Pressure

Hey there Cheetah!
Giraffe here! OMG we both have animal usernames how silly! I love this poem it's hecka cool! The plot is really swag! But my favorite thing is the font! It's so cute!!!
Hope this helped, keep up the good work!
~Your freindly neighborhood Giraffe

Hellooooooooo! Very good first poem!
I like the way you have turned you three repeating statments into questions, that works really well. Another thing I like is that this can be sung to the tune of people are strange when you're a stranger.
I think you may want a different last line though, perhaps breaking the rhythm? Just a thought.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!

Timmyjake to give you a short review! I am trying to hit everyone that asked me for reviews on that forum discussion thingy, so here we go!

I liked this a lot. Someone is pressuring you to do something you don't want to do, grabbing you by the arm, pulling you down, holding you, and then never letting you go.

So I will hit a few things that I think would brush this up!

Your placements of question marks could be moved about, I think. Some are in the right places, but it seems as though some of them just send your poem to a screeching halt... Right in the middle of the stanza. So, like Iggy said, the first lines question mark, I think, could be just cut out to make it flow better.

Then where you say, "Is it true?" next line. "Pressure can kill you?"

I think it would flow better if you put something before Pressure. Maybe that? Or, like Anshira said, Can? I don't know. Just a suggestion. You don't have to take it as gospel!

My only other thing to critique would be the lack of formatting. I know its hard to format stuff on this website sometimes. There is a little box you can check off that will keep all of the spaces and stuff for poetry when you submit a new work.
So this was really good! I am terrible at poetry, so I don't know how you guys do this without rhyming, and still make it flow so beautifully. Happy Writing!
~Timmyjake

Hello, hope you enjoy reading my review. A very well- written poem and based on a very realistic theme. I really liked the way you have described pressure and its disadvantages. However, I wish that this poem was more lengthy; it would be more clearer on what you are expressing.

"Pressure can break you?"

This sentence sounds better if written as:

"Can pressure break you?"

Same with all the other questioning sentences- if "Can" is put in front of "pressure" it makes the flow better. Ignore this comment if you dont want to change it.

Your ending does not feel like one; it feels like the poem is continuing. Overall: a lovely poem which I hope you can extend. Wish you luck with your future writing.

- Anshira; Tean Blue

The Messenger Knight here to review for KotGR.
So, Iggy got some of the main points, but I feel kind of . . empty after this. I think you have so many questions going on, that you almost lose focus. and you never come back to answer any of them either. I would suggest lengthening this poem, or maybe even creating a second poem that is an answer to this one. I just feel like I don't have any answers at the end. I hope this doesn't seem to harsh to you. Your writing itself was very goo for the most part besides the small things Iggy showed you. I just feel a little unsatisfied like I didn't finish reading the story.
Keep it up!

Hey Cheetah!

Is it true?

Pressure can break you?

It is true?

Pressure can kill you?

Hold you against your will,

Never letting you go.