They all throw words.
Throw them as if they were light.
Wear them as if they were disguises.
Abuse them as if they were nothing.
"Love," they say,
with intention,
with meaning.
But their intentions are weak.
The meaning contorted.
"Hate," they say,
"I hate them. I hate you."
But is hatred to be taken so literally,
when it is so carelessly handled and caressed?
And to them I plead,
leave words behind.
Or carry them instead with their full weight.
Bare the pain and allow it to open your eyes.
Watch with me as words are thrown.
Help me hold them carefully.
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137,557 Literary Works • 672,043 Reviews
Hello~
This was a beautiful, beautiful poem. You pack so much meaning into your words, it does the poem justice. It's so true. Words that are most powerful now have become weak because of overuse. If people really only said those things when they meant them, people could communicate with so much more emotion.
There's only a few things I want to point out.
In the second line, I though you meant "light" as in "not dark." Maybe you could use a synonym or something there. Maybe you could even change the line to (I know this disrupts the length) "as if they were not the powerful/heavy/delicately-balanced things they are."
Another thing, you formatting is wacky. See if you can change that. If you need help, I *think* I know how to change it.
Also, your final stanza doesn't really make that much sense when you think about it carefully. I'd consider revising that, but I like the intended meaning behind it, so keep that if possible.
I really did enjoy this poem. I think its something everyone should read. Keep writing!
~Fortis
Hey! Thank you for reviewing, and you're right about the formatting, I honestly havn't had much experience with that so I just kinda went with it! I'll pm you!
Hey there I am Onyx from KotGR and I will be reviewing your poem today.
So here are a few things I would like to point out, nothing bad nor big. Just little mistakes that everyone makes.
Comments
Great job with this poem. I like it a lot and I have to say, poetry is not really my thing either! You do an amazing job, I like how you describe the words being used with emotion. Now I have to ask, when you say "they" are you talking about society in general or a certain group of people? Just a question I had when I read through this.
You do use this phrase a lot, is it a part of your style?
I would of added a comma instead of a period after "say" because they are still speaking. This is just my opinion.
I like the point you made here, I can really connect to it with my own experiences.
Over all
As I said before, I like the poem a lot. You did a nice job! If you have anything else that needs a review, feel free to send me a message on my profile and I will be happy to do so.
~Knight Onyx
Thanks for reviewing! The use of "them as if" was purposeful and I will definitely add in that comma!
Also, "they" is referring to society as a whole.
Hello my name is Morgenstern.
I can't find anything to add to this as I think it is good as it is and believe in Poetic justice.
You really made me think about the way we use words and how careless we are with them. It is something that I have often thought about. Something Marilyn Manson said. "loving everybody is destroying the value of". I find it is the same idea, and words should be chosen carefully.
I found this to be an excellent read and found it very easy to follow. I like the style that you have written it in and I like the content.
I enjoy the way it starts, like you are telling a story. I enjoy the lines; "they say".
I find the flow of words and lack of rhyming refreshing, as so many have this intense need to rhyme words, and its not really needed.
I can't wait to read some more of your work.
Thank you! I've never heard that quote before, but I think i definitely fits. I'm looking forward to reading some of your work as well!