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Asenath:Tears on the Sand Chapter 15

by Aravis10


XV

Asenath’s newfound bliss lasted about… two weeks. But she found, as many married couples find, that her spouse was not perfect.

One of his faults, other than his ridiculous devotion to his God, she found at a party the Pharaoh’s house. The party was merry and lively. That was until one man differed with Joseph’s opinion of a subject. Soon, a heated debate started. Joseph was red-faced and yelling. Pharaoh sat back lazily to watch the scene. Even some of the women got involved. Asenath was embarrassed, knowing that her husband had started it all over a petty comment.

After the dinner, in their room, Asenath approached her husband. “Joseph! What were you thinking?”

“What do you mean?”

“You started a fight and embarrassed me!”

“Ridiculous! It was just a discussion.”

“Why do you always have to argue?”

“Argue! I just have an opinion that I share!” Joseph protested.

“Sometimes… it’s better not to share an opinion.”

“Take your own advice!”

Asenath replied by staring at him with a stony expression.

Joseph stared back for a moment, then broke from her gaze. “I…I’m sorry, Asenath. Sometimes I get so angry, and I can’t admit that I’m wrong. Forgive me?”

That’s the good thing about him. After a fight, he always makes up. Even… when it is my fault…

“Yes. I love you too much to not forgive you. Forgive me as well?”

“Yes, my love.”

Often, he was plagued with worry. One day, after a stressful day of work, he came home dejected and tired. “Asenath, the storehouse near the Nile delta flooded! And some of the farmers are protesting to the one-fifth tax for the famine. They don’t believe.”

“Come, husband. Let me help. I can talk to some of the farmers.”

“That would be a relief.”

“And, I’m not too bad with architecture. May I see the blueprints?”

Joseph handed them to her and groaned. “There is no way all this will be done by the first year of famine! Why are you even helping me? You don’t even believe in this famine!”

“You’re right, I don’t. But, you are my husband. I see the problem. This floodgate should be facing the other way since the Nile runs north.”

He came over and hesitantly looked at the design. Then, he smiled and slapped his leg. “What a fool I was! Asenath, if you were a man, you could have been vizier!”

“Nonsense. You are the leader and organizer. I have a hard time keeping our storeroom organized! If it weren’t for Msrah, the whole place would be chaos.”

He smiled wider. “You cheer my spirits. Elohim has blessed me profoundly!”

Elohim again. I might think that he loves his God more than me.

The one thing that annoyed Asenath the most was that every morning Joseph was never in the room.

Where could he be?

She asked Oni about it.

“My lord Zaphenath-paneah goes to the old harem for an hour each morning. A guard stands at the door all day. No one knows what he does in there.”

The old harem? He’s betrayed me! I was foolish. No man can live for long with just one wife.

She marched defiantly to the door of the old harem. A guard stood there, just as Oni had said.

When he saw Asenath, he bowed low, but did not move otherwise.

“Step aside,” Asenath commanded.

“I’m sorry, my lady, but no one is to go in. Master Zaphenath-paneah’s orders.”

She snorted. “I will wait for him to come out then.”

A cunning man, but I will not stand for him cheating on me behind my back.

Finally, Joseph emerged. “Asenath, you are up early!”

“”Joseph! I…I am aghast! I trusted you, and you repay me by sneaking off to… to… the harem! While I’m asleep!”

“Asenath, dearest! I would never betray you!”

“Really? Then how do you explain this?”

“I transformed the harem into a place to worship Elohim. He is the most important person in my life so He deserves the first hours of my day.”Joseph was hurt, but his eyes told the truth.

But, this did not cool Asenath’s wrath. “Elohim! I’m sick of all this about Him! I’m fine that you believe this stuff, but why can’t you just keep your beliefs to yourself? And He is the most important person in your life! What about me?”

“I love you, but Elohim is my Creator and the Captain of my destiny. And yours.”

She spit. “No He is not. And even if He is, all He has given me is sorrow and pain!”

“But He has a plan to use all that for your own good. He has shown that many times in my life.”

“You cannot have known pain like I have known.”

“I would disagree. If you would allow me, I can tell you my story to prove it.”

Asenath was curious. In her flurry of love sickness, she somehow forgot that he was once a slave. “Tell me.”

