There is a place

Hey there,

Just a quick review because i'm not really good at this section of writing, but it's always good to try something new .
I love this piece As a whole, it is a very emotional piece. At first it seems very sad and that theme continues; however I love the last line "And I am free from the old me". It is really good and is kind of a ray of light in what seems like a lot of sadness (but that's just me.)
There was one line that i wasn't sure on "Who I am when it hurt to breath" maybe its meant to say "hurts"? but I don't know...

Overall it was a joy to read even if it did make me a bit sad, can't wait to read more of your work

I thought your poem was really powerful! and that you thought alot about the words you put into it! Keep writing

This is a really nice poem! It is full of emotion and is very powerful. I just love every line because it portrays so much emotion.
Great work

Hi. First of all, I've got to say, the title is quite eye-catching. Second, while I was reading your poem, I had goose bumps. It was filled with something so deep... It definitely is a strong poem. It's different from the poems I've read. It's very good! I was so engrossed in it that I lost track of everything. You have a poet in you. I feel that you can do really good in writing articles or stories. I don't know if you've already posted them but your words catch the reader's attention which is very important. Do keep it up and always do your best

There is a place deep down,
somewhere in my heart,
where darkness lays in wait-
a place where no one has been.

I fight to keep the light from reaching me,
I stop it from touching the darkness.
Secrets are held in my hands-
Secrets I can never tell.

If I did let them be revealed
Then you would see,
Who I am when it hurts to breath.
Will I forgive, will I forget?
I do not know.

Indecision and doubt
Cloud my mind-
my black soul has no place,
But it consumes all my heart.

I do what I do not want to do;
Light is not even there.
Restoration and patience are what I need,
Freedom that I have longed to see.

Come, light, come;
For then I will have vision.
Come, hope, come;
And I will let fear be.

I will breath and be free,
And life will have its way-
Strong walls will fall
Around my heavy soul.

There is a place deep down,
somewhere in my heart,
where darkness lays in wait-
a place where no one has been.

There is a place somewhere-
A place where healing comes.
The darkness’s tower falls,
And I am free from the old me.


Well I liked it- it talks about a thing everyone can relate to- the depths of one's soul.
It was very well phrased, with a beautiful, reoccurring theme that gave it a strong presence.
I only disliked the final stanza- I would have loved it if your poem ended with the same words it began with.
SubjectBlue