Young Writers Society

Happy Sixth Birthday to all members of YWS, young and old!

Young Writers Society,
Oh what can I say?
Under any circumstance,
None can deny that we’re
Great.

We've so many awesome members,
Rina and Meshie, Fire and Nate,
I would list them all if there was space.
The friends that we’ve made here,
Even the ones soon to come,
(Really we'll welcome anyone),
Should feel blessed that this site will be here for years on.

Six year since our founding:
Oh it’s been a memorable run.
Can you even imagine the internet being so fun?
I encourage you all,
Every single one:
To sing out to the world
YWS: six more years to come!



A real *head/desk* moment is when you realize that you left out the 'R' in Writers...I feel stupid.

So this is what you were doing Lily! Do you have a theme for this! This should be our anthem for two years! I love the way, the first letters of every line spell out Young Writers Society.

Hi, lilymoore, I'm Freak.

I really like this - love it actually. I'm sure Nate will be greatful. Nice.

Nitpicks:

Young Writers Society (Comma)
Oh what can I say?
Under any circumstance,
None can deny that we’re
Great. *We are

Without the biggest baddest members,
Rina and Meshie, Fire and Nate Here, this feels unfinished. You just said "Without the biggest baddest members, Rina and Meshie, Fire and Nate"...Without them what?
I would list them all if there was space.
The friends that we’ve made here,
Even the ones soon to come,
Should be blessed that this site will be here for years on.

Six year since our founding (Colon)
Oh it’s been a memorable run (Period)
Can you even imagine the internet being so fun. (Question mark and possibly an exclamation point)
I encourage you all,
Every single one:
To sing out to the world
YWS: six more years to come!

Good job, for the most part. I got the sense you were trying to rhyme but nothing really did so...I don't know. Maybe it was the rhythm. Anyway, nice, write on and PM me for anything else.

~Freak

<3

Lileh!
I reaaally don't want to point a very nitpicky thing, but I find starting these acrostic-like things with the actual word a bit meh.
Still, this is awesome.

~Sistah!

SIX BILLION LIKES!

I LOVE IT!
Keep Writing!
Nike

Lily, you're brilliant.

And to throw in something helpful, the last line of the second stanza feels too long.

Nonetheless, you rule. =D

Epic, Lily.

I hate acrostic poems, but this poem is plain awesome.
So kudos to you.

Ooh, cool poem! I love it! xD And, it's in acrostics! Epic cool! lol (I'm so exaggerating XD)

I like your idea
It seemed really enthusiastic, though. Kind of fake. Almost like you were trying to be a cheerleader for Young Writers Society, which, for some reason, came off almost annoying lol.

I enjoyed reading.
Next time maybe try to show more of why you enjoy Young Writers Society, so there's less commercialization to it.

CreativeFreak wrote:Without the biggest baddest members,
Rina and Meshie, Fire and Nate Here, this feels unfinished. You just said "Without the biggest baddest members, Rina and Meshie, Fire and Nate"...Without them what?
~Freak

I agree with Freak. That part doesnt make much sense.

Overall, you did a pretty good job. Keep writing.

Absolutly love it. *clicks like button*

Awesome work Lily! I love the format of the whole poem.

Only-

CreativeFreak wrote:Without the biggest baddest members,
Rina and Meshie, Fire and Nate Here, this feels unfinished. You just said "Without the biggest baddest members, Rina and Meshie, Fire and Nate"...Without them what?

I have to agree with Freak here; this was the only major fault I could find in the poem.

Anyway, great job! YWS thanks you!

Evenin' Lilymoore,

Firstly, this poem is naturally admirable and full of lovely jubly compliments so it is only all to obvious that we're all going to love it and love you for doing it. However, in terms of writing it's a wee bit here and there. Here's my review (:

lilymoore wrote:Young Writers Society, I think someone mentioned this already, but I'm not sure that starting an acrostic with the acrostic is always the most intriguing opening. However, I can see why it was rational and to come up with an alternative may be a wee bit tricky. Although, something as simple as "You:" would really bring me in, you know? 'Cause it's very direct - and essentially you're still talking to all of YWS, just more implicitly.
Oh what can I say? Kind'a sounds cheerful and cheeky, I like it.
Under any circumstance,
None can deny that we’re
Great. Not a nit-pick, but just a suggestion. You've set yourself up to say anything here, so why not say anything? This is poetry. Avoid the old bangers like "great" on its own. Why not portray YWS's crazyness by saying somethins like: "No-one can deny that we're Gooey, amazing and great." It just keeps up your rhythm of dum de-dum de-dum. If I'm making sense?

We've so many awesome members,
Rina and Meshie, Fire and Nate, Love the rhythm here.
I would list them all if there was space.
The friends that we’ve made here,
Even the ones soon to come,
(Really we'll welcome anyone),
Should feel blessed that this site will be here for years on. You seem to punctuate every line. Is there a reason for this? I just feel that where there's a natural rhythm in your poetry it sometimes feels a bit forced because you've explicitly told us right, comma, take a break, and go again Such as on the end of the line "Even the ones soon to come," I wouldn't put a comma because essentially: "Even the ones soon to come should feel blessed..." runs quite fluently, so why break it up?

Six years gone a-bye-bye since our founding: Not trying to suggest you use this, but just trying to make a point for you to be wacky, jump out of the boat and offer us your true wonderous imagination of words and vocab that I know you have.
Oh it’s been a memorable run. I like this, but I'd change the period to a semi-colon so that the next line is almost interruptive and the reader can flow along with your lines better.
Can you even imagine the internet being so fun?
I encourage you all,
Every single one:
To sing out to the world
YWS: six more years to come! Couldn't have ended it better!

I hope this helped you improve this poem or maybe give you a few cracking ideas for some future ones.
Keep writing,
Ben