“Let’s walk through the gardens while I tell you. Hmmm. Where to begin? Well, I grew up in Canaan, the son of a very wealthy sheep owner named Jacob. Jacob had four wives, and I am the eldest son of his favorite wife, Rachel.”

“I don’t believe it! You are a Canaanite.”

“Well, not exactly. I’m a Hebrew, a descendant of Abraham.”

“Abraham? I think I have heard of him.”

“Yes. He was my great grandfather. When I was a child, there was always an unspoken rivalry between me and my ten brothers. When I was thirteen, my mother died giving birth to my only full brother. I was now my father’s especially favored son. I was spoiled and proud. But my brothers humored me. That was until I heard about them cheating people when they were selling wool. I, of course, told my father who became angry at my brothers and loved me all the more. He even gave me a robe that looked like it was made for a king, not a shepherd. My brothers grew jealous and hated me.”

“That is somewhat understandable.”

“Maybe, but not right. It got even worse when I told them two dreams I had about my brothers and my parents bowing to me. Their envy brewed until one day, when my father sent me to check on them, they hatched an evil plot. When I reached them, they beat me, tore off my robe, and threw me into a deep, but dried up cistern. Though I called and pleaded, they stopped their ears. After an hour, they drew me out. I thought that I was saved, but no. They sold me to Ishmaelites for twenty silver coins! Deep anger, resentment, and bitterness sprang up as I watched my brothers divvy out the coins while I was pulled away. During the two weeks in the desert, I was reminded of Elohim. He forgives without holding back. I was alos reminded that anger and bitterness had motivated my brothers. I did not want to be like them. So, in the scorching sun of the wilderness, I chose to forgive.”

“Forgive,” Asenath whispered.

“Well, I was sold as a domestic slave to Potiphar, the captain of the guard. WE met him at our wedding feast if you remember. It was hard. The hardest thing I had ever done. Slaves, as you know, are not treated… courteously. And I started at the very bottom, washing feet. That definitely taught me humility! I began to move up in the ranks, but I never abandoned Elohim or defiled him by worshipping idols. Amazingly, people actually respected me for that. Potiphar soon noticed that I worked hard and did my best. He even promoted me to steward over his fields and whole household. The year that I took over as steward Potphar had the best crop ever.”

“Not surprisingly.”

“It was during this time that I first met you. Everything seemed to finally be going well. But there was one problem.”

“What was that?”

“Potiphar’s wife. Ever since I had first become steward, she had seemed to favor me. I did not know why at first. One day, she called me to her room and commanded me to lie with her.”

Asenath eyes opened wide. Joseph was handsome, but to lie with a slave!

“I refused saying that it would be a great wickedness against my master and my God. She continued to tempt me, day after day. Only by the strength of Elohim did I resist. But, one day, when I came into the house to start work, none of the men were there, but at the temple. She grabbed onto my cloak with a vice grip and whispered, ‘Lie with me.’ I tried to run, but she held on tight. I quickly slipped out of my cloak she was holding onto and ran, ran, ran, leaving my cloak. Behind me, I heard a blood-curdling scream. I knew that there were going to be problems. When my master got home, she told him that I had attacked her! I denied it, but it was a slave’s word against his mistress’s.”

“Why didn’t you just tell him the whole story?”

“And try to say that his wife was unfaithful? No, that would just have made things worse. I was sent to the royal prison. It was cold, wet, dirty, a disgusting place. The darkness often tried to close around me. I waited and waited for the truth to come out, but it never did. I began to lose all hope. Seeds of bitterness began to resurface. With nothing to do, thoughts of my life came back. I was reminded of the luxury I had lived in at my father’s house. After a year…”

“A year! A year in prison for something you had not done!”

Joseph nodded. “After a year, all hope seemed to have been suffocated. My body was weakening. I thought that I would die. But again, I was reminded of Elohim’s heart and faithfulness. I cried out to Him and said, ‘If you will give me the strength, I will forgive and live for You!’ He came through again. I woke up the next morning to find a mysterious jar of leek stew. The liquid revived me.”

“Where did it come from?”

“I still don’t know. It was a work of Elohim. I started to try to make the best of the situation. I cleaned up my cell and made friends with my guard. He told me about the problems in the prison. ‘There’s just not enough room. Fights are always breaking out. You are lucky that you got a solitary cell,’ he told me. I told him about my organization skills, and he told the captain of the prison. He put me in charge of organizing the prisoners and keeping them, well, civilized.”

