Young Writers Society

Heya, Lost! Casanova here to do another review for you!

Anyway, the first thought I had whenever I read this was,"Um, okay then... help." A lot of your stories and poetry makes me think this at first, but let's get into the room.

Now, the first thing I'd like to say is that this poem seems a tad bit rambly. Like, you have your imagery(stolen feet I guess), and yet it's going all over the place fast. Pace yourself, and let whatever story you're trying to tell unfold. Don't jump into anything really fast like this. take your time to think and play it out. Anyway, onward with the review.

The next thing I'd like to say about this is I lacked any connection to the poem what so ever. It's more of a fun poem it seems like, but all I'm getting out of it is the rambly,"MY FEET," deal and honestly it's a bit annoying. Try something less rambly, more connecting with the reader. Anyway, onward.

The next thing is the repetition. Throughout most of the poem you're basically just repeating that your feet have been taken, so that gets a little annoying to read after a while as well.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on this one and I hope it helped. Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.

Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron

I love the wit in this and the unique lay out. It's a comedic poem yet very understandable and I love the way you displayed it and wrote it too. I love the simplicity of the poem as well, it's not too complex so that the funniness of the poem can get through and also the message trying to be conveyed. Although I don't mind and even like the layout, it could be something you could change. Only because other people may not understand your reasoning for this but it could also be the unique way that only you lay out your poems so if you want keep it like that! Again, this poem is very very good and I love the informality of this because it makes it easier to digest by the reader but isn't too simple that it becomes boring or flat. It's well written and the only thing I could nitpick would be the layout but other than that this is gorgeous piece.

Hey!

So this work is really funny.
I don't really understand why it is in bullet points? Was this a formatting issue or a conscious choice? Because it seems a little bit odd. XD

However, it doesn't hinder the reading. So, for the actual content.

'•My feet! - Unusual opening line. Ok.
•Oh my feet! - Exclamative here reinforces idea.
•Stolen by my sister , - personal anecdote
•In the middle of the night! - creates humour.
•

•How loony is she - is this a question or a statement? This isn't made clear here.
•To think that they - this is a very alliterative 't' line. Good.
•Were her mom and dad! - ok, so this has now become very confusing. Her feet are her parents??? What? XD
•

•Is she deranged or just insane - this is a rhetorical question that needs punctuating.
•For those feet - this builds more on the comic aspect.
•Are mine! - weird level of ownership. You also use a lot of short sentences like this which adds variety.
•

•After all - the emjambment actually appears more disjointed when you are reading the work, so I would think about connecting your sentences together more some of the time.
•Those feet are my family - ok, now the earlier imagery is starting to make a lil bit more sense.
•How dare she try to - until this point.
•Take my mom and dad.' - And I'm sorry, but I just really don't get it.

This piece seems a little bit messy
It is written well, but it just doesn't make any sense. XD

Keep writing.

~BSF

Hello, here for a review. I really liked this. It's got a sort of twisted charm to it, if you know what I'm saying. I like how one assumes that the sister is the only loony one until the end. I laughed out loud at the ending (might have gotten a few stares.) I also enjoyed the sort of broken rhythm to it. All in all, a really good piece! Keep writing!
-Bellator

Hey there lostthought! I'm here to review your poem!
I quite like the insanity of this poem, the concept is only comprehendible by our fellow insane people! It kind of sounds like something Dr. Seuss would go on about but this is on a less philosophical sense and more for fun.
Your grammar is overall pretty good as well, capitals and all in the right place. Although those bullet points annoy me and you had very few punctuation on the end of each line.
Here is a few nitpicks:

•My feet!
•Oh my feet!