Hi there! here to review on behalf of The Epic Ice Cream Warriors of Pluto! Yes, that really is our name.
I'm in no terms what so ever a poet so I really can't help with the technical side of this poem! I can, however, comment on the content!
1. I love the rhythm. It literally had be on the edge of my seat and it was an excitement and pleasure to read
2. I think it's a very clever subject to choose as it's close to many, many hearts.
3. My favourite lines of the whole poem are:
"the only thing that he could think, the words from long ago
as the tears rolled down his face, he whispered soft and slow" - BEAUTIFUL!
4. I don't think you forced any rhymes which I think a lot of poets do! Well done for making it all fit.
Good luck! Keep writing and I loved your poem!
Olive <3
Points: 25558
Reviews: 347
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