“Quite a job.”

“It was difficult, but I found that when I gave them jobs to do it kept them contented. Every cell had a head prisoner who was to keep things in order. The captain put me in a cell with the Pharaoh’s baker and cupbearer. While in that prison, completely surrendered to Elohim’s will, He began to do something amazing. He opened my eyes to the meaning of dreams. Well, to make a long story shorter, both the baker and cupbearer had dreams, and I interpreted them. In three days, the cupbearer was to be rehired, and the baker was to be beheaded. It came true.”

“Not this again.”

“It’s true.”

“If you are so smart, what did your own dreams mean? The ones that made your brothers so angry.”

“First of all, I am not ‘so smart.’ It is Elohim’s gracious revelation. He showed me that I was to be raised to a high position where my whole family would bow to me. That is what I held onto for the next two years as t he cupbearer who promised to mention me to the Pharaoh forgot me.”

“How did you finally become vizier?”

“You already pretty much know that story. Finally, the cupbearer remembered me when Pharaoh had his strange dreams. See?”

“See what?”

“How Elohim meant all that for good!”

“Um, no.”

Joseph sighed. “He used my trials to mold me into a different man, one who could forgive and depend on Him. And you became my wife. I can’t even imagine the man I would be if I had stayed in Canaan.”

“I admit that you have gone through much pain and hardship like me, but I can’t see the good in my story like you can in yours.”

“Tell it to me?”

Reluctantly, Asenath relayed her story, sometimes in tears, sometimes with a stiff jaw. Joseph listened quietly and intently.

“Try to find good in that!” Asenath demanded.

“If you will listen.”

“Enlighten me,” she answered sarcastically.

“Elohim kept you from two undesirable marriages. One to a man who was cruel at heart and only needed a few months in the army to show it, and another who did not love you but lusted for your looks. He brought you to a place where you would be chosen as my wife. He taught you that love is not an emotion or a physical urge, but action. And I also believe that He has been showing you that the gods of Egypt are false. He is the only true God who loves you more than I. Though the gods of Egypt have not proved themselves, let Elohim have a chance.”

Asenath didn’t know how to respond. Some of the things that he had said made sense, but to think that it was this Elohim who worked it that way? It was too much.

“Joseph, I admire your devotion to your God, but…”

“It’s alright. Just think about what I said today. Please.”


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Tue Jan 20, 2015 2:33 pm
TimmyJake wrote a review...



Timmy heeere! :3

Sorry I haven't been getting to them as often as I should be. Pieces to review have really been piling up, and just now I am fully caught up for a little while, and so I can come back to this book - my leisure reviewing piece. These are so much fun to read and review, and I find myself completely hopeless at giving you anything constructive on your plot save for that I think it's wonderful. I know you're following the book of Genesis and all that, using the story of Joseph and weaving the pieces together into a story. But there are so many pages, so many parts of Joseph's life not recorded, and I think you're doing an amazing job recreating the past. I know how hard it can be sometimes, because research can only tell you so much. Many aspects of this story no doubt are you best guesses and what you see when you fill in the dots, because there's probably nothing as detailed in his life as you're going into now. Before, I was so engrossed in Asenath and her story. But Joseph has a bigger story to tell than she does. While Asenath has more of a sob story to give someone, Joseph has gone through real troubles, real hardships - and come through it all as he is in this chapter. I like his character a lot. ^.^

While I am talking about character, I will speak about Joseph a bit. I remember you asking me in the previous review what I thought about him and his character/personality. And while I don't fully understand if you're meaning if I like him or if he seems "manly" enough. One thing I learned while writing Affinity was that there is no such thing as a proper way of displaying a character as a man or woman. They are themselves, and don't have to be limited to stereotypes (one example of that is Joseph. He cries throughout the chapters on occasion). So if I was comparing Joseph to the average thirty year-old man, I would say he's a bit different from them. But... he's Joseph. I never got the feeling while reading through that he was unrealistic, or seemed too girly - like a girl had written him. No, he was just Joseph to me. His personality has always been a favorite of mine, seeming soft and gentle and hard and strong at the same time. A complicated person, yes, but definitely someone any person would look up to. His character is someone I could envision in his position. So you've given him the right personality, in my opinion. c:

