younger self and showing her everything. I do think you could have captured Kitty's emotions better at that part, because I want to know how she felt to know that she marries Ptior and has a baby that she, for some reason, aborts and people die or are already dead and this war, and the way humans prosecute mutants. There's gotta be some insight on what she thinks about that.
But really, I adore the way you had Kate and Kitty merge, and the pain Kate showed at the end was just terrible. Seeing Kitty like that, and she's gonna grow up, it's just deep. I love it. I can't wait to read more This is getting really good.