Hello, Strange. Okay, so I see what you're trying to do. You're trying to be edgy and make a note of how people who try to be "Avant Garde" really just repeat each other's lines. But then that becomes what you're doing, as well. You didn't really come up with your own lines to use, you just repeated what everyone else is saying, you know? I also didn't really understand the "FREE WORK DAY" part. Maybe it makes sense to other people and not me. Ah I feel bad this sounds really harsh. On to what I did like:
I liked the use of avocado, it goes along with the other meaningless things people try to make symbolic. I liked the form of the poem. I thought it flowed well.
To sum it all up, I like your ideas, but I think you shoud phrase it in a different way
--emeraldfox
Points: 7676
Reviews: 93
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