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Titanic Love Story

by borntoshop


Titanic Love Story

Katie Fields was only sixteen when she went aboard the great RMS Titanic. The ticket was a gift from her parents as an apology for not making it to yet another dance rehearsal. They told her that they would meet her at the harbor, awaiting her appearance with excitement when the ship was said to arrive in New York City. Katie felt as though her parents were always pushing her away places instead of pulling her in, though. They sent her to a prestigious boarding school with an eight hour flight between them and only sent for her on Thanksgiving, Christmas and, if she’s lucky, the occasional birthday. But most of the time she was hauled up in the boarders lounge with a good novel and a cup of hot cocoa on cold winter nights.

Even though setting foot onto the luxurious ship, with all the other unaccompanied teenagers, felt a little bit tainted with bribery, Katie couldn’t help but be wrapped up in the amazing atmosphere and how beautiful it all was.

Of course, her parents would have nothing less for her than to have her traveling on first class, so she was ushered along with all the other young men and women, all dressed to impress, towards the top half of the ship. As soon as she was able to break free of the crowd, Katie lifted the bottom of her long dress and made a ran for the railings. She jumped up on the first ledge and leant over to look far down below her at the scene that was accumulating.

Everybody was there to see the huge ships first voyage. Of course they would be, it’s the Titanic; the unsinkable ship. Katie felt somewhat calmed by that thought. She wasn’t the best of travelers and to have trust in this huge creation was the only thing that would keep her anxiety down for the few days.

She reached far out over the ledge and waved at the people below. The laughter and excited chatter from below, and behind her, filled her ears and made her stomach roll with anticipation.

A little girl in a pink dress appeared to her right with a bright orange balloon floating from some string on her wrist. She looked up at Katie with the same excited expression as she felt she had and gave her a little wave. Before she had time to respond to the little girl, a tall figure came and scooped her up in his arms and carted her laughing body away.

A large horn sounded from above and Katie looked about to see what was happening. Then she felt the sudden lurch and the loud chugging of the engine starting up. The chatter from around her heightened ten times and every person ran to the railings to wave away the people who couldn’t get tickets to attend the RMS Titanic’s first ever voyage.

âª

As an unaccompanied minor aboard the ship Katie was checked on regularly and she also had a curfew of ten o’clock. But for some reason she found her restless body carrying her out of her cabin at ten thirty on the first night, and walking down the quiet hallways. Even those were extraordinary and laced with golden patterns all they way down, and small chandlers as the only means of light source.

The crisp air rolled over Katie’s shoulders and clung to her bare skin. She shivered and scolded herself for not bring a cardigan to drape over her night gown. She frantically rubbed her hands together to try and gather some warmth in them as she made her way across the outside deck. The night was undoubtedly beautiful and nothing she had ever seen before. So, for that, she guessed she had her parents to thank.

“It’s a bit cold out for a casual stroll, isn’t it?”

Katie jumped and spun around when she heard a deep, accented voice speak to her. At least she assumed the words were aimed at her considering the fact that she was the only one around within a thirty meter radius.

A young boy sat on a metal bench in front of the railing. He had a small torch propped beside him and a notebook flung open on his lap with a pencil poised in it but made no movement towards the paper. In the dim light Katie could see he had very curly hair that would be defined as long but not nearly long enough to need a hair tie or clip. His shoulders were broad and his jaw well defined. But it was his eyes that seemed to light up just like the stars above him. Katie thought he was beautiful, which probably was a strange way to compliment a boy, much less a boy the same age as her, but she couldn’t help but only think of that adjective when she met his amused gaze.

“It’s a bit cold to be sitting out here drawing, isn’t it?” She responded as a blush made its way across her cheeks; she was glad for the darkness of the night that cascaded over them both.

“I guess you’re right there, miss.” He gave her a small smile and she felt herself move forward, as though he was the magnet, and she, the metal.

“What are you drawing?” Katie surprised herself by asking this question forwardly, “If you don’t mind my asking.”

The boy with the greenest eyes she had ever seen, held up his notebook and showed off the blank page, “Nothing yet, I’m lacking inspiration.”

“On this beautiful ship?”

“I know, it’s blasphemy.”

Katie giggled a little bit and the boy moved his torch down to the ground so she could take a seat beside him. She found her stomach tightening in pleasurable knots and the chills she had before had all but been forgotten. Although, the boy seemed to think her shaking was from the cold air. Katie watched as he shrugged himself out of his black dress jacket and then leaned across to drape it over her shoulders.

“I don’t want to be held accountable for letting you catch a cold.” He smiled and leant back against the chair and resumed holding his pencil.

“Thank-you.” Katie smiled down at her hands and tried not to make it obvious that she was secretly taking in whiffs of his intoxicating smell. His jacket smelt like soap mixed with a stale aroma of smoke which she presumed was from being down in the restaurant.

