Puppy dog eyes wait.
Ice-cream bowl now on the floor.
Never mind, cat leaves.
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137,676 Literary Works • 672,057 Reviews
Hey, Shalie! My humble servant? No, my humble... hmm... just kneel before me! I, the cat, will review this poem. Therefore you must take careful heed of my commands.
Let me get on with the review.
Puppy dog = deformed canine. What is this strange deformation of half-child and half-adult? Gasps.
Besides that, this is fine line to start off the haiku.
Why ice-cream bowl? I understand that ice-cream is delicious, though I don't get why its there. I mean, if you want to feed your pet, don't feed it something that will make it sick! In fact, the bill to take the cat/dog/puppy? to the vet is actually a lot more expensive than paying for the ice cream. <.< >.> <.> >.<
This is definitely the best line off the haiku if I had to choose out of the three. The line easily relates to the title giving it a nice feeling of being able to relate to something.
My rating:
8 1/2 / 10
The haiku showed some potential, but you didn't use it until it was at the edge of the cliff. If you added some more, then that would've, without a doubt, really helped, but we want this to be a short, sweet haiku don't we, dear?
Keep writing!
~Kitty
Thanks for the comments and reviews so far.
Lovely. The enigmatic feel is a thing of beauty.
~The dark one
Such a very humorous and slightly heart-warming poem I must say. I don't really know much about haikus so please bare with me as I review.
As a person who owns dogs this poem I now hold rather dear to my heart. This poem also could relate to every one of my dogs. I have never had cats but I do see them as rather arrogant creatures, which is why I found this very funny.
All in all a very amusing poem. Great job and happy writing!
Very cute and charming. I recommend you change the first line's punctuation to a comma, though. It would make it flow better.
I do like the humorous feel, it is light and easy to read. In general, I am not a fan of haikus. But this one is very kawaii and sweet, and I enjoyed it.
Good job here, and don't forget to keep writing!
~Rainn
This poem touched me deep within my soul. This'll be a quick review, and it's really only about the mechanics of a haiku. A guide, if you want. My particular favorite part is the list of a bajillion rules at the end. Just things to think about. In all seriousness, change the first period to a soft-stop, i.e. comma. That's literally the only foul here. Now let's talk about what I can make your kitty poem into to make myself sound pretentious.
The cat is, as per usual, a figure of envy for humans because of its carefree nature. You have a situation that is so small it's laughable, but if a child had committed this act, they would have cried. Why? Because broken things on the ground are mistakes, society tells us. The cat will leave, carelessly, but the child will either a.) stay put, crying, or b.) run, hide, and cry because c.) his parents liked their ice cream bowl in one piece. Personally, I envy the third-line cat because I can't, as a human, walk away from my issues because a shiny just gleamed in the next room over. So when I say that this poem touches me in my soul, it's a little bit true.
Anyway, nice haiku. Now I'll go mope about my ice cream bowls.
Thanks.
I am glad this poem touched your soul. I enjoyed reading what you got out of my poem. It is so true that cats are carefree, they also will only do things that are convenient to them. I always had joked that the cat is not our pet, they are the owners of us! Once again, thank you and I will look into the guide you gave me. 