Published April 10, 2013
The waves sigh as they slide onto the shore,
a sigh of weariness mixed with relief.
Travelers from far away,
they've but a brief respite
before their return to the world.
Grasses bend under the exhale of the wind,
bowing their backs under the strain.
The wind pauses for breath,
and the grass stands proud
until forced down yet again.
Mountainous dunes outline the sky,
standing strong and mighty.
Here for the moment until,
grain by grain,
they are scattered by time.
Sandpiper, on his long legs,
traverses the beach for food.
He darts towards the waters' edge,
finds a morsel,
then flees the coming tide.
A lone sentinel through the nights,
the lighthouse stands firm.
Ships look to him to guide, and,
with a blazing beacon,
he directs them straight and true.
The ocean has taught us that,
in the course of life, there are struggles.
But there is relief,
however fleeting,
and there is Light in the dark.
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141,299 Literary Works • 674,335 Reviews
Hey Ongo! I enjoyed this poem, it really brought beach imagery to mind. You did a good job characterizing different beach themes, like the waves, the lighthouse, and the sandpiper. Nicely done! Each individual stanza could have stood as its own poem to me. You are a very strong poet.
However, I feel like the overall theme was crammed into that last stanza, and not spread out so much through the entire poem. The end felt like it was trying to explain the poem to the reader. And like a joke, a poem isn't as enjoyable if you have to explain it. I gathered the meaning behind the poem from the poem, so the last stanza didn't feel necessary. However, it was just as well written as the rest of the poem.
I enjoyed reading your poem! You are very talented, keep up the good work!
Hi ongoeslife
I think this a beautiful piece of descriptive poetry. You capture the true beauty of a beach beautifully. I like your choice of words, as if they were each chosen individually ro make this poem beautiful. (I'm using the word beautiful to much aren't I?)
My favourite stanza was the second one, especially the last line of being 'forced to bow down.' I'd never seen it that way and a new point of view is usually interesting. I think the final stanza was a great summary to the whole poem. It was interesting how light was given a capital letter, although dark wasn't. It might not have been supposed to be there but it fits somehow.
It was a beautiful piece of descriptive writing. Keep on doing it.
Deanie x
Absolutely love this poem, it has great use of words. Another thing I loved about is that it used really good imagery, and really made it come alive. It gave a little picture in your head of the beach, and a lighthouse shining out to it. I thought it was great overall, and had no problems with it, keep writing them.
Hunter
This--is--amazing. I love your imagery and description, and the natural flow of your poem. Your word choice is inspired, and your punctuation is perfect, too. Really, the only thing I think I'd change is in the first line of the fifth stanza--I'd change the word "nights" to "night". That's literally the only thing I can find fault with.
For a title--what about "Sentinel of the Night"?
*tears up* I do believe that this is the first wonderful review I have received on a poem (or anything.) *sniffs* Thank you! (Okay, exaggerated emotions over.) But seriously-- thanks!
I debated the whole night/nights thing, too. The reason I settled on nights was because it gives the feeling that it's constantly there-- it's never not. (In my opinion. I COULD be weird, though...)
I like the title suggestion! I'm not sure I'd want to reuse 'Sentinel', though. I might archive it for later use,
Thanks again!!
~Sarah