“What’s your name, night wanderer?” The boy spoke up again and when Katie looked up at him he was staring down on her with those beautiful green eyes of his, a small smile playing on his soft-looking lips.

“Katie, what’s yours?”

“Carson.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Carson.” She smiled at him and brought a shaking hand out to take his in greeting. He took it in both of his and brought it to his lips to give her hand a delicate kiss.

“As it is to meet you, Katie.” He grinned.

âª

Katie met Carson the next night at the same seat at the exactly the same time, even though she was breaking her curfew. She found out that Carson was onboard the ship with his parents and he was going to visit his brother who was home from the Navy. He told her that he is eighteen and wants to be like his brother but instead join the Army and fight for our country. And an obvious fact was that he is British, the accent could be a give away. Katie thought it had been impossible to like him any more.

“So, tell me, Katie, what brings you on this ship?” Carson asked after finally saying he was sick of talking about himself and adamant she had to start speaking. Katie sighed and leaned back so she could tuck her knees up under her. She had remembered to bring a jacket tonight, even though she would have loved to wear Carson’s again, and now she sat fiddling with the hem of the sleeves.

“It’s a present from my parents, well, more of an apology.” She admitted with some shame. Katie refused to look back at Carson who had know gone silent, but instead, leant her head right back on the metal seat and looked up at the stars. The clouds were some what restricting the view tonight and there wasn’t as many to be seen as the night before. But the ones they were managing to be seen were still beautiful in a dampened way.

“An apology for what?” Carson eventually asked.

“Not being there for me.” Katie shrugged and tried to keep the emotion from her quiet voice.

“Their loss.” He replied and when Katie turned her head to take in his expression, she saw he was softly smiling at her. His smile warmed her insides just as well as any hot chocolate could but it tasted better on the way down. Katie knew that she had only known Carson for less than a day, and only talked to him for a couple of hours, but she felt like she had known him for years, and wished that she had.

“Have you had any inspiration?” Katie asked to change the subject and resumed her position in staring up at the sky.

“I have actually, but you can’t see it until i’m finished.”

âª

On the third day of being on the RMS Titanic Carson arrived at Katie’s cabin and told her to grab her bathing suit and prepare for ‘the time of her life’. At first she was afraid to admit the fact that she couldn’t actually swim but when they neared the edge of the deep end of the pool, out of the way of the splashing toddlers and protective parents, and Carson threatened to chuck her in she had to come clean.

“I can’t swim!” She squealed right before Carson was about to drop her in the water. He stopped mid throw and pulled her back to his warm embrace.

“Good thing I’m a good teacher then, yeah?” He winked and carried Katie back down to the shallow end, much to her dismay.

At first she was reluctant and stood with the water brushing mid calf and her arms tightly bounded over her chest while Carson floated about a little way away from her. He tried calling her in deeper but she felt too humiliated by the fact that he was offering swimming lessons and stood there instead.

“C’mon, Katie! I promise I won’t let you drown.” He chuckled and she scowled and tightened her arms across her chest. A few parents looked at the two in amusement before looking back at their own children and making sure they didn’t drown.

After many more moments and lots of persuasion from Carson, Katie had only moved so the water was circling her thighs but Carson felt like this was a huge improvement, so he took his chances at going up to her and convincing her some more. He made his way to her and grabbed her arms that she had let fall to her side and gently tugged her forward. There was huge reluctance on her part and her eyes grew wide.

“Trust me.” Carson whispered firmly.

Katie held his hands tightly and walked further into the depths of the water. At first she found herself panicking and her chest constricted tightly as she found it hard to breathe but then she looked at Carson and felt herself slowly start to relax. He wasn’t panicking, so she shouldn’t be either.

They stayed in the pool for so long that their skin had shriveled up and almost become unrecognizable, until the sky was turning an electric orange and Katie partially knew how to swim.

Carson hadn’t given up on her even when she was ready to give up on herself.

âª


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Points: 721
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Sat Oct 12, 2013 12:52 am
sapphiredawson wrote a review...



Hello! I'm here for a review!

Love the storyline with Carson as Jack by the way!

Umm, well I think You should probably slow her feelings down for Carson just a notch because she was like already in love with him when she met him!

And I think her parents Probably would have gone with her with her being only sixteen and all...

Finally I think instead of calling Carson a "Young Boy" You should call him a "Young man' or "In his late teens" You know what I Mean because if you just call him like a Young boy it sounds like a seven year old! No offense.

Besides that I absalutley LOVED your story!




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Sun Apr 28, 2013 5:12 pm
niteowl wrote a review...



Hi borntoshop! Niteowl here creeping out from the poetry section to give this a look-see!

