When the Rain Falls
Chapter 02
The silence throughout the gym is so thick that it could be cut with a butter knife and be spread on a piece of bread, not even a whisper is heard as the principle babbles on about how things run in this school. I yawn, rubbing my eye in annoyance and completely ignoring the fact that the school has these ridiculous rules. You know how it is, on the first day back they tell you the rules and what to do and how to behave, only to end up a week later in one giant mess.
If you don’t believe me, ask what used to be the sweetest guy in the school, Jason. He was polite, never rude to anyone and everybody loved him until they got to him. Since then he’s been the opposite to his personality, as if the light of wisdom has been turned off in his head. Indeed, people do change over time, weather if it’s their groups to personalities.
I sigh to myself as the speaker’s words drown the room, bouncing off every wall and smacking each person into reality. That’s when I notice the row of new people entering the school. Each one of them looks nervous as if they’re about to jump out of a plane however, I can tell by their eyes that each on is different.
There’s one in particular that stands out the most, with her strawberry blond hair that seems to be a birds nest sticking out in all directions and how there’s blue streaks mixed in the pony tail. I’m not too sure if she’s actually from around here because her uniform seems to be out of place, her shirt is in the cheesecake style with her vest. The one thing that interests me the most about this person is not the fact that she’s very loud or the fact that she might be American due to her accent, but it’s her eyes. The green iris looks like it could strike at me and poison me and they have a hidden message behind them, like buried treasure at the bottom of the deep sea.
The drowning voice concludes finally, sending everyone out of their seats and wondering around the hall. I however just sit; I’m always alone anyway, not like a miracle would come out of nowhere and send an angel down to Earth. I know you all know this feeling, the feeling of loneliness that seduces you into its world and sinks you deep into a black hole, locking you up in the dungeon forever. There are so many reasons why some person might be in this state but let me assure you, if you sit there and do nothing about it you’ll end up in a pool of depression. I say this because I have to deal with it most of the time.
A tap on my shoulder gets my attention as I spin around in my seat, only to see that Mr Fry, my History teacher, sighing at me. I scratch my head, “May I help you, sir?”
He laughs, “Ah, Alice. How’ve you been?”
I shrug, “Normal, sir?”
“Really? You can’t always be feeling that, Alice,” he shakes his head, “You father called.”
I shoot my teacher a confused look, “He did? When?”
“Ah when school started. He just wanted me to tell you that he’s bringing the rest of your stuff late this afternoon,” he glances over his shoulder, spotting the new girl, “Say Alice, why don’t you say hi?”
“To who?” He points towards the girl and I raise a brow, “Why exactly?”
He sighs, walking towards a random staff member, “I don’t know, Alice. Just try it though; you may never know what will come out of it.”
I stand, “I appreciate what you’re trying to do, sir, but I’m not bothering with the suggestion.” That’s when I realize that I’m talking to myself, seeing him laughing away with the random staff member. I growl, “Are you fuckin’ serious, sir?” Rolling my eyes, I walk out of the gym and into the schools garden, not caring if anyone sees me.
The flowers have bloomed; the red and blue are splashing against each other, with their petals stretching towards the sunlight. The scent of freshly mowed grass runs up my nose and the wind brushes against my hair. It’s all rather relaxing really; it kind of reminds me of my garden in my London apartment. I know what you’re thinking, but don’t you live on a farm, Alice? Well, I don’t any more, ever since my dad sold the thing off to this land investor for some unknown reason. When we moved to the big city, I was really confused as if I was in a sealed jar, so my dad decided to set up this mini garden near the window. Ever since that day, which was only six years ago, flowers have brighten my day.
Now of course I only hang around here because there are hardly any people that hang around here anymore, like an abandoned house in the meadows really. Not a person in sight, with all their little groups that huddle together like bees, actually says a word to me, not even a simple hello. I actually do wonder if anyone needs me here or not, they all seem to be fine without me anyway. I sigh, “Someday…”
The wind picks up and starts to blow all my hair into a giant birds nest. Great, it takes me ages to do this hairstyle and now the wind destroys it. It’s a simple ponytail but the thing is, I’m so used for doing plaits rather than this monstrosity, so of course I’m annoyed. However, a shout from behind gets my attention, making me to turn to face an unusual sight.
The new girl comes running up to me, in what seems to be the boys uniform. I’m guessing she ran into Jessica, the ‘popular’ one. You know how this is; the popular one always tells the new kid the wrong direction or the wrong uniforms to make them seem funnier. Well, according to Jessica, making the new girls dress in boys uniforms is a good thing to do. Although, I’m a little stunned at the fact that this girl didn’t know, I wonder if she went to a school like this. Anyway, I raise a brow as she hunches down next to and huffs, “Umm…Are you okay?”
She laughs half-heartedly, waving a hand, “Ah…I’m just…Tired…Of this…Uniform thing...,” her accent seems to be really rich in American, as she stands and stretches, “Are ya Alice?”
I nod, “Yes…May I help you?”
She grins, “The teacher tells me that ya can help me out with the uniform thing…” She points to her shirt, “Apparently, this is the wrong one…?”
