Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

First Impression: Well..this was quite an interesting conclusion to that earlier part of the story...gonna see I totally did not see this coming which is quite interesting to say the least.

Anyway let's get right to it,

Waiting is not to everyone’s practice, some have an ability to wait forever -and still call it a minute. Others struggle with their time, impatiently hurrying through their day. This man was one where minutes seemed shorter, and hours never seemed like days. His whole life had been played out as though it was too short for him, and what he had done on earth was obviously not enough; only now was he realising that he had not done what he was meant to do -standing on the edge of this stange land.

"I'm warming up." He said. Suddenly. "Why am I warming up, am I"

"You still have a conection to your body on earth, they're probably putting you somewehere warm." I said, already knowing what was going to happen. "Did you say you were being cremated?"

"Wha?!" Shock and confusion spreasd over his face, as he slowly span round towards me.

"Are you being cremated?"

"Haven't really thought about it much, why would it matter?" Pausing, he muddled out the truth. "Is that why your still here?"

"When I can feel that someone is not staying here long I stay with them."

"What happens to the cremated?"

I looked down and didn't speak. Not wanting to say that the souls are the feul for the fire. This man had plenty of feul and he knew it. I just kept the humans who still had their body attached to their soul; like this man.

Hello and Happy Review Day! I like this part of your story just because it reminds me a lot of the recent Doctor Who episodes? Have you seen them? If you haven't I suggest you do; they'll probably give you some extra inspiration for this.

I like the whole storyline, especially how the souls 'fuel the fire'. That's very clever. You do have some grammar problems, though they're small and will be easy to fix.

I won't review the first paragraph, as Wolfie has done a good job covering that.

they're probably putting you somewehere warm."

"Is that why your still here?"

You were supposed to let me know when the next part was out, silly! Anyway, here I am to review! Hopefully you'll find my recommendations helpful.

an ability to wait forever -and still call it a minute.

"Why am I warming up, am I"

Shock and confusion spreasd over his face

as he slowly span round towards me.

Here I AMM To EDIITTT ! where's the discribition in th room. I like hows this is going but it needs more detail. I got lost and i forgot who was who. Matter of fact forgot who was talking.. i like it'd the part part where you where like
" I just kept the humans who still had their body attached to their soul; like this man."
I just think is a run on sentence but i like it

This seems like a great idea, but towards the end it gets a little confusing. Has the man died yet? Is he stuck in the inbetween? Is he talking to God? Who keeps the humans? should I read part one first? Would that answer my questions?