Young Writers Society

Evelyn,

On Monday, it will be three years since we stopped being friends. Three years will have come and gone without us saying as much as a word to each other. A part of me wishes that I didn't care so much, that I didn't miss you, but the truth is, I think the part of me that cared about you, will always care, because its the same part of me that misses you, and I keep telling myself that its okay that we're not friends anymore, because I've met and made friends with so many amazing people in the past few years; but deep down, it not okay. You were one of the first friends I ever made, Evie, and the knowledge of how easily our friendship demised is something I don't think I'll ever get over.

We didn't fall out. We didn't drift apart. One day we just stopped being friends. Just like that.

So you can imagine my surprise, when today, I walked into the cafe and found you there. I guess it never occurred to me that once upon a time it was your favourite cafe too. To be honest I didn't even notice you at first; I was too preoccupied with getting in out of the rain and talking to Fraya, the pink haired barista who has known us since we were nine years old. To be honest, when I got to our seat, for a second I thought I was seeing things. I mean, it wasn't you I thought I could see, it was a younger you, you on the day we first discovered the place that would soon become our own personal haven, hidden away from all the drama that somehow surrounded us back then.

It took me a good five minutes after I'd sat down before I realised that you were really sitting there, and a good ten to realise you were talking. You weren't talking to me, but at me, rambling nervously like you always used to. You were talking about having gotten lost, like we had done that day, before you realised that you knew where you were all too well, and that you'd hoped I'd be here.

"I haven't seen you in ages"

Three years ago, a few words would have solved everything. Somehow three years later, a few words just aren't enough. Its only been three years, yet already its to little to late. I mean, just because I say that I miss you, doesn't mean that I want you back in my life. It means that I miss having someone I was that close too. Someone who knew me almost inside out. Someone who always knew exactly what I was trying to say.

Do you remember when we were little, how everyone used to say that we would find ourselves someday? I did. I found myself alone. When I really needed you, you weren't there. Even if we did have that conversation, it wouldn't change anything. Not now. After everything that has happened these last few years, I'll never trust you again. I wish I could, but you've changed so much, that I don't even know who you are any more. I don't miss you. I miss the girl who was my best friend. The girl who would do just about anything for the people she cared about. The girl who didn't care about stupid boys, and how she looked and what people thought. Its like that song. That song by Goyte. Now you're just somebody that I used to know.

Except, now you're just somebody that I no longer wish to know.

Love

         Ida