Stripped Bark

Hannah wrote:He sees her legs are sound and shapely,
firmly planted in the ground:
___ a graceful maple sapling,
___ victim to the Abenaki.
If she stands like marble, she hopes,
___ he won't choose her. This part is a bit confusing for me. Maybe it's the way the sentence is arranged...?

But no! Her arching, graceful branches
bleed emotion and worth through her leaves; Very dramatically done, I like the tone here.
___ they quiver in inspiration. I think 'from inspiration' is better that 'in inspiration
___ Foil to the steadfastness
takes to nervous flight and tumbles, circling,
___ so he chooses her. Sorry, but I find this part confusing as well.

Now stabbed and ruined and stripped This is a bit overdone. Maybe try replacing 'ruined.'
of dignity, she weeps her sticky syrup-tears.
___ Within, a life frayed,
___ exposed to judgment.
Now he sees the fear that boiled beneath,
___ wonders why he chose her. I think it's better when you put '______he wonders why he chose her

Hannah wrote:He sees her legs are sound and shapely, Lovely metaphor there.
firmly planted in the ground:
___ a graceful maple sapling,
___ victim to the Abenaki.
If she stands like marble, she hopes,
___ he won't choose her.

But no! Her arching, graceful branches The exclamation mark fits in a good way, well done for that!
bleed emotion and worth through her leaves;
___ they quiver in inspiration.
___ Foils to the steadfastness
take to nervous flight and tumble, circling,
___ so he chooses her.

Now stabbed and ruined and stripped
of dignity, she weeps her sticky syrup-tears. I like this line, but maybe something other than "sticky syrup-tears" or take the dash away ^^
___ Within, a life frayed, The simplicity of this sentence is lovely
___ exposed to judgment.
Now he sees the fear that boiled beneath,
___ wonders why he chose her. Gotta say, love the ending!