Young Writers Society

7 years of 60 eyes
That hated me.
30 souls that saw
Only the mistakes
Of an eight-year-old.

They might as well
Have cut my tongue off
And thrown it to sea.

Their laughter,
The fakey-nice smiles,
The piercing stares,
The whispers.
Bit by tortuous bit,
They've been skinning me alive
For 7 years.

This "paradise" is too much.
Even a rock would be broken down.
In this place
Where silly games
You barely remember
Decide your fate
For the next 7 years,
And make you insane.

But now,
I've finally been told
To pack my bags,
For this isn't my home anymore,
Like it ever was.

I'd forgotten what it was like,
To breathe real air,
To walk, to run, to dream,
This is my reality again,
Now I'm finally free.

I didn't really get this... not at all... but I guess it's more of a personal situation... or am I just stupid? Anyway, the second stanza didn't really seem to fit with the rest of them to me. What is the point of it there?

This "paradise" is too much.
Even a rock would be broken down.
I don't know... the rock thing seemed kind of cheesy.

But now,
I've finally been told
To pack my bags,
For this isn't my home anymore,
Eh.. I'm confused again...

I'd forgotten what it was like,
To breathe real air,
To walk, to run, to dream,
I didn't really like this part. It was a bit, as much as I hate to say it, cliche.

Now I'm finally free.
It didn't seem a very powerful ending.

I know.. I didn't really critique this, but, like I said before, I was really confused by this poem.

Yeah, it is kind of a personal situation that I feel very bitter about. Thanks for the crit though. I know this isn't my best work, but I'll wait and see if anyone else reviews it before messing around with it.

I didn't get it either, but that doesn't matter. I enjoyed the poem. The rhthym was the best and I loved the third stanza and the poem's ending. Great job. And no, it's not the worse poem you've ever posted.

Nite I enjoyed this poem. And it is not the stupidest poem you have ever posted.