While I read through this chapter, though, the part where he was so angry seemed out of place. Not out of place like the scene shouldn't have been there, but more like that it didn't' seem like a Joseph thing. To become angry like that, and yell and become red in the face. The reason for why I think that is simple - due to your previous displaying of his personality. He's never become angry before. o.o Ever. Each time Asenath did something to him, or anyone did anything displeasing, he wouldn't become angry at all. So now when he loses his temper in such a visual way, it throws his character askew for a bit. If you're going to keep this scene (which is probably the best idea), just make sure you show some of his anger throughout the earlier chapters. So his anger doesn't whack your readers in the face, you know? :3

Sometimes I think your characters yell too much. While I read through their chatting (or arguments in this case xD), it seems as though they're constantly yelling. Everything they say is ended with either a question mark or an exclamation mark. And while I see the point of that to show the reader they're in a heated discussion, it glares out at the reader when used too often. Like, if I went and ended most of my sentences in this review with an exclamation mark, it would become annoying and it would seem as though I am yelling at you. And, over time the exclamation mark will also lose the affect it may have had when used too often to express anger or any kind of emotion. I would prescribe a lesser dosage, and if you need to show their anger, show it through their actions and through their words instead of through their punctuation as much. An occasional exclamation mark is fine, and they truly have their purpose, but use them sparingly as you would a treat. Otherwise, they will lose their sweetness.

Therese spoke about the dialogue, so I won't go too much into that. But listen to what she said, and allow Asenath to interject more often and at a less... staged point of his story. As it sits right now, it's almost as though someone is telling her when to speak. She has ears, right? When she hears something interesting or confusing, allow her to speak up and interrupt him. Use thought and actions to break up the dialogue a bit, and keep things lively. While dialogue can be the easiest and most fun part of a chapter/book to read, it can also become quite tedious to read when slammed into long paragraphs with nothing else to break them up. c:

I like where this story is going, and while Asenath is still where she was before - when she hated anything to do with God, she is going to be thinking about it. I can just tell. ^.^ And Joseph does a good job of explaining everything to her, and he did a nice job telling his story to her, as well (although it did seem a bit long-winded at parts). I hope she does some good thinking like it seems she will. Someday, she and Joseph may agree on something yet. xD
~Darth Timmyjake




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Fri Jul 25, 2014 2:55 am
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ThereseCricket wrote a review...



Hi! Cricket here for a review!

Oh, so this is based off the book of Genesis? I'm always forgetting so please don't be upset if I get any of this wrong. :P Actually, I'll just comment on structure and stylistic issues, as to avoid any problems. :D


I'll read and comment as I write!

Asenath’s newfound bliss lasted about… two weeks. But she found, as many married couples find, that her spouse was not perfect.


Although, I think you need this information, and it was a good idea to put it in, I think you somehow phrased it wrong, or implied something that I don't think you meant. For one, newly married couples NORMALLY don't marry unless they know each other's faults, or of course they are just plain stupid. That's what I got from this paragraph actually... that she married him without knowing what he actually was. Of course, I might be missing an element to the story right now, as maybe this was an arranged marriage or something. (uh oh, what am I doing commenting on story line...sorry! Just had to put my input in there!) Hope you don't mind me being a little too nitpicky in your story line! :D


One of his faults, other than his ridiculous devotion to his God, she found at a party the Pharaoh’s house.


Here is just a silly nitpick. I'd redo this line, in the sense that I'd use Ellipsis in just one spot here. I'll just show you were, if you don't mind... :D

One of his faults--other than his ridiculous devotion to his God--she found at a party the Pharaoh’s house.


OK, it doesn't quite work here, as it does in Word, but I think I was clear enough. I thought it flowed so much smoother this way, by doing using the ellipsis.

I…I am aghast!


Aghast I think is the wrong word for this circumstance. In my personal experience I have found that it's best to use this kind of word in dialogue tags. I would rephrase it to something like this...

I...I can't believe you would do this!"


Er, OK... not the best example exactly, but I kinda felt that if you tried to keep the wording simpler in such a charged moment, it would come out so much better! I have always found that if you keep wording simple in heated or charged moments, then your point will come across much smoother and efficiently.

One day, she called me to her room and commanded me to lie with her.”


