Young Writers Society

Hello there! I haven't read your other reviews, so I run the risk of repeating what they've said. That said, let's dive right into this.

I find this poem very interesting, because it's rather vague, but at the same time it portrays a very certain sense of anger and frustration with the world - at least for me, haha. It's definitely something that different readers can read extremely differently, which is an interesting approach in the world of poetry, especially since most poems - free verse or otherwise - depend on the reader's interpretation, and they try to shape the reader's interpretation through their imagery.

As a result, having a poem with such limited imagery is strange in a refreshing sort of way. You begin with the avalanche, and you carry that through in a progressive way, staying true to the title of the piece more than anything. I do think that there may have been some benefit in elongating it a little and giving the reader a little more, but that's all I really have to say on that front.

I do enjoy the way you vary your style and structure from the italicized portion to the non-italicized portion, going from longer, flowing lines to the more abrupt and punctuated statements that are treated as fact in the context of the poem itself. I think it could have been emphasized in another sort of way, but I'm not sure how else - I'm personally a fan of differentiating with italics and non-italics, but this piece feels like it's... missing something big between the two parts.

Overall, very little critique on this piece. I think that as far as poetry goes, it could have a bit more detail with the imagery and the emotion, but it's got a solid concept and solid execution. Keep writing!

this composition is short and bold with a capital b one should indeed have the courage to say no to the torments when they become intolerable.and make sure it is properly heard.

Hi there, LGF here for a quick review.

WOW

That was pretty much my first thought. It was unexpected poem, and I just randomly clicked on it and was mind blown. It was really interesting, the meaning behind it (if any) and the way you structured it so that every word counted.

I also liked how you didn't use excessive grammar, because that can halt the flow of poems and reduce us to just thinking about commas and full stops.

to create an avalanche
scream
whether it's "no" or "leave"

scream as loud as you can.

I really liked how you seperated the last line and used italics, because it seperated it and added more meaning to the line. Great start, it really set the poem out.

to make it effective
make sure there are people there
five to ten people is the right amount

take others down.

have punctuation.

make sure you survive.


I liked how you almost formatted into instructions, as if you'd been through it yourself and where instructing another person how. Again, the italics was perfect to enhance meaning.

Overall I thought this was a really, really good poem. The elements all merged beautifully and it flowed well.

Keep up the good work;

LGF

lol yyyyoooouuuuuuuu

Hello time for a review. I knowticed your a newbie to this site like me so hears some tips. Always write like your most ferosious english teacher is going to grade your every mistake. It helps develope better skills trust me. And always try to learn at least one new word for each writing you do. For this poem I would go back and first correct all the punctuation mistakes. Then I suggest adding a few more line and replacing novice words for more experienced writters words. Theres no such thing as too much improvment so keep going. ~ OuO

Hello, Dillbert.

This is lovely. I really don't have much to say in the way of criticism.

I like that you made the choice to have "scream" on its own line. It makes the scream important, and since it's on the second line, really sets the tone for the poem.

The pressure that builds up often behind many situations often culminates in a one word burst of sound, as you have illustrated in your third line. I have often felt the need to let a word explode from me in times of high tension (such as the conditions needed to be able to create an avalanche with a loud noise).

I see that you keep all of the italicized sentences punctuated at the end. I really like the consistency, but perhaps you should reexamine the choice you made to put a period at the end of the first italicized line because it leads into another sentence. I honestly can't make a decision to say "take it out" or "leave it in" because of the consistency and the way it still connects with the next line even though you've made it a full stop.

I like that you specify the amount of people needed there. It brings the poem back to the non-fiction-article-like title because it specifies something you need, as if it was an ingredient.

In the second to last line, I believe that you should use "use" instead of "have" unless you're really attached to the have there. It would be more grammatically correct. Unless you are talking about punctuation as if it were a more hefty thing, like a weapon? in that case, I'd elaborate on that a bit more.

Altogether, this is really lovely. I look forward to reading more of your poetry. I hope that this review proves useful to you! Happy poeting!

You just put yourself on my radar.

Holy crap (will be back with adequate review later). Lovely.