“Ah! Yes, it is,” I sigh and walk ahead, “Come along then.”
“Oh! Sure,” she runs and catches up to me, “So, they tell me that you’re incredibly smart, yeah?”
“By smart they mean the smartest girl in the grade, then yes, I am smart.”
She gasps, “Whoa! So you’re like, the smart one in your group, yeah?”
“Ummm…I hate to break it to you, but I’m the only one in my group.” Getting a confused look, I shake my head and walk in the building, “So, where are you from?”
She grins, “New York City, USA.”
“New York, eh? What’s it like?”
She sighs, brushing her hair out of her eyes, “Ah, ya know. It’s always gun crime this and murder that. Though, the shopping was good…,” her voice trails.
“How can you say that so lightly!”
“What?”
“About the murders and what not!”
“Oh!” She laughs, “Ah, ya know! It comes for being a New Yorker…Well, were I lived anyway. It’s not a big deal,” she shrugs and puts her hands in her pockets.
We arrive at the entrance to the uniform shop. The smell of new clothes crawls throughout my senses and the freshly coloured paint on the walls shine with the sunlight. I hear the students outside chatter within their groups while the footsteps of Casey’s feet stomp throughout the hall. The light from the windows sneak in and blink within the gaps of the trees. As we reach the end of the hall, I open this oak door to mountains of clothes in plastic.
I tip toe throughout the maze of plastic and fabric, minding the papers and stacks of folded shirts on the side of me. My eyes search throughout the room before landing on a lady. Her flaming hair is the only thing that stands out in this room, her glasses on the bridge of her nose as her eyes scan the piece of paper in front of her. I step towards the counter, coughing a little. She jumps; her eyes shift to face me. I smile, “Hello, Mrs Tyron.”
“Why hello, Alice!” Mrs Tyron chuckles, “How have you been?”
I shrug, “Fine I guess. Life’s been busy with my dad and on top of that, my so called mother keeps on pasteurizing me.”
“Oh? What about?”
I groan, “My imagination, my incapability to socialize with a person my age and the fact that I attended a mixed gender boarding academy.”
Her eyes show sympathy and she sighs, “Does your mother ever give you a chance to speak at home, dear?”
“No.”
Another chuckle escapes her lips, “Anyway, what can I do for you?”
“Oh! Right,” I point towards Casey, whom by now is texting on her phone, “She is wearing the wrong uniform.”
Mrs Tryon stands, walking towards Casey and placing a hand on her shoulder, inspecting the clothing. She scrunches her face, “Who exactly did this to you?”
Casey slips her phone into her pocket, raising a brow, “Did what?”
“They gave you the boy’s uniform, love.”
“WHAT? BUT THEY SAID,” she runs towards a mirror, glancing in disgust at the uniform. She glares darkly at her reflection, “They’re gonna pay.”
“Who? Did Alice do this?” she asks, making me appalled at this lady. Even though she’s extremely nice and whatnot, she can be sometimes be bizarre.
Much to my surprise, she laughs, “No way! She looks as if she wouldn’t hurt a fly!” Casey rubs her head, “And I bet if she did, she’ll bury it in her back yard!” She continues laughing.
“Then who?”
She sighs, “Ah, just these people that I really want a word with later,” Casey turns to me, “Thanks for helping me! I think I can take it from here, eh!”
My eyes widen as I raise a brow, “You sure? I mean, you could get lost and…”
She smiles, “Nah, it’s cool.”
I shrug, walking towards the door and I push it open, sunlight leaking into the crack. I look back towards the pair, only to see that Mrs Tyron is measuring her fittings and Casey talking about something random. Smiling, I close the door behind me and stroll out of the building. The weather changes, from the sun smiling down on everyone to high voltes of winds that slam against everyone’s faces. I squint, running towards the undercover area. Rain patters down hard on my shirt, making it drenched in its tears. The clouds cry more as I hide away undercover, away from its face.
I glance around; surprisingly no one is in sight. It’s a grave yard here; all that I can hear is the rains cries and the wind whistling in my ears. Sighing, I take a seat at some random table, watching the rain bucket down. Well, you can never escape that it rains here nearly all the time, the weather before was actually a rare occasion. Although, I remember once when I was little and we had perfect weather for one week but for the rest of the month was nothing but rain. The rain pours harder down on the roof and all I can do is think about my past? Something must be wrong with me.
Speaking of something, a strange figure is set in the corners of my eyes. Her black hair is wild and her posture looks as if she’s an old wicked woman. She leans against the trunk, a smirk playing at lips as she walks over towards me. She clutches a knife in her hands, the drips from the rain splash against the metal. She comes closer to me, making me highly uncomfortable. I step out of my chair and my feet stagger back towards the other side of the undercover area, the rain dripping on my hair. She laughs, hopping on top of the table. Her green eyes dart towards me, “Alice, dear, how I missed you!”
I shake my head, “But, you said that you can only come when there’s a mirror around!”
She cackles, “Oh? Didn’t I tell you? When there’s weather like this, I can come out.”
