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12+ Violence

The Introduction

by dreamkiller09

When many people were young, they were told bedtime stories. These stories were told to peak one's imagination and send children into blissful dream. Some stories were about princes dressed in armor, fighting to protect their princess from the evils of the world. Other stories were about fairies and other magical creatures. As a child grew older, reality would sink in and the realization that the fairy tales and fables they were told as a child were nothing but myths.

However, some "fairy tales" are true. The story about the ancient "witch" that lived alone on the outskirts of town? That one was true. The story of "the sleeping beauty"? That one was true too. It's all because of a little known tale that most kids never paid attention to. The story of the White Rabbit.

The story itself isn't too significant. A white rabbit with snow white hair and bright blue eyes has the magical property of granting a wish- if one is lucky enough to come across it and catch it. Once you catch the creature, you make your wish, and you let it go. There is no more and no less to the story.

Some have made the mistake of trying to harm the rabbit or hold it captive for their own greedy, selfish purposes. The repercussions of these actions always mysteriously results in death and destruction, whether it be of the body or the soul.

So be warned. If you come across the white rabbit, be careful. Make your wish and set it free. Let no harm come to it, and no harm will come to you. The only good piece of advice that I can give you is to wish carefully. There's no telling what will happen if you don't.

You were warned.

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77 Reviews

Points: 878
Reviews: 77

Sun Mar 02, 2014 9:38 am
AdjiFlex wrote a review...

Now this is a wonderful, refreshing piece of fiction. The introductory paragraph is hardly anything short of perfect. As Alex said, it is kind of in the wrong genre (horror). Imagine if this story was a prologue in a book of shorts, each short story focused on an instance where the white rabbit was caught. The possibilities would be endless. Some of those stories could be very funny, while some could fall into the horror genre you seem to like.
Good work.
Keep writing.

User avatar
170 Reviews

Points: 0
Reviews: 170

Sat Mar 01, 2014 12:34 pm
deleted5 wrote a review...

Hey dreamkiller! Alex here to review your short story!
I quite like how you took fairy tales and acted like they are real and to be warned of in this story. It gave it a funny and dainty feel to it. It's not really horrow though.
My favourite paragraph has to be the last one. It really feels like something an adult would tell a child like "stranger danger".
I don't like to nitpick when finding things to improve but honestly I find the concept and your way of telling it superb! Your grammar is mostly right! Just one teensy tiny thing:

The story of "the sleeping beauty"?

Isn't it "The story of "Sleeping Beauty"?"? I'm not so sure about that though. It may be different in different countries.
Overall, great short story! I can see you have an unique style!
Oh and welcome to the site!

You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.
— Joyce Meyer