Young Writers Society

I don't think I've ever read a poem about gender identity. Kudos to you for tackling something like this!
The way the word "it" was small and grey did annoy me somewhat, because the poem was harder to read at first (I have bad vision). But once I got over that, I was able to appreciate the meaning behind the poem.

We need more poets who are willing to stand up for what they believe in, however controversial.

Hello, queerelves! I'm emeraldfox, representing Team EarthBenders this Review Day!

I loved this poem! You showed exactly how it would feel when a human being with feelings, thoughts, opinions, and words is demoted to a lifeless object by a simple word. We should all be mindful of anyone's gender identify and respect that, using pronouns that they prefer. Just because someone isn't a boy or a girl doesn't mean they are any less human. You put this idea into a beautiful poem. You didn't have any grammar, punctuation, spelling, or capitalization errors. I loved the formatting and font choices for this poem.

The only thing I would change is to make the word "it" a little bit darker. Still not as dark as the rest of the poem, but I could barely read it because it was so faint. But I suppose that actually is a good thing. The lighter and smaller font added to the meaning of the poem a lot.

This was such a well-written poem. You conveyed the ideas of a topic that isn't often written about into a simple, yet powerful poem. And bonus education points for including lesser-known pronouns such as xe! You definitely deserve a like for this amazing poem!

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Hello! I like the basic thought of the poem and that highlighting of 'it' everywhere.It makes it look more attractive.It's a nice yet simple thought.But, it's seems more of a kind of listicle to me.Use more names of objects an extend it further.

It's short and good.I like the crumpled piece of paper thing, it conveys quite a deep meaning.I think you need to work upon the end of the poem.It's way too simple to me.Try to convey your best thought at the end of the poem to leave the reader thinking about your poem.I think some exclamation marks could help to make it better.Keep it up and keep writing.

Hello, queerelves!

I appreciate this poem and what it stands for. That being said, I think the execution could use a little tweaking.

You could use more/different examples of inanimate objects. Perhaps ones that also convey a negative feeling. I like the crumpled piece of paper route, but take that further.

The second stanza isn't doing it for me. It's very listy, which is sometimes all right, but I don't think you need so many of the qualities listed here. I enjoy "no feelings" "no voice" and "no value" but the rest of them say a lot of the same things as those three sum up.

I suggest you word stanza four a bit differently. I feel like the first line is a little awkwardly worded; the piece talks about it, and when the line begins with "you," it brings a second person into it suddenly. I also like the repetition in the rest of the stanzas that start with "it" until the last stanza, where the reversal creates a nice bit of tension. Perhaps you could say "it is thrown away when used up" instead. I also like the used up part; even if something isn't really used up, it gives a tired feeling to it.

I like the end of the poem. It's a little more straightforward than I would write it, but poetry has to have variety in it, or we would all have boring poetry.

I hope that this review proves helpful to you! Keep poeting!

I like the way you formatted this, but I agree with the reviewer below, your direct message seems quite confusing, while I know what you're saying, the way you ended it, leaves it to wrong interpretation.

I think that you're saying that when people are treated as an "it", they have no value and no voice, no opinion or feelings, they are treated in such a way.

And if that is the case I'd suggest changing the last stanza to

Until, he, she they, xe become an "it".

Why become, become is something that can happen without choice, through external force. When you turn into something it is more likely you influenced that change, rather than if you become something it's more likely someone else influenced the change. Honestly I'm not sure if it's that different "turn into" and "become" but I do think that you need to come up with another way to end this poem, other than that I thought it was a great poem.

I really love your imagery, it's wonderful. x)

Keep writing and dreaming.

Aouther2b is back to review (i haven't been on in a while so I'm back, and what a great way to return)! This piece is very good! It needs work, and I'll get into that, but it is really good. So here is the review!

What I liked:

1. Format. Its unique and very creative how you use the font style, getting larger as you end the piece, as well as making "it" a lighter color.

2. The way you presented the issue. I like how you wrote this piece in general. Its not choppy and it has a certain way of making me think without realizing it. You almost allow the reader to define "it" for themselves. Great job!

What I didn't like:

1. Obvious one for me is "xe". I don't know what that is supposed to be, or mean. I would probably want an explanation, unless it's a typo, in that case make sure you look over your piece.

2. Vague. While I think this piece has a great meaning, its very vague. Some will love it because it means that they can interpret what it means, but for me I personally don't know exactly what "it" is, and I'm not sure what you had wanted "it" to be. I get why "it" is such a big deal, but not so much why you feel that. Work on clarity in your piece.

Overall:

Great piece with an awesome message, even if I'm not 100% sure what it was. Keep on writing!!