Suddenly, the sun creeps out from behind the clouds and makes it stand. I wipe the sweat rolling down my cheeks, “But!”
My eyes take a glimpse at her hand, which is now disappearing with the wind. She frowns, walking back towards the tree, “Just remember Alice,” she shouts, “When the rain falls, expect the unexpected.” With that, she disappears behind the tree as if she is a leaf flying with the wind.
I run towards the tree, huffing at the speed that I’m going in. I can’t believe this, I must be dreaming! She cannot come out of the mirror! Why, she told me this when I moved into the city, so why now? Why is Tiffany trying to destroy my youth for? I just need to be alone this year so I can at least try to make a friend. You see, each time I try I always fail because of the rumours that spread around about me. My feet dash towards the tree, skiting to a halt at the sight I’ve been dreading, nothing. It’s nothing but air and leaves invade the area, dancing with one another and preforming their routine.
I walk around the tree, still seeing the air and leaves dancing with one another. This is all too wired! I have this massive headache for some reason now, so that must mean that I’m either going insane or the rain has given me a cold. Well, whatever it is, it’s annoying me. A voice calls from behind me, “Alice!”
I turn to face John, a person I knew ever since primary school. His brown hair looks as if its mud and his height could reach towards the sky at this rate. He huffs, reaching a hand and placing it on my shoulder. I smile as his blue eyes seem exhausted, black rings under his eyes standing out from his tanned skin. I chuckle, “It’s nice to see you again, John. Have a nice holiday?”
“Oh, don’t be sarcastic to me right now, Alice,” he stands, rubbing his eyes, “The principle is looking for you.”
I shoot him a confused look, “Why?”
“He’s got your room number for the year.”
“Oh joy,” I roll my eyes as I walk inside, “It’s probably going to be one of those girls again who pushes me out of the room until three in the morning.”
He catches up, his ears hearing my input, “Ah, really? They did that?”
I nod, “It’s either that or an emo or Goth kid staring at me while I sleep…Which is scary as shit, by the way.”
He sighs and we turn a corner towards the principal’s office, “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m outta here.”
I stare blankly at him, “Seriously?”
“Yep. It’s lunch so I’m getting something to eat,” he waves, “See ya around, Alice.”
I sigh as he walks away, staring at the door in front of me. I’m not too sure if I want to be here this year, since of the incident before and the fact that I’m scared of the person who is going to be my roommate for the year. Sweat rolling down my cheeks, I knock on the door. I hesitate as the gruff voice invites me in. Taking a deep breath, I step into the room and close the door behind me.
To my surprise, I see Casey in the right seat. She seems to be in a bit of a daze because she’s just staring out a window looking stoned. I take a seat next to her, staring out the window.
Oh God, I beg in my mind, Please…PLEASE don’t let it rain.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Hi there, your ever-faithful Louis is here, to review this piece, as I have done with all the others, oh you may now be noticing an excessive use of commas, some in the wrong places.
This is the issue that is, in my eyes, most glaring throughout your piece. Unfortunately, though I'd love to, cannot give you a full sentence by sentence grammatical analysis. However I promise that when I have a laptop, I'll return to this and give you one. For now, read this out loud. It will sound awkward in some places, and those places are the places where proper grammar must be applied.
Also concerning grammar, the tense change was rather sudden and unexpected. See, I now realize your previous chapters were flashbacks. In your chapters you had introductions, which led me to believe Alice was remembering the past, while in the present. Your tense usage implied that, but no! It was all in the past! At this point you should allude to it somehow, and definitely get rid of your intro paragraphs. I had no idea they were flashbacks. That can't be very good, hmm? Considering your prologue, it's even more confusing. Editing must be made.
Now, concerning everything else. This chapter was fairly uneventful. You introduced the new girl, which will no doubt be of importance later on. You introduced the popular alpha bitch, which will also be of importance later on. You introduced a creepy lady, which I believe we have already encountered. I dislike a few things about each.
The new girl is from New York, but uses yeah at the end of a sentence, which is (stereo)typically a british thing. She also asks how smart Alice is, for no apparent reason, just as she met her. Who does that? It's odd in my eyes. She then promptly vanishes. Waaat?
The popular girl. So much untapped potential. Wouldn't an actual meeting with her be so much juicier? So much more drama, conflict. Conflict is good. As things are now, it's not really... anything. Not interesting.
Creepy lady is creepy lady. It was, like in your previous chapter, too sudden. Not enough buildup.
Once again, so much untapped potential. I encourage you to keep writing this, it could shape up to be quite good. Cheers
~Ita
Thanks again!
cool,i actually like this book,the plot,the setting,the imagination and everything,i think its cool,when the rain falls is also a suitable title,how i wish this book was in paperback then i could purchase it and read,because believe me you,its mindblowing,am going back now to see whats next and i hope it doesnt rain
Really?! Wow, thank you so much! I'm glad you like this story! I really am!
XD To be honest, I wish it did. I wouldn't mind if I ever met my other self.
^^ THANK YOU AGAIN!