Young Writers Society

Verse 1

I don’t know if you’ve noticed
But there’s not a lot of colour
Around this time of year.
And maybe it’s these grey skies
Or maybe it’s town
But there doesn’t seem to be much life around
These days.

Chorus

So I’ll meet you around the corner
In the middle of this dead summer
Where the sun is never out.
You’ll take me for walks along the flat beaches
And we'll go drinking
When the street lights go out.
We’ll lie on our backs
And look up at airplanes
And say we’ll be out of here one day.
But right now
I’m just happy
Laughing with you
In the middle of this dead summer.

Verse 2

Until school goes back we won’t see anyone but each other
But that’s alright with me.
As we go to the local pool
Floating with dead leaves
And you’ll push me in.
And I’ll scream and I’ll splash
And pull you in as well.
Here are our little splinters of joy
In the middle of this dead summer.

Chorus

Bridge

And we’ll make plans in the backyard tent
Saying “We’ll leave the first chance we get”
And never come back again
But right now
Right now
Right in this moment
I’m just happy
Spending this dead summer with you

LOL! Sounds a lot like what I just posted. I see what you mean about imagery. Makes it a lot more interesting. Good Job!

I liked your song...
It has a nice ring to it...

Worth reading.

hello Gracie.
beautiful imagery, and i love the phrase 'dead summer'.
keep writing.

I liked this a lot...I only saw two things that were a bit off. The first was when you said

\"And maybe it’s these grey skies

Or maybe it’s town \"

It seemed like something was missing in the \"or maybe it\'s town\"...I\'m not sure if you meant it to be that way or if you meant it to say \"or maybe it\'s the town\"

The other thing that was off was the fact that the two people were drinking when I assumed they were the same age as you.

oh well.

I liked this alot!
The only thing I could say that was negative isn't really negative at all. When you said "Or maybe it’s town" I think you mean "Or maybe it's this town."
Do you have a melody or anything for this? It's a really nice song!
Keep writing (:

The only real problem I see is the line "Or maybe it's town". As the others above me have said, I think you meant to say 'the town' or 'this town'. Other than that I really enjoyed it. I can definitely picture it in my head. Do you have any ideas on the music? I think it would sound lovely. Overall, great job! Keep writing.

-Liz

Hello! Here as requested. (:

First off, I just have to say: I give this song two thumps up!
The first time I read it I could hear music to go with the words and that was awesome. The second time I read it, the lyrics sunk into my head. So, in total I read this song 2 times before reviewing it. And when I do that, it's usually not a good thing. But this time it was. (:

Here are our little splinters of joy

In the middle of this dead summer.

^ That part right there is my favorite part of the whole song. Wonderful. (:

~DeadEnds