z

Young Writers Society


16+

I'm Not Okay

by Nike


Warning: This work has been rated 16+.

I live in this world in which you would believe I'm okay.

I'm not okay.

You'd also think that my friends would be there for me. They aren't. When you watch or even read something about someone going through trouble, this person has their friend(s). But not me. My friends forgot all about me and they are living their own lives.

I hate sounding selfish. I hate making everything about me. But, I've realized. It has to be about me now because I'm not okay.

I've had two panic attacks in the last two weeks. I've become so frustrated that I've broken plates, glass, and mobile phones. I've been nearly tearing my hair from my head. I feel sick, mental. And that's not okay. If I know that something is wrong with me, does it make me less mental or just more frustrated with the act that I can't help myself become normal again? This 'mental' ruins my eye sight. It's straining it because my eyes aren't bad, my brain is. That's what I've been told.

I just wish that my life would get to normal some day. I feel like if I do nothing and just live on life, everything will fall into place and I'd be happy and normal. No.

That's not going to work. I have to just stop living life as it goes on and not do anything with that. I can't just live everyday as if doing nothing will change someday. I have o start doing something to make my life better. I need to get better. I need my brain to get better. I have to stop being mental. I need to get real friends. I need to get a boyfriend. I need to get a job. I need to stop being mental.

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Random avatar

Points: 620
Reviews: 16

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Sat Mar 22, 2014 2:41 am
wretchednot says...



Well this is a very interesting story you made.
All the hardships your going through sound extremely terrible and completely unfortunate.
The way you tell about your struggles gives the story a very sad input and I love how you did that.
You know how to portray sadness because your living in it right now aren't you?
I also like how I can kind of relate to this about frustration and so called 'friends'.
I especially like thepart where you put:'I just wish that my life would get normal someday. I feel like if I do nothing and just live on life, everything will fall into place and I'd be happy and normal. No'
I love how younput the feel of being honest with yourself.
So good job and such stay strong and keep on writing.
-wretchednot




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Points: 620
Reviews: 16

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Sat Mar 22, 2014 2:40 am
wretchednot says...



Oh! And make sure to proof read seems you made a grammar mistake.




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59 Reviews

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Reviews: 59

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Sat Mar 22, 2014 1:50 am
Sunshine1113 wrote a review...



Sunshine here to review...

I feel like right now you've gotten stuck in a dark place and need a hug *hugs* this made me very sad. I was recently was stuck in a state of mind like this. In fact even though I'm "better" I'm still on some level stuck there. Anyway I've been beat to the punch on this, everyone stole my nitpicks. If only my iPad hadn't of crashed, maybe I would've been the first to review. But really, I feel where you're coming from, it's not fun being stuck in a place like that and it certainaly isn't healthy. If you feel like your ever alone or sad even though at this point in time I'm a complete stranger to you, you can pm me and I will listen to whatever you feel like ranting about. *more hugs* on a brighter note, you are a very good writer and even though this piece was depressing it was also well written and did keep the readers attention.




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933 Reviews

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Reviews: 933

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Fri Mar 21, 2014 11:59 pm
Iggy wrote a review...



Hi Nike! :)

Just a few nitpicks I spotted:

I've been nerely tearing my hair from my head.


You mean nearly? Also, how does one nearly tear out their hair? You're trying to show that the narrator is distressed and going through a lot, so I honestly think that them actually tearing out their hair creates more of an impact than them nearly tearing it out. What do you think?

If Iknow that something is wrong with me, does it make me less ental or just more frustrated with the act that Ican't help myself become normal again?


Spaces are missing between "Iknow" and "Ican't." Also, what is ental? I don't think that's a word.


Okay, so this feels more like a blog post than a short story. Was this coming from you? It feels like you were stressed and upset while writing it.

Well, either way, there's a lot of errors. A lot of words are either missing a letter or missing a space between the end of one word and the beginning of the next. I suggest you reread and edit.

Now, onto the overall plot: I'm not sure there is one. How is the narrator mental? You don't explain it very well, and you don't provide any evidence that proves s/he is mental. There's got to be a psychological reason, or examples you can give, to show that s/he is losing her mind. And if you can't find a reason, then the effect is lost because I believe that s/he is just overreacting.

Other than that, this was pretty upsetting. I can feel that a lot of emotion was put into this and that the narrator is in a dark place right now, but yet s/he isn't willing to give up. And that's what truly spoke to me, and what truly helped me connect to this piece, was the fact that I can relate to this and I, too, won't stop fighting.

Thank you for sharing and I hope everything is well. Miss SBing with you <3




Nike says...


Thank you for the review. I was typing this on my tablet so it sucks, but I fixed everything.

And I miss SBing with you! :(

Thank you for understanding this piece because it is a very hard time for me. :)



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530 Reviews

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Fri Mar 21, 2014 10:32 pm
Renard wrote a review...



Hey! XD

If this is true, then I admire you're honesty.
The work caught my attention because it has the same title as a My Chemical Romance song and I love them <3

I feel kinda sad after reading this work. Also because I post similar stuff sometimes so I can relate.
It's well written, with simple language and good organisation. I am impressed. :)

'I just wish that my life would get to normal some day. Ifeel like if Ido nothing and just live on life, everything ill fall into place and I'd be happy and normal. No.' This was my favourite part.
I think your spacing has gone a bit dodgy at some points like Ifeel and Ido. LOL. But that can easily be fixed.

'oyfriend.' Also, I am guessing you meant boyfriend here? XD
Lil amusing typo there. :D

'I need to stop being mental.' I think this line sums it up perfectly. It's everything you're trying to say. And weirdly is everything I'm trying to say too. Maybe it's a young writer thing? XD

I love this work. Definitely one of my favourites.
For its honesty.
Its simplicty and its accuracy.

~BSF




Nike says...


Thank you for the review! You're so nice. I an happy that you understand what I wrote.





Anytime. Aww thank you. You're nice too. We should talk sometime. And yeah, I related completely to what you wrote. :)




A good artist should be isolated. If he isn't isolated, something is wrong.
— Orson Welles