Young Writers Society

What did this plagiarize?

O_O Removed for plagiarism?

It is ImHero here, and maybe I am not the best to review such a piece as I don't listen to music all to much anymore. Although, I will give you a review based on my introspection of poetic theory.

Firstly, the repetition of effect is right on the dot; "I wish I was," "Beside you," "I don't want to go," all has the same rhetorical effect. The reason, as you should already know, is to exemplify the speech or make it more important; and in this respect it devolves quite nicely. The way that it was done also adds alteration which is a must when writing lyrical rhythm.

Although, this song does little with personal experience. The best thing to do when writing poetry is to make a pseudo code in your head of what you are actually talking about. If you decide to do such you will find that all you are saying is "I want to go home because I keep thinking about you," and not, "When I was younger I contemplated to be a star but it got complicated as we grew up. I found you to be beautiful (ect.) and often times I debated about doing my dream. Although,..." In reality all I really ask for is detail in writing the song because it seems to be too simplistic and that it is sold on the merit of the background music instead of the integrity of its words.

With that said, I think this song is good as it is. I believe if you edge to a path of poetic feeling you take my advice and make the story detailed as it adds to feeling and itches at other peoples personal experiences in reference to relating to the audience. If you wish to see an example of how this is done read the lyrics and song of "when I was younger I saw" by Paramore. You will have to google it because I don't remember the name.

Anyways I hope this helps!

Your hero,
ImHero

Hmm.... This is cool!

I could hear it in my head (didn't listen to the video) and I liked how it flowed.

Maybe a little longer? Unless there's musical breaks, then otherwise no. It's really good overall, and I don't see any work that could be done to it in my opinion!

This was really cool, and a nice inspiration. Inspiration songs are the best!

Thanks,

pegasusgirl2

Hey! These are great lyrics! And you sound great, by the way!

This was really good! At first I thought this was a work of poetry, and I started to review it but then I went to look back at the first line and realized that it was indeed not poetry, but a song.

I have to say, being a lover of music and a part-time original singer/songwriter myself, this was one of the best that I've ever heard. You poured the right amount of emotion into this, and it's perfect. The plot you used was brilliant.

And let me just say that your band is amazing, and I was I could sing like that. This is how I feel about a certain someone in my life.

I've said this before, but it's perfect.

Although I do kinda feel like the ending is unfinished, and there should be another 'beside you' said there.

But it is amazing.

Peace Out!
HT

Wow... That was great! I mean I don't know how to you know... review music, so I guess this is just a comment. But anyways, I really liked this. I love music with a strong voice and a good picture and story. And your song had all three. ^.^ You're very good.
So umm... yea I guess that's it. If you have any other songs posted, leave me a message on my wall and I'll be sure to listen.