Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Well, this is quite an interesting concept to base a story on here...I don't think I've run into anything quite like this before on YWS before...blindness is always a sort of side thing rather than the main focus...so its interesting see something that focuses mainly on the main character being blind here.
Anyway let's get right to it,
I'm blind. I was born like it. It makes me feel foolish and stupid since I don't know what colors are. People tell me they're beautiful bright things that you see on furniture and clothes. I don't get it.
Okay...well, this is starting off on a rather sad note here...looks like someone that's not having the greatest of time with a pretty bad disability there by the sounds of it...and well, its definitely a neat start to a first chapter here..certainly manages to get your attention as a reader there.
I'm probably the only kid in town who is homeschooled—but that really doesn't bother me. I mean, I'm already blind. Life can't really get much worse.
Well, it looks like our protagonist here has a fairly pessimistic view of life in general judging by that...well, let's see how this pans out here as the story continues.
My brother is always playing something called video games. He says it's fantastic and filled with color and you shoot things. That doesn't really sound fun to me; I'd rather be listening to music. My sister reads a lot. There are words on a page that you read. I don't think I'd like that, either. Also, they have plenty of school! They're always doing homework which is basically schoolwork at home. When Mother and Father homeschool me, I always get breaks. Besides, it's pretty hard to understand geometry when you're blind. Right?
Okay...well, not entirely sure what the tone of that paragraph was meant to reflect...I almost bit of a sense of sarcasm there as this person talks of the things their siblings enjoy doing but they can't do and dismiss them as something they wouldn't like...and then talk of how they have less schoolwork but somehow it all seems like its not really what this person means...
The only thing I see is darkness. People call it black. Atleast, I think so. They say black is a very dark color. But they also say other colors are dark, too. I can also see brightness when I go outside on a sunny day and look up at the sun. It is a weird color, I think. I don't like it.
Alright, this is definitely creating some interesting perspectives...of course its hard for me to say what its like to be blind so I don't know if its realistic but it definitely is quite interesting to have us sort of see from the perspective of this person here...as they notice the world around them here.
Mother tells me I am beautiful. I don't know about that. She says I have blonde hair. I think blonde is a color but I've never had the time to ask someone. I should though. She also says I have white eyes. Everyone says white is the opposite of black, so I am sure that white is the color I see when I look at the sun. But I can't be sure.
These paragraphs certainly have more of an innocence to them than the previous ones. Those came off sounding a little bitter wheras this is more innocent curiosity here...judging from just the general vibes I'm getting here.
I wonder what other people look like. Mother says my sister has blonde hair, like me, but instead of white eyes Mother says she has blue. I wonder what blue looks like.
Mother and Father never really talk about my brother, Jason. They say he doesn't want us talking about him. Oh well.
Well, that's an interesting detail, among all this curiosity we have a brother that doesn't like being described, that can't possibly be referring to anything good at least...it most definitely doesn't sound like its referring to anything good here.
I have friends. They are very nice to me and they help me around sometimes. They tell me stories and sometimes I don't know what they're talking about, but I don't ask. My two closest friends are Elizabeth and Anna, and they support me a lot. I like them because they never ask me about how being blind is—which many people do. It gets annoying a lot, because isn't the answer obvious? Being blind sucks.
Well, that seems like two good friends there...ending on a different note yet again, so I am quite curious as to exactly what tone you wanted to convey with this piece here. At any rate, this is a rather intriguing first chaper.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, a pretty solid first chapter you've got right here...it does seem like a story that I would probably read here. Anyway, that's about all I've gotta say here.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Points: 254413
Reviews: 4104
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