Young Writers Society

*waves* Hi there!

Okay, I'm not entirely sure what the message of this was supposed to be, if there was on. I figure you were talking about a "survival game"? If so, I think you should give more examples as to what they're trying to survive from. Nature, human beings, an epidemic, zombies, monsters, demons, something else?

You talk about faith in God, so that makes me think that the reason for survival is just to survive in life overall, despite life's hardships. It seems to be focused on spiritual thoughts and believing in God to help you on your path. I think? But then again, that wasn't very clear, so I'm lost. Please explain? xD

But other than that, I thought this was pretty good for a short poem. It was simple, easy to follow, and what I loved best was you didn't have a forced rhyme scheme. That can always ruin a poem if it's awkward, because it disrupts the flow. But your flow was, for the most part, decent. The pacing was steady, the poem was simple yet nicely written, and it was overall a pleasure to read. ^^ Hope that helps~

Hello Windsailor here to review your poem. So at first I must admit I as kind of confused on what the poem meant, but I think I kind of get it now. I didn't understand why you said "I am going to count to three" they whole part kind of confused me. Though aside from my confusion I will say the poem did have some good imagery and just good wording in general. It was quite poetic in how it was written, though the way you presented it made it kind of confusing to understand. The poem could use a little work in that aspect, though aside from that I think you are on the right track. Overall good job, keep writing! - WindSailor