Do you ever get the feeling that everything has changed?. Like your used to doing what you usually do almost everyday then it suddenly disappears and you have no idea why. Your just gonna sit there and ask yourself what happened. Dramatically, it kills you inside but sometimes you just cant do anything about it no matter how much you try and get back what used to be yours. You'll think that your the saddest person in the world then cry about the little things because your not used to being happy anymore. You also imagine that how the world would go if you disappeared or if you killed yourself would they be happy? would they be sad? I don't know anymore. I have mixed feelings right now. I'm happy because I'm finally free from the past experience that i faced. But then again, I'm also sad because almost everything i cared about is now gone. I tried getting it back so i can start again and make a new change. Sadly, everyone left and replaced me, like i was never important to them. I just hate it that everyone replaced me after a while, so starting now I wont forget the fact that no one stays, hence there are billions of people, the people you care about will find someone better than you and its really sad. Ill try to distance myself from other people and not get attached. I learned from what I've been through. Staying in the past wont get you anywhere. Sometimes you should stop depending on others and make your own decisions. You'll know your real friends if they are still on your side no matter what your going through. A sad life, isn't it?. You'll always experience pain and its normal. But feeling pain doesn't always mean that you should give up. Everything's not the same anymore. If i could turn back time, I'd make things right. But since this is reality, I have to accept it and just move on because if you don't, you'll just get hurt over and over again. Ill learn to be independent. Not everyone is there for you, so try to work things out by yourself. Real friends don't depend on how long you've known each other, but rather who was there for you in your brightest or darkest moments and no matter how hard you are to understand, they are still going to be with you and that's what matters, the ones who really listen and understand you. Past is past, so let it go. A new life awaits. Nothing lasts forever. Cherish every moment of it and be happy as long as its still there. We all have something that we cant have but once we have it, sometimes, we just don't need it anymore. Then you'll realize that you never knew what you had until its gone. Why right something that you once wanted?. Its your decision, face the consequences. Just live life and do what makes you happy, because that's what a lot of us here want. I've finally learned now. I should forget about what happened, enjoy today and hope for tomorrow. Life is hard but before it gets easy it always has to be hard. I should look on the bright side and just be happy about the little things. I'm finally in love again and i know who my real friend are. I wont ask much, ill just accept whatever happens. Good things happen when you least expect it. So just chill, enjoy staying young and try not to slip yup.
" This is written by my friend Anthony Von B Belleza
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137,699 Literary Works • 672,062 Reviews
Hey! I'm gonna review this
I usually review as I go so tell me if I start to babble.
So yeah, the "your v.s. "you're" thing is really easy to fix.
So this should be a comma. And I'm debating whether the "but" should be changed to "and."
This whole sentence is a bit awkward. "you'll be the saddest person, then cry..." just think about that. I mean the crying is a little implied, but even if you still want to say that there are less stiff ways to say say it. so far I've noticed that there's a lack of transitions between topics, and even though all the topics are related, you I still have to connect them somehow and right now it just feels choppy.
"I" should always be capitalized. And things in big paragraphs are generally hard to focus on because sentences seem to run together and it feels like a chore. Shorter paragraphs are much easier to concentrate on so I think this piece would be best split into two if not three or more paragraphs.
I'm pretty sure this is a run-on. I get what you're trying to say, and I really like that the population is mentioned as the amount of times someone could be replaced because that really makes me think about how true that is. There are so many other people out there just waiting for the things we have to be theirs. Saying that though, I think the sentence needs to be split up.
Okay here goes. Overall it's a great idea and very true as well as easy to relate to. I'm not sure if this was a personal experience for Anthony, but as I was reading it I realized it sounds like random thoughts sort of tumbling out. This reads like it hasn't been edited into paragraphs and connected ideas at all, sort of like ideas made into words then thrown on a page. There's a lot of potential emotion behind this, but it lacks a story. I feel like I'm being preached at a little, but if there was a character or two developed, the story could relate to them and THEN you can start using the "you"s and relating it to the reader. Also I did feel like this changed completely from the beginning to the end, and I don't really understand what it changed to. So I hope something I said helped, this feels like I never got to the point but I tried to say what I was thinking. It's a great start, I'd say review what people say and post it again
Keep writing!
There are a ton of "your" words that should be "you're". Like "Like your used to", and "You'll think that your the saddest person". And with this sentence, "Dramatically, it kills you inside", that "dramatically" doesn't do much. This is supposed to be realistic, right? Life is dramatic, all the time. Especially with the things that hurt. So I'd get rid of or change that adverb. It's just unnecessary. This sentence is awkward "You also imagine that how the world would go if you disappeared or if you killed yourself would they be happy?" I understand what you're saying, but after "you disappeared" it gets really rough to read. I'd separate the sentence into two right there.
There are a lot of "I"s that need to be capitalized in here. Also, "Ill try to distance myself" should start "I'll" <-apostrophe needed.
Minor issues, such as "wont" needing to be "won't", will not be detailed specifically. "But since this is reality, I have to accept it and just move on because if you don't, you'll just get hurt over and over again." The narrative shift from First Person to Second Person is really rough. The narrator's talking about themselves, and then they're pointing at us? That should be fixed.
"Just live life and do what makes you happy, because that's what a lot of us here want." That is not a really good philosophy to have. Sometimes doing what makes you happy hurts yourself or hurts others (or both). So that's not the greatest advice.
And that last sentence that ends the piece is just kind of like "??? What does that mean?"
Hope this helps!
Pretty movingly written, I hope your friend Anthony is okay...
Quite a few times there's a "your" when it should be "you're", and paragraphs would make it easier to read, but I certainly think it meets its literary target.