Hey there Persy! Future is here to review your work. Nice poem! The Bad: "your hands were clammy
and small, withdrew from mine." The word "withdrew" doesn't work here, grammatically speaking. Maybe change it to withdrawing. I also don't understand why there are quotes around the words in the second line. I also don't get the title.
The Good: I loved the first line, and how it sort of contrasts with the last line, (Because summer is hot, not cold... Just to explain if you didn't do that on purpose.)
Thanks for posting this; it was entertaining to read! I hope the review was helpful.
P.S. I love your picture thing of Judy Garland.
Points: 479
Reviews: 12
Donate