Young Writers Society

Hi, another review from the apple dumpling gang. This seems like a really nice, sad poem which has a lot of meaning. To me this poem reflected the regret of a person not being able to do anything while his/her loved one walked away. it's lovely how you' ve expressed your emotion. I also love the repetition of that tune- its the foundation of your poem.

On the other hand, I felt like your poem could use punctuation.

Overall- a good poem. I hope to read more of your work soon.

- anshira

Hey there, here for a review.

I loved this poem, and I love the importance you gave to that tune.

Sometimes I cry alone at night

Whistling away that tune

Very interesting... I like it. It's unique in every regard, and I think the title matches it perfectly. However, it doesn't seem to be following any particular pattern as most good poems should. I would suggest that you try to be less word. Poems are meant to be written with very descriptive, floral words, which you have..but in between these words, there should be fewer small words like, "that, as, at, this, of..." Of course, these words are the skeleton of your poem (and are important in every regard), but you need to leave more room for the meat (extensive vocabulary) of it.


Now obviously, I'm just trying to give you some constructive criticism so you can go further with this, but don't get me wrong, this was very well written despite any minor errors. I've read some of your work already (if I remember correctly) and I've quite enjoyed it. I hope you write more poems like this, it was definitely worth reading! The best of luck to you!