z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Book Man, Chapter 65 (Revised)

by BluesClues


65 STRANGE COMPANY

As they forged a path through the forest, Christian remembered Narodnaya waiting for him nearby.

He could still feel her presence in his mind now and then, listening to his thoughts and gleaning information, although there had been a time late yesterday afternoon when she had been so absent he was sure she had gone back to her lands to assure herself of their well-being. Now he reached out to her. Her hesitation flooded over him.

They will fear me. They will try to kill me.

No, they wouldn’t, Christian thought, though he was not sure of that at all. Still, they were his friends too.

“I need to see a friend before we go,” he said.

“Which way?” Morrow asked.

“Just a bit to the left.”

He tried to push past them and lead the way so they would not be so astonished upon sight of the marsh-witch, but Morrow and the troupe strode ahead and Christian was not a pusher. After a moment of politely saying “excuse me” and “if I could just get through—” he gave up. They would see her soon enough, one way or another.

There was a shout from Morrow and the clang of his sword being drawn as she drifted out in front of them. Christian heard her voice in his head, confused more than anything—how is it possible? I slew him in the marshes—it is not possible—He darted forward, sidestepped the sword, waved his hands at Morrow and shouted, “No—no—this is my friend.”

“Indeed?” said Morrow, but he did not lower his blade.

He does not know me, Narodnaya said in bewilderment.

“This is Morrow the Younger,” Christian said, “son of Morrow the Elder.”

—who, he thought, was probably the one she had killed. He felt her dawning comprehension and a sense of relief, perhaps because the one she had killed had not somehow miraculously come back to life to seek his revenge.

“How do you do,” Morrow said warily. “And you are, madam?”

“This is Narodnaya,” Christian said. “She’s the, er, Keeper of the Marshes.”

Almost immediately he wished he had not said anything about that, for Morrow looked at her and said, “Then perhaps you would remember my father—a man about my height, very like me, in fact, who was in the marshes west of the mountains almost twenty years ago now. He crossed through them once on his way to Neva’s dwelling, but we haven't had word of him since he began his journey back.”

Narodnaya drifted silently before him. Christian wondered for a moment if she was speaking to Morrow alone, but then the Rover said, “Well?” and he realized she refused to say anything about it.

“She, er, doesn’t say much,” he said. “But I can assure you her intentions are good.”

“How? How can you be sure she isn’t with Goblin?”

“I’m sure. She’s been very kind to me. She saved me from some sirens when I was in the forest beyond the mountains.”

Morrow sheathed his sword at last, though his dusky brow was still drawn in suspicion. Rowan clapped Christian on the back and said, “Strange company you keep, Mr. Abernathy. But if she’s your friend then we welcome her.”

“Thank you,” Christian said.

Rowan bowed to the marsh-witch. “Call me Rowan, my dear lady. Pleased to make your acquaintance, and I hope you’ve not been troubling yourself too much on his account.”

The marsh-witch considered Rowan for a moment with her eyes blazing green and then returned the ringmaster’s bow with the slightest incline of her wild head.

No trouble whatsoever.

Apparently they all heard that one, for Morrow said uneasily, “Was that her?”

It was me. Narodnaya’s voice sounded faintly irritable. There’s no need to speak of me as if I were a dumb animal.

“Forgive me. I didn’t see you speak.”

And so you shall not. Her irritation increased as she spoke, but this time Christian didn’t know what she was talking about. There is no need for that. From what I hear, you are not such a pleasant companion yourself, most times.

A moment later, it became clear that her last words were in response to something Morrow had thought, for the Rover turned a bright shade of red and said again, “Forgive me.”

Liza poked her head out of the back of the wagon. “What’s the hold-up?”

Then she caught sight of Narodnaya. Her eyes widened, but before she could say anything, Christian told the marsh-witch, “That’s the friend I was supposed to travel with. Liza, this is Narodnaya. It’s her bog I landed in.”

He could see Liza’s mind whirring as the marsh-witch stared at her, could see her willing herself not to panic at the sight of this new creature who looked so frightening. At last, however, she swallowed and said, “Pleasure to meet you.”

Something like a smirk flickered across Narodnaya’s face. She bowed.

“Oughtn’t we to be moving on?” Liza said weakly. “The portal opens at dawn, and the fairies won’t keep it open if we miss it.”

Morrow had been gazing at the marsh-witch with a furrowed brow, but at Liza’s words he roused himself and said bracingly, “She’s right. We should press on. The portal is a little ways, yet.”

He seemed unable to help, as they walked, leaning close to Christian’s ear and murmuring, “Can your marshy friend hear our thoughts, then?”

“If she wants,” Christian said.

“I wouldn’t want to offend her.”

