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Gorbak the Gobux Chapter 5

by guineapiggirl


Chapter 5
Mook soon perked up once they got through the gates. Baluchinople was even more amazing than they'd heard claimed. All around them were buildings like palaces made of smooth marble. A procession of elephants, drums, lyres and Zananian dancers and acrobats passed them in the street. Girkom stared in amazement as the acrobats performed death defying tumbles while juggling, leaping from one elephant to another.
"What a welcome for us, ey?" Pook joked to Mook, who smiled at him. She was once again full of the hope she'd had when they'd left. She was staring in wonder at the fabulous fashions all the fine ladies were wearing.
"Ooooooh, look at that Nom's lovely hat! The one with all the mushrooms decorating it! Isn't it beautiful?" she squawked, pointing at the Nom. An elf's headress caught her eye, "Look at that trail, now doesn't it glimmer so? Oh, it's dazzling... And that woman's silks!"
Mook felt horribly aware of their own tattered rags. She noticed that the elf was looking at them disapprovingly and wanted to die.
"You will have all those fine clothes, and more!" Pook promised her, glad to see his Mook excited, alert and smiling properly for the first time in months. Impulsively, he gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Mook squeezed his hand.
The Gobiks continued wandering through the city for some hours, marvelling at the beauty of it all. Suddenly, dusk seemed to be all around them and they noticed the hunger in their bellies and the weariness in their feet.
"We'd better find somewhere to stay..." Pook said, looking around him. He realised that they had no idea where to go, who to talk to, where to find lodgings, where to get food...
They wandered around more, this time more frantically, looking this way and that, turning down side-streets, until they were completely out of the grand area in the middle of the city and in what looked like a different world.
Leaning buildings with holey makeshift patched roofs stood with just a metre between their front doors. Filthy tramps lay in the doorways of some of the more ramshackle, now deserted, slums. Pook shivered as one, a gobux who was nothing but skin and beak, with both his legs missing, reached out an arm.
"One coin... Please."
"I have none." Pook told him, backing away, frightened and embarrassed. This area of the city was worse than their cliff. The poverty the people were living in shocked him. How was it that, just a few streets away, there were fine lords and ladies in great marble palaces, yet here they had no warm place to sleep and nothing to eat? Pook was scared. He had been sure they would end up, if not quite so much as those in the marble palaces, rich in the city, but now he feared that in a year's time, he might be lying in a doorway like that poor gobux back there.
"Pook, it's late." Mook whispered. She felt too uncomfortable to speak loudly in this place where a pair of haunted, yearning eyes stared out from every nook and cranny, "We're not going to find anywhere tonight. Let's just... Settle down here."
Pook looked away, ashamed that he was unable to provide a bed for his Mook and goblets. Mook, however, walked over to a nearby step, checked it was definitely empty and then sat down. She cuddled three of the goblets to her.
"Come on," Mook smiled, beckoning Pook, "If we huddle, we'll be able to keep warmer."
Pook joined her. Mook lay her head on his shoulder. Pook sighed, "I promise, this is just for tonight. Tomorrow, we'll sort it all out. Our new life starts tomorrow."
Pook said these words every night for the next three weeks when he returned to that same step. He spent his days searching for work; work in one of the palaces, work in a shop, work in an alehouse... He soon realised that no self-respecting person or establishment was going to hire a gobux. He started looking for work in one of the city's hundred or so factories, where most of the gobuxes worked sixteen hours or more a day at some mindless task for a copper.
But all the factories had quite enough over-worked, starving gobuxes, thank you very much, now be on your way please, and no-one wanted to employ Pook.
"No luck." Pook said to Mook once again after a long day of walking from factory to factory, pleading and petitioning the fat owners with more money that they knew what to do with.
"Tomorrow... Tomorrow you'll find something." Mook said.
"I will." Pook promised, just like every night before. The words were empty now.
"Yes." Mook agreed, but she did not believe it.
They were silent while Mook handed Pook and each of the goblets a lump of raw potato. She gave an extra piece to little Gernpuk, Girkom's littermate, who was weaker than the others and ailing with the lack of nourishment.
Pook did not ask where Mook had got the food from, with no money. He hated to think how low his family had stooped that his Mook had to steal for a mouthful a night.
"Pook..." Mook murmured, as she handed over his bit of potato.
"Mook?" Pook asked, anxious. There was something in her voice...
"I'm with another litter."
Pook gasped. He stared at her, shocked. It had been two years since she'd last had a litter and they'd all died within moments of being born. He had thought that they were past the age of producing children; that these five who starved now were all they would be left with. He was happy, of course he was happy. He squawked with pleasure, leapt on Mook and pecked her cheeks, her forehead, pecked her firmly on the beak, folded her up in his wings and cried tears of pride and joy.
Once he had finished his initial outburst he sat back, smiling so hard at Mook that his beak ached. It was only then that he realised that Mook was not smiling. She was sobbing softly. He realised how weary and desperate she looked.
"Mook, aren't you happy?"
"Happy about what?" she asked, staring at him with eyes without hope, "That my goblets will be born on to the street, to die of starvation and cold? How can we hope to feed newborns when we can't even feed ourselves?"
All Pook's joy was gone within an instant. How could they? Of course the goblets would die. They would lose yet more of their children.


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158 Reviews


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Mon Mar 11, 2013 11:35 pm
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Veeren wrote a review...



Yup, back again.

Spoiler! :
they'd heard claimed.


Maybe it's just me, but this sounds weird.

Spoiler! :
"Ooooooh, look at that Nom's lovely hat!


We typically don't use so many letters to stretch out a word, if we ever do so at all. Usually about three is the limit. After that, it's just like 'We get the point'.

Spoiler! :
She noticed that the elf was looking at them disapprovingly and wanted to die.


You make it sound like the elf wanted to die.

Spoiler! :
and no-one wanted to employ Pook.


This seems out of place, maybe make it a new sentence?

Spoiler! :
"I'm with another litter."


AKUSIUGIEUGOU. Sorry, that's the first time a piece on this site ever shocked me like that. Heh, nice twist >.<

The rest was fine.
You sure know how to write a sad great story gpg :D You get better with every post and I'm loving how the story is progressing. Keep up the great work :D




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Wed Mar 06, 2013 11:10 pm
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StoneHeart wrote a review...



Okay, another good chapter, though rather depressing.

I like to end a chapter with a bit of hope, though, granted, I don't always.

Ah, again, your world, it needs work, I want to know details. History. People info.

And you practically skipped three weeks . . . ? I really hate it when writers do that (My stupid perfectionista writing habits don't allow it), no matter how necessary it really is!

But, good work, you are really nice and consistent with your characters and world, I love it! It's something I feel completely incapable of doing.

Your grammar, again, is quite nice, though it does have a couple of spots.

I like the way your story makes me feel all grimy&gobliny! It's nice, and unique. Really, if there's anything like this out there then let me know! Cuz I've never heard of it.

Your idea seems rather dreary still however. I mean, you want your main characters to be important, to really put a dint in the world. Especially in a fantasy. I mean, tell me of a fantasy where the main character is a school boy, and stays a school boy.

Thank, PJATO, Percy saves the world (a number of times), HP, Harry is one of the most famous wizards of all time!

That's just a couple of examples, and one of the things that make those stories so famous is the fact that the characters aren't just nobodies.

And, no offense, Pook and Mook both seem to be pretty un-important without much options.

Don't back yourself into a corner!

Good luck & Happy writing.





Irrigation of the land with seawater desalinated by fusion power is ancient. It's called 'rain'.
— Michael McClary