Published April 4, 2013
Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.
The emerald green diary sitting on my bedside table seemed to stare at me. I picked it up, and ran my hand over its rumpled cover. I felt like a teenager again – a silly little teenager whose world revolved around homework and crushes, who was almost absolutely certain that half the people she knew were out to conspire against her. Those years had been crazy with sky-high ups and gloomy downs, and the only thing that had kept me sane through it all was this green diary sitting in my hands. It held my deepest fears, my most candid confessions, my most bitchy rants. It had captured my worst moments, and did an excellent job of portraying me as an incessantly whiny and constantly PMSing monster! And then, at the end of the summer of our last year in school, someone had stolen it. I thought I would never see it again.
And yet here it was, after all those years, the person who had stolen it had finally owned up tonight. It proved that all the memories that I had in my mind for so long were not just a result of my over-active imagination. It was evidence that those years were just as real as I remembered them to be, evidence that I had lived through them
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137,562 Literary Works • 672,043 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well, that was a rather honest statement to start off with there, this person kind of pointing out everything they think was wrong about them when they were writing this diary, but I do get the sense that there's a lot of nostalgia behind those words too, It does seem like someone trying to reminisce about a past that they preserved in that diary rather than a person that's actually blaming themselves for being a horrible person in some way...so, it is an interesting direction to be starting off with, and the whole theft of the diary part makes it a nice little mystery there to begin things as well.
Well, it didn't quite end in the vein that I was expecting it to, but it certainly wasn't a disappointing one. It just looks like we've got some different emotions working behind the scenes instead with this person just trying to think of the diary as proof for whatever they lived through, which makes it intriguing in a different way in that you wonder why this person would want the diary to confirm to themselves those years happened. At any rate, an intriguing start here, and it seems like a story that I would potentially read.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hey! Cgirl here to review!
1. Great job so far. I'm drawn into the story already even though it's just a prologue. The idea is great and makes the reader want to know more. Good job on that!
2. In the beggining I love the personification. Sometimes figurative language can do us all well in writing.
3. Like pegasusgirl2 said, there should be more detail about the diary. Maybe you can use figurative language again. For example, "The diary was as worn out as an old shirt" (bad example XD ).
4. Having the prologue be a bit short might be good. It made me want to immediately go to the first chapter.
5. Last sentence needs a period. Sorry if it sounds a bit nit picky.
Overall great job!
This is awesome! I thought it was wonderful and orginal! I want you to continue so badly. I would put in the title about that cuss. Other than that its awesome . I would like it if you would describe the cover, does it have a design? Is it written on? How do you feel, emotionally looking at it? Sad, happy, angry,joyful, depressed?
Oh, thank you! Appreciate it!
This is a really good start to a story!its very descriptive and that you learn a lot about the life of the character.It also kept my interest and I would really like to read more.well done!
thank you so much. I am glad you liked it.
This is a really good start for a story, and please continue with this! You created a really distinct place, and a good character to expand on. This diary is sounding really cool, too. I so have a ton of questions, and am impressed by how fast you can hook someone with just a couple paragraphs. And who is 'the person?'
Thanks a lot! I wasn't sure about this piece in the beginning, to be honest, but the encouragement on YWS sure helped. I've actually continued the story so I would love it if you checked it out.
Wow. This was good, every little word you use wraps the reader up in the story. I don't have a single complaint, great job and please keep writing!
Thank you!
Very interesting idea for a story. I rarely like things written in first person, only because I feel like most people can't pull it off, but you did a wonderful job with this.
I'd love to read more, because this leaves me a lot of questions.
Oh, thank you so much! I did post the next installment to this. I shifted to the third person POV though. Hope you check it out
oh my goodness this is absolutely beautiful! I love the description of the diary. It seems like the character was having a flashback. Try squeeze in a metaphor or a similie. I have nothing bad to say about this, I love this!
Awe thanks! I wasn't completely sure about it first but yay me! :p