“Try thinking of tea,” Christian said.


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Mon Sep 01, 2014 4:17 pm
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Deanie says...



Hi Blue!

Love the ending of this chapter by the way ;)

Morrow had thought, for the Rover turned a bright shade of red and said again, “Forgive me.”


Aww, I kind of wanted the whole 'forgive me' think to just be polite-socially-awkward-Christian's kind of thing. But if Morrow's saying it too it isn't quite the same. Maybe he could just mumble an apologise or say 'I'm sorry' or something? I don't know, I just closely associated 'forgive me' with Christian's humble self. Not that Morrow isn't humble, but you know >.>

Deanie x




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Fri Aug 22, 2014 2:05 pm
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TimmyJake wrote a review...



Timmy here!

This will be a very short review because, quite honestly, there isn't enough to comment on in this, and you know... All of my reviews are pretty much comments with compliments and maybe one concern thrown in. Onto the review, though! :D

I thought this was very funny and appropriate with them being so concerned over Narodnaya. I mean, yesh she is cool and awesome and nice, but it took a while for Christian to become accustomed to her, so it really made sense that they would be acting this way. She is a wild character, right? :P

“Try thinking of tea,” Christian said.


I just remember this from the previous chapter, and that is very, very good because normally when its been a long time since I read a piece I forget, but I didn't this time and it means that the comment was big and remember-worthy to keep in my head. So yay! This totally made sense to me.

The marsh-witch considered Rowan for a moment with her eyes blazing green and then returned the ringmaster’s bow with the slightest incline of her wild head.


The ringmasters reaction to Narodnaya was too priceless, really. She did it like she was some "suave" prince or something, bowing deeply to her. And what she said was just perfect. xD "I hope you haven't troubled yourself too much on his account" like "Christian isn't a big deal."

He seemed unable to help, as they walked, leaning close to Christian’s ear and murmuring, “Can your marshy friend hear our thoughts, then?”


Since he is asking this because of the fact that he can hear her thoughts, I think Morrow should say "Can your marshy friend hear our thoughts, too?" The too on the end indicates that he is asking that because he can hear hers. I think, anyway.

So really, this was just an introduction of Nardonaya (who is strangely one of my favorite characters) to the other people travelling with Christian. Some might call it a filler chapter, but I think its every bit as important as the others. Their reaction to Narodnaya is very important for her character, and if she fits in. She will never fit in all the way, but I hope the rest of them begin to see her as Christian does.




BluesClues says...


I'm pretty sure I say this every time you review a Narodnaya chapter, but I LOVE HER SO MUCH.



Deanie says...


Narodnaya has definitely earned a lot of love. She's so awesome <3



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Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:29 pm
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Tiaradyson wrote a review...



There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion!
It has this emotional punch between the characters!!!!! AWE!
Your vocabulary is on point, I like that you don't over due it like some people do. Cause some people don't even know what some words means, but they just use it cause it just sounds good.

I like in the beginning the main character does a lot In his power not to be intimidated that they might hurt the witch. They're at moments where I just wanted to Awe, I love the main character. I like how you direct us in the direction into drama with the Keeper of the marsh and the N guy lmfao can't even pronounce it!
But I'm not a dialogue person, I'm more of a showing not a telling and I-opinion- just thought there was too much dialogue and not enough description -__- sorry I ruined the good review!

You're description on how the character reacts and does just feels life-like, um I wasn't really focused on Grammar error just looking for a good read. Sorry, I thought you did absolutely great on this and I could really picture like a movie, no matter where I started off in your chapters. No matter where you start and finish off, it still helps us a little understand there a limit time to reach a portal and a characters witch could die. This was great, you're such a pro ^_^




BluesClues says...


Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it.



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Sun Jul 06, 2014 9:48 pm
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EmeraldEyes wrote a review...



Hi.

Here to review another chapter of your VERY long novel. XD

Points:

- I don't think it's getting the recognition it deserves, because it very much so deserves to be out of the green room :)
- Like I said last time, yuo have a very mature writing style, and it is so easy to read, ergo enjoyable.
- I think the characters are interesting, particularly: Narodnaya
- You've got very good descriptive technique
- Sometimes I think the dialogue could be expanded on a bit, by which I mean, the characters say things in a very obvious way and you could maybe change this up a bit to add a bit more mystery
- The length of your chapters are good, I don't get bored reading them. :)

Keep writing. :D




BluesClues says...


Muchos gracias! While I appreciate the comment about this not getting enough attention, it's actually getting out of the Green Room pretty quickly--and, to be fair, it did get quite a lot of attention when I posted the original draft. This is just revisions. :)




When a good man is hurt, all who would be called good must suffer with him.
— Euripides