Young Writers Society

The House of Dracula

CAST OF CHARACTERS

Listed by Appearance

Narrator……………………………………………. Christopher Lee or Patrick Stuart

Dracula……………………………………………... Y’all should know this dude. Age. 40

Claudius……………………………………………. Grandson of Dracula: Age. 13

Ludwig……………………………………………… German Vampire dude: Age 32. 

Lincoln Van Hellsing.......…….………..……….Vampire Hunter Age. 31

Bram Stoker……………………………………… He wrote the book. Age. 167.Dead.

Armin Vambery…………………………………. Hungarian dude. Age 182. Dead.

Deaf translator……………………………..…… Deaf. Age. 177. Dead.

Philip………………………..………………………. Lincoln’s best friend Age. 27 Cockney

Bennet …………...............…………………… German Vampire Dude: Age 35. 

Chorus…………………………………………........ Don’t know why their here…

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ACT 1 SCENE 1

Narrator: (curtains are closed) Hello and welcome to this play of House of Dracula. I would thank you taking the time to read this awful excuse of literature but I assume that most of you spend your lives doing useless things anyway like wasting away at a nine to five job, raising four incredibly loud and rude children, whilst dealing with possibly that your father switched you at birth because you were ugly. I’m only here because I was paid to. Now this guy walking on stage is Claudius. He is the grandson and last of kin to Dracula. Well he’s a mischievous…oh shit! Forgot this. Give me a sec…

(Loud construction noise and the sound of a duck quack. As chorus starts curtain raises.)

Chorus: (dressed in church cloak thingies) Time is Modern World at Dracula’s Castle on the Romania coast of the Black Sea. A boy named Claudius looks out the window of his room to a calm sea. Utterly bored.

Narrator: Where was I? Oh right, Claudius. Well he’s a mischievous boy of about 100 years old who is bored of being locked up in the castle like a princess and being guarded by his overly protective grandfather Dracula. And yes I mean the real deal; Dracula, this guy is totally bitch’in, like seriously. Anyway his poor little grandbaby only wants friends but Dracula is a recluse and possibly racist to humans.

Claudius: (from the window) Another day in this life in the house of Dracula, nothing to do, no friends to talk too…(sighs). If only I could escape from his magic force field. Just outside these walls live better tasting humans, vampires I can make friends with, and Wi-Fi!

(A crow caws and lights suddenly go out)

Chorus: (starts evil and suspenseful chant)

Claudius: Oh no HE is coming! (Hides his huge escape plan poser off the wall. Poster has crayon drawing of him tunneling under the force field with a spoon.)

(Dracula enters dramatically swishing a cloak) (Chanting stops)

Dracula: Was that scheming I hear!?

Claudius: Grandfather! You accuse me of scheming!? Your own undead flesh and cold blood planning to escape! Why! (Exaggerated gasp) I’m heart broken!

Dracula: You suck at lying. (Sigh) My dear grandson, (Sits next to Claudius) it is dangerous to leave here. You are not strong enough to fight what lies beyond my protective shield. Just the other day I heard the people mocking our kind with that monstrosity called Twilight.

Claudius: Then we could out together! I’ll be safe cause no one can beat you!

Dracula: One hundred years ago, that Hellsing man almost did. I don’t feel as immortal as I was back then. Plus that damned guy who wrote a book about my weaknesses, even my garlic allergy and me! (Shakes fist) The masses are educated now. Even the poor and the woman! It’s sickening. The women even wear pants!

Claudius: Right…(embarrassed of his grandfathers “old way” of thinking) we should at least try to reunite our kind! We are an endangered species Grandpa…

Dracula: Humans want us eternally dead! They will never stop. They fear greater beings then themselves.

Claudius: Like how you fear women?

Dracula: Yes! (Pause) Wait! No! It’s the like with the witches in the dark days. They were executed like pigs during the hunts because humans were afraid of their magic. We vampires are considered worse because not only do we have magic but also we must survive by drinking the blood of their kind.

Claudius: But online...

Dracula: (interrupts) Of course! The Internet. That’s where you get these ludicrous ideas.

Claudius: I just want to go on adventures; I mean you went all the way to England. You once told stories of how different people taste.

Dracula: (looks at his grandson with pity) …when you’re about 200 years older. (Pats Claudius shoulder as the sunrises) Ah, I talk too much in the early hours. The sun rises and I’ll be in my room watching Americas Next Top Model. Brush your fangs before you sleep, and good morning. (Leaves)

Claudius: Good morning…(sad)

(Waits for door to shut and speaks to self) I’m sorry Grandpapa, but I’m leaving right now. (Stands up with sudden confidence) That’s it! I’m going to leave and make some real friends and not just the ones on my Facebook page! (Packs things and puts on sunscreen and leaves a note) He wouldn’t notice I’m gone till evening…(self talk) I’ll will be home soon Grandpapa. I’m off to see the world~ (Puts on hood with a big smile, takes plans, and leaves stage.)

(Montague of Claudius traveling Europe while narrator speaks.)

Narrator: Now you’re all probably wondering how a thirteen-year-old vampire boy is going to survive in his quest for finding friendship, also while going out in broad daylight. First, chill out you saw him put on sunscreen. Second, he has a smartphone, this isn’t the dark ages people. And third he has a big heart. Just kidding, he stole a bunch of his grandpa’s money and used map quest. See? Easy as pie.

However you can imagine the poor baby’s nerves having to go through the troubles of currency exchanges, hiding the bodies of his food, the French, and his new discovery of seasickness. Not to mention the challenges of having to find real vampires, and not just crazy posers. He was in London by the time he thought to ask for some help.

Claudius: Why don’t you help me? (Shouting and looking up)

Narrator: Wait, you’re asking me?

Claudius: Well yes, you do know the entire plot.

Narrator: Oh, well, it’s just that no one ever notices me...

Claudius: That’s nice, want to help me?

Narrator: Always narrating, never really in the show.

Claudius: Are you going to help me or not?

Narrator: Oh right, check a blood bank or a Red Cross hospital. But seriously, why can’t I have I real part?

Claudius: (ignores question.) Thank you! (Happily trots away.)

Narrator: I’m talented I swear...

Chorus: Claudius goes to a hospital! Where he finally finds a friend!

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