E - Everyone

Watch

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The trees, watch as they dance to wind. Watch as they live and die, only to be reborn again. Watch as they spread their seeds, bringing life to the land. Watch as this delicate system is destroyed by humanity.

We do this. Humans as a whole bring down trees for our selfish reasons. We began with a reason to survive. As time grew on the need for trees grew larger and larger until whole forests were destroyed. Destroyed by us. Not everyone does it. Some try to regrow these trees, try to keep their way of life going. Those stick up for the right thing, only to die unsuccessful as the world cuts down their work. Now I am not the Lorax. Nor do I speak to the trees. Take a minute and sit by a tree and watch. At first you may not see their beauty. If you don't see it at first look closer. Look at nature's finest creation and learn from it.

We can help. Get a friend or a member of your family to help. Every Labor Day people everywhere plant trees to help them thrive. If you help at least one tree then you have helped all the trees. One tree could lead to more. Then more to a forest. So plant one tree and grow a forest.

So watch the trees and see the beauty within.

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
Casanova
Review

Heya, Lost! GooseLuck here to do another review for you, so let's take flight, shall we?

The first thing I noticed after reading this was something I actually enjoyed whether you meant for it or not- the first and last line have a line with 'wind' and 'within'. It's a slant rhyme, but a rhyme nonetheless, and I really enjoyed that, so well done. Anyway, continuing.

Overall I found this to be a really short and interesting piece and I'm wondering why you wrote it? It doesn't seem like your typical stuff and it has me intrigued, but more on that later. Let's get into it.

Really, the only issue I have with this would be the shortness of the piece, as I feel like you could have come up with more to add to it that would have been good. Really, I've noticed, this has been the own fall of a few of your works considering you tend to write short pieces whether it be a novel chapter or a sentence, it's all usually very short,and I feel like you could work on that a bit more and it could help you out a lot. Anyway, onward.

I find that this piece actually works better without dialogue and I give you props for that.

Overall I didn't find any grammar mistakes, punctuation nor capitalization mistakes or anything of the like, so props for that, I'll reread in the morning and tell you if I find anything that I missed tonight.

Anyway I think that that's all I have to say on this one and I hope it helped.

Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.

Sincerely, GooseLuck

User avatar
TimmyJake
Review

Timmyjake here to give you a review!

So I don't actually agree with you that the trees are going away. Perhaps if you live in a big city, but I live in Oregon. Oregon has more trees than it knows what to do with. Everywhere I look. Trees. Millions of them, especially in the National Forests. I will review this for punctuation and spelling as well!

The trees, watch as they dance to wind.


I think here there needs to be a little revising. Maybe, "Trees. Just watch as they dance to the wind." It didn't seem to have very good fluency with the other way it was written.

Watch as this delicate system is destroyed by humanity.


I didn't like the transition between talking about the trees life and then to humanity destroying it. I think that if you added a "And then" before "watch", it would help the flow.

Every Labor Day people everywhere plant trees to help them thrive.[/quote]

I always thought it was Earth Day that people did that?

So I thought this was really good! You are spreading a message to everybody to start looking after their planet. Trees are beautiful! But just remember what the house you live in is built out of and you will also remember the many uses they are too us. We have been given a great gift from trees. It is up to us to not abuse it.
~Timmyjake

>.< In some places trees are scarce. I better put Earth day. I actually thought it was Labor day. *Side note I wrote this when I was about to sleep*

User avatar
Jibber
Review
Jibber wrote a review · Wed Dec 04, 2013 9:53 pm

Good job! I enjoy the comments you inserted into this piece of writing by very accurately describing life and what it means. I love how you end this piece of writing by saying:

"... So plant one tree and and grow a forest.

So watch the trees and see the beauty within."

Nature can teach a person many things and I find that when something like, in your example, planting a tree and watching it thrive, can often humble a person as well. There are people who do not take the time to admire what they have and be thankful for the shelter that is provided for them. I myself am one who does not always enjoy the wonders of nature.

Finally, I would like to point out that at this excerpt:

"Take a minute and sit by a tree and watch. At first you may not see their beauty. If you don't see it at first look closer. Look at nature's finest creation and learn from it."

I draw the conclusion that sometimes when looking at one thing (like a single tree) you only see the one thing and not everything else that is given by it. Thank you for bringing to mind the beauty of nature and the happiness it can bring to a person. :)

Happy writing! :D

Thank you! I tend to write either about beauty, psychology, nature, or horror when I am tired. I wrote this and I thought that it seemed ok enough to put on here.

User avatar
GoldFlame
Review

I love this! It really got the message across. In addition, your writing was fluent, and I couldn't find any spelling grammatical mistakes. I'd just recommend going a bit deeper--adding some description here and there, to really dig into the heart of the reader. Or maybe that's just me not knowing what I'm saying because there really was emotion in here. :) Keep on writing!

I understand what you are saying but I doubt I can fix it. I came across on of my writing trances. This time wrote in the category of nature. If I come across this mood again maybe I'll write something like this. Maybe about flowers, or the moon and sun.

:) Those "writing trances" occur to me, too. I tend to write brokenly, though, if I'm only trying to get an idea down, so I applaud you. Very fluid!

Moonlight, sunlight, leaves, and wind are favorite nature topics of mine. For some reason, flowers are more difficult for me. I can't wait to see more of your work in this genre!

Life and death come much easier but I can write about anything almost if I get the picture in my head.



Sometimes even shooting stars find wishes that miss their marks.
— TryHardNinja