Young Writers Society

You don't know who I am.

Well, actually, I take that back. You do know me.

Don't you remember me? I'm that girl that sat next to you in history the past two years. You copied off of me during tests, thinking that I didn't notice your gaze trailing off your own paper and onto mine, but I did. It was because me that you got an A in that class, yet you never cared enough to learn my name. I was just another sucker that you used to rise in the ranks of the class, it wasn't worth learning my name.

You and I were in choir together, though I sat on the other side of the room. You couldn't hear my voice among the others, and I couldn't hear you. But I knew that your voice was beautiful, considering that you always got the solos I wanted so much. You never cared to compliment me, but I complimented you many times. Though, you didn't think much of it, you just faked a smile and a thank you. You moved on, and forgot about me, forgot my kindness towards you.

I was in your P.E. class. I wasn't the most athletic student, and you knew that about me. You'd roll your eyes whenever you saw I was on your team. You didn't care that I was picked last most of the time. You just worried about whether or not you'd win that meaningless ball game.When I missed a pass or was the cause of the ball getting possessed by the other time, you snickered under your breath, calling me a loser or something worse. Sometimes I heard your words, but I never made it apparent. You laughed at me when I celebrated hitting the ball and making it to the base, saying that it was sad. Normal people should hit the ball every time they come to bat, catch the ball whenever it's passed to them, throw the Frisbee perfectly into the end zone. That was your version of normal. You didn't care that I was trying my hardest, you just kept rolling those empty eyes of yours, and easily forgot me as soon as the bell to the next hour rang.

You were in the musical with me. I never told you, but I had a little crush on you. I thought you were so good at everything, it made me jealous. Your smile was bright, your laugh was adorable, and you had the most serene green eyes. You were nice to me to make it better, complimented my voice when I sang, and laughed at my horrible jokes. You became a friend in my eyes. Though, when I tried to talk to you at lunch, you just stared at me, and began laughing, before walking off to talk to another girl. You acted as if you and I had never met before. But, when that bell rang and we entered the rehearsal, you smiled at me and called me by name, as if you hadn't ignored me earlier that day. It didn't even occur to you that I noticed your actions. When I asked you, you shrugged it off, and said I was too paranoid. I was just paranoid, that was your conclusion, you had done nothing wrong...

You called me your "Best Friend". You told me things that everyone else already knew, and told others things that I never knew about you. I told you everything about me, and you pretended to listen, leading me to believe that you actually cared about little ol' me. But you didn't, the secrets and true thoughts I entrusted to you just went in one ear and out the other. You would "joke" with me, telling me that I was stupid and awful, laughing it off like what you said didn't leave any bruises. When I'd tell you about my wish to be in love, you'd laugh, then spin me around. Your voice was so happy, saying "Honey, with these looks, you'll be looking for a while." You didn't realize that it was because of your thoughtless comments that I would never believe anyone that said I was beautiful. You claimed to notice every change about me, yet you never asked me why I began to have bags encircle my eyes, or why I began to smile less and less...You never heard my pleas with you to help me, you just simply walked away, saying that you were "too busy". You didn't even care enough to call me when I began to come to school less...and less...I went out of your mind. I no longer existed in your head, I was simply a name with no entity behind it.

And then you heard that I was dead.

Suddenly, you remember everything about me. You remember every detail about me, every strand of my hair, every tear soaked eyelash, every word you had simply disregarded when I said it to you. You claim that you were close to me, yet you say that you didn't see the signs that I was deteriorating. You say that I kept my depression inside, and put up a front. I always had a smile on my face, that's what you say...

You don't even realize that it was you that put up that front. You never saw the future because you fogged out my image and made it what you wanted to see. I didn't hide that I was crumbling, I called to you, screamed your name, begged that you would actually listen to what I had to say, and comfort me in my pit of darkness that you had dug under my feet. But you didn't hear me. Your ears were deaf, your eyes as blind as my world was dark. You stand over my grave, crying your fake tears, deceitfully mourning right in front of me. It's disgusting. You're ignorant, ignorant of all you've done to me, and others like me.

You could've been the one that saved me.

You could have helped me. If you had seen me, and had simply listened, you would of seen all I could of given. You would have discovered that I had a beautiful voice. You would seen that even though I'm a horrible athlete, I'm a terrific artist. I could have tutored you in History, and we could of been the best of friends. We would have been roommates in college, and would have been each others Maids of Honor.

You could have seen the beauty in my heart, and would have eventually fallen in love with me. You would have been the best thing I ever had, and I would have been the girl of your dreams. We would have eventually married, and I would have given you three beautiful children that would reach all the goals they set, because we were their inspiration. You would have had no regrets as we grew old together. And in death, we would have both been happy, as our lives had been complete.

But you never even thought about those things. You allowed me to rot away into nothing. You allowed me to become a corpse, a heap of flesh and bone that never knew love or trust.

You could have had me for forever.

You could have...but you didn't.

And now you never will.