This isn't a nitpick, but I figured I'd mention it. This work should really have a 12+ rating, for mature content. As this is serious stuff! Hope yo don't mind me sayin something! :D

OK, now one thing I just adore is their relationship! You can tell that they are basically one of the cutest couples that ever walked. For one, they aren't struggling to be the equal at everything, but instead seem to be content with each other having their own special area of expertise and molding together. And that just makes them PERFECT. I love it when a husband goes to his wife for help or just to VENT and she helps him out without shoving it in his face. WELL DONE. I just cannot stand it, when a woman shoves it in her husbands face, when she can figure out something that her husband can't.

Being a girl myself, I always found that it's easier to portray your female character correctly, if you manage to get inside their head and just imagine what they would say in certain circumstances. :D But it seems you have a special type of relationship here, that will need SERIOUS character development. I mean, she doesn't even believe in his God! How hard is it for her, or him?! living with each other? They don't share the same beliefs, and yet they respect each other, and that is freakin awesome. It's going to take some incredible development if you want to get this right. But you've got it pretty well sliced so far, from what I've seen of this chapter. He's showing her his beliefs, and is trying to bring her over to his way of thinking. And that's an awesome center of a chapter!

I have only one more suggestion, that I'd like to mention...

“Why didn’t you just tell him the whole story?”

“And try to say that his wife was unfaithful? No, that would just have made things worse. I was sent to the royal prison. It was cold, wet, dirty. An altogether disgusting place. The darkness often tried to close around me. I waited and waited for the truth to come out, but it never did. I began to lose all hope. Seeds of bitterness began to resurface. With nothing to do, thoughts of my life came back. I was reminded of the luxury I had lived in at my father’s house. After a year…”

“A year! A year in prison for something you had not done!”

Joseph nodded. “After a year, all hope seemed to have been suffocated. My body was weakening. I thought that I would die. But again, I was reminded of Elohim’s heart and faithfulness. I cried out to Him and said, ‘If you will give me the strength, I will forgive and live for You!’ He came through again. I woke up the next morning to find a mysterious jar of leek stew. The liquid revived me.”

“Where did it come from?”


First off, I'd like to apologize for cutting out so much, but I wasn't sure how to show you unless I did so, so hope you don't mind!

I noticed that you seem to keep the paragraphs well balanced between him saying something long about his past, and then her commenting, and it stays that way throughout the entire scene/moment. I'd suggest trying to splitting it up a bit. Like he says two or three sentences one time, and then she comments, and then maybe he'll say five sentences that time, and then she'll comment! Just a thought, as I thought it was too well balanced, and it felt VERY intentional, and just in your face about it. :)

OK, and that's it from me! Hope this little bit helped ya!

~Cricket




Aravis10 says...


Thank you Cricket! *Ding, ding!* You are correct! Yes, this is based on the book of Genesis, and yes, it was an arranged marriage. You win...self-satisfaction! it probably should be 12 . I forget about that part when I posted it. I will fix it now! (if I can figure out how to.) I was nervous about this chapter because I knew it wasn't my best. But you were so helpful!





lol you're welcome! Glad I was of some help to youuu!



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Fri Jul 25, 2014 2:46 am
Wolfi wrote a review...



Wolfie has arrived once again! Another Green Room review... This book deserves so much more attention! :(

Asenath’s newfound bliss lasted about… two weeks. But she found, as many married couples find, that her spouse was not perfect.

This is a very amusing start to this chapter and sets the scene quite beautifully. Joseph seemed like the perfect guy, but here you are reminding us that he is, indeed, human.
I decided to read through the entire chapter this time instead of pausing for nitpicks. I felt that the conversation was written nicely. The reader learns a lot about Joseph's life, as does Asenath. However, I found that Asenath's interrupting remarks were a little unrealistic, particularly this one:
“Quite a job.”

Otherwise, though, you did a very nice job.
I'm looking forward to seeing where you are going to take this historical story now. Asenath seems to be content with Joseph and no conflicts seem to be arising. Hopefully those other chapters I see on the right column will be filled with more of Asenath and Joseph's wonderful, unique tale!
I'm going to go over a few nitpicks really quick...
“Oh my! Your own brother!”

I think that "brother" should be plural.
“”Joseph! I…I am aghast

You can see the little quotation mistake there.
That is all for now! Nice chapter! :D

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Aravis10 says...


Haha Thank you so much! I've been looking forward to this review!




I see no reason to celebrate the random timing of natural events by eating poison and singing.
— Dilbert