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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
Well, there's not a lot to work with here so I'll go through this the normal way I review things.
Grammar & Wording
The grammar is completely on point. Not a comma, period, or space put in the wrong place.
As far as wording you word choice is a bit... limited the only word in fact is the title "Deleted" and then your selection of "Short Story: Science Fiction, Romantic" for the genre. I'd like to see more words as it makes it easier to understand a piece but I guess a piece of literary work without any words is rather ironic.
Format
Well there's nothing here I can critique as far as format.
Overall Impression
My overall impression is that this is a work that once was something else and then was deleted which is sad because maybe it had potential to be the best work ever written and now... it's gone!
I think the Genre choice of "Short Story: Science Fiction AND Romantic" is a really compelling combination, so I hope you do choose to pursue something in this line of thinking again.
Best of luck in your future works and have a marvelous day!!
~alliyah
XD thanks. I deleted this because I was entering a competition and I got something wrong on how to do it. So this wasn't needed. The edited version is called 'he's so typical' if you want to know what it's about. I actually deleted this so no one would comment on it xD lol. But oh well. Thanks anyway!
Ha, thanks for clearing that up.
No problem;)
Opps, I accidentally pressed enter before I could type anything so sorry for the blank comment!
Anyway, I'm here to write a review for you!
First things first i have to say I really liked this. Of course, having not been edited there are some areas that can be improved. Adding more detail is some parts would make it more interesting and more enjoyable to read. And this is just my opinion so you are free to disregarded it, but it seems to me like she changed her mind a little too quickly. It would be more believable if she hesitated more before deciding he might not be so shallow after all. As far as grammar goes, the only mistake I saw was that you put 'original' where it should have been 'unoriginal."
All in all, a great short story!
Keep writing!
Thanks, LittleFox!!