So as has already been stated, Titanic love stories are done a lot. That said, I found it fairly enjoyable, especially the bit at the end where he's teaching her how to swim.

Katie felt as though her parents were always pushing her away places instead of pulling her in, though. They sent her to a prestigious boarding school with an eight hour flight between them and only sent for her on Thanksgiving, Christmas and, if she’s lucky, the occasional birthday.


As somewhat of a historical nut, inaccuracies like this drive me bonkers. If you're setting something in a certain period, you have to be darn sure it fits. The first transatlantic flight wasn't until 1919, and it wouldn't become a widespread thing until at least the 1920's. This boarding school scenario might be more realistic, but I would do a bit of research.

Another thing was the bit about unaccompanied minors. Again, I'm not sure if this was common on the Titanic or what the rules were, but there's a lot of research on this ship so it shouldn't be too hard to find out. I'm inclined to think that at 16, Katie would be considered a woman, but again, I think more research is needed.

An aside about the bathing suit: Women's bathing costumes were much more elaborate and cumbersome. There definitely wouldn't be as much skin-on-skin contact.

Aside from being overdone, writing about the Titanic is difficult because there's certain historical standards. It's one thing to use artistic license in describing the past, but glaring omissions will not look good to your readers.

All that aside, I thought the story itself was enjoyable. If you place it into a better historical context I think it would be better. Keep writing! :)




borntoshop says...


Thanks for the feedback! I know, I thought the exact same thing about the flights and historic side of things. But this story was written just for me to read at first, and I wasn't worrying about the 'nitty gritty' details, because I just wanted to write a Titanic love story - unoriginal or not. :D All suggestions taken on board, though. (no pun intended xD)



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Sun Apr 28, 2013 3:51 pm



I think this a a very good peice of work. This is my first review so im not to sure what exactly to say, but when i was reading it, it seems to have a good plot and a very good story line.




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Sun Apr 28, 2013 12:05 am
StoneHeart wrote a review...



Okay, Black here for a review!

First, I must note: I don't really care that much for the whole 'Titanic love story' idea, I just plain don't like it.

But I really couldn't help but get a bit interested in this . . . It read easily, and I enjoyed it . . . That's important. Really: Sometimes I ask myself what's wrong with being all cliché when you still enthrall your readers? . . . So many people hate 'cliché' and unoriginality, but I think that if you can write an interesting story then it doesn't really matter . . . And this unoriginal story was interesting.

Grammar: Okay, so your grammar is, of this entire story, your biggest problem for sure. Your sentences really don't make sense, grammatically speaking. I mean, I can understand then and all, but they're not proper English and they don't mean what you want them too.

So, okay, here: I'll give you a few prime examples (To fix this problem though you're going have to carefully go over your story and find all of these - either that or get a nitpicker reviewer).

The boy with the greenest eyes she had ever seen, held up his notebook and showed off the blank page

All right, so I do love information filled sentences but this is over doing it. . . . Okay, so it's really hard to fix this, but here goes a possible alternative to this particular sentence 'the green-eyed boy (Put an emotion - smiled, laughed, grinned (etc.)) and held up the notebook, showing her the blank page'. Something that I, personally, really like to do when I'm proofreading my work (You should always proofread your work before posting it) is I like to read it out loud. I really seem to be able to find so many more problems with the writing that way!

Katie surprised herself by asking this question forwardly

Note now, both ends of this sentence are braced with dialogue! Now just do me a favor and read this sentence outloud to yourself . . . doesn't it sound a bit wrong? I mean, I can understand this sentence easily, but I have to take a second glance . . . No reader should ever have to do that. Sometimes it's best to cut a bit of information out of a sentence to fix it. Try 'Katie said, surprising even herself with her forwardness' . . . it's still not very good, but I think it is better.
Now these are just two examples, you have a LOT more . . . sorry . . . you need to fix them.

Plot: I have a couple words for this, interesting but unoriginal. Now originality matters a lot to me, it shows me how inventive a person is, how good they really are, but I still think (As I mentioned) that unoriginal stories can still be fun to read. Just a note in here, you need more general information in this story, you need life building up to this point and then maybe spreading out a bit more, it's a love story, you want to capture every moment. You might start with Katie in the boarding school, and then just edge along, slowly, and I think you'll do real well.

Theme: Okay, so the theme is really the theme of any love story. . . Really I'm into fantasy more than romance, but I can still appreciate romance. . . Right now I'm wanting a twist which will make this story something different . . . A good twist would come here, in the theme. XD, and I loved it how you described the theme in here! Maybe a bit more detail would be good?

Overall? You need to work on your grammar, put in more general information, and keep up the overall interestingness of this story!

Okay, so I'm going to say, nice work . . . keep it up for sure!

~Black~





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