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Life

by stephndek


LIFE

Am here, ready to rock you, world!

All you’ve to do is be firm and bold

You might just not get it

That is if you don’t play my game..

If you want to play, just do it,

You don’t need a formula, play

And if you don’t get it…maybe I’m not clear,

I be like poetry…and you want something straight, I fear

Ok, let me speak English now, right?

Follow your heart, your Passion…!

Passion is something understandable,

Not like

Life or poetry.


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170 Reviews


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Reviews: 170

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Sun Feb 23, 2014 10:32 am
deleted5 wrote a review...



Hey stephndek! Alex here from The majestic icicles!
I liked your poem! I like how you explain life's rules and if you don't like it, tough! Usually people would get all philosophical and serious in poems like this. You still put across a lot of philosophical meanings but you put it in a more modern and fast paced tone. An interesting new angle!
Just a few nitpicks:
Your punctuation is a bit weird in some places, like eclipses followed by exclamations or two dots instead of one. This does express the passion that this poem is all about but it does make it look a bit messy. Not important this one just my thoughts.

LIFE

Am here, ready to rock you, world!

Shouldn't "Am" be "I'm"?
Overall, I really like how you wrote this poem. Very unique way of putting what you think across!
-Remember the Frozen Reviewers.




stephndek says...


when i say .....!/? i mean think about that for a moment, the exclamation mark is to say that i find that curious or interesting or significant or....(as in you can think of what to add) Hope that helps. And yeah, its "i'm here" not "am here", thank you.



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Wed Feb 19, 2014 11:02 pm
JAM4242 wrote a review...



I love this. Ok lets revise that. IIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVEEEEEE TTTTTTTHHHHHIIIIIISSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow. The one thing that I want to point out is that there is not a DISTINCT rhythmic patter i can see a A(maybe)ABCB then a AABCDEF try to make it a little more fluent. THIS IS NOT NECESSARY FOR IT TO BE AN AMAZING POEM. I just think this should be under consideration. Many famous poems don't have a distinct rhythmic pattern. For example, you have probably read Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's Paul Reverse's Ride. The rhythmic pattern vary with each stanza. So keep Writing!!!!!!!!!




stephndek says...


i will keep writing maybe a pattern might creep in, Wordsworth, i have read some of his works, he's great. urakoze!



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35 Reviews


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Tue Feb 18, 2014 9:25 pm



The poem was awesome.
I think a lot of people can really relate to this piece of literature.
It was short, but well written.
Keep up the good work!




stephndek says...


piece of literature?..wow that's calling it something!



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35 Reviews


Points: 394
Reviews: 35

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Tue Feb 18, 2014 9:25 pm



The poem was awesome.
I think a lot of people can really relate to this piece of literature.
It was short, but well written.
Keep up the good work!




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Points: 304
Reviews: -2

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Tue Feb 18, 2014 5:33 pm
picklemagic says...



I like that's named life in this poem. It's basically like me in my life.also it's the oppsite for the every end like the other sentence. Great job at this piece I love it.





It is only a novel... or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language
— Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey