Young Writers Society

Sadness is the pain.
Everything else is numb.
Like no blood rushing to the skin.
Blue water in her eyes,
Tears... Could it be?
Hidden with a smile,
Pink lips curled up.
Consumed by hatred,
A red blaze deep inside.
No one perceives,
Too late.
Her pale body washed up,
On the sandy coastline.
Her sweet laugh no longer heard.
The beautiful melody gone.
The gentile notes not surrounding ears,
Like it once did before.
They where blinded by there eye.
Deaf by what they heard.
Never understanding that,
She could cry too.
Tears are shed,
Not for her,
But in remorse.
They where stupid to think,
She was happy.
Her smile,
Was for them all,
You see.
A burden
She didn't want to be.
Now she is forever to live
As she always has secretly.
Deceased now in body,
And in mind.
In the brown coffin.
Six feet,
Berried in the soil.
Maybe to find,
The peace
She so longed for.

Sorry it is very dark and sad, but I had to say what others seem to ignore. The pain of others.This is for my sweet friend and sister Stephene' I love you so much and hope you stay strong. People are nasty, but I'll be the strength you need. Yeah tell me what you think and thanks.

Sadness is the pain.

great line... the pain of what......

Everything else is numb
Like no blood rushing to the skin.
Blue water in her eyes,

understatement

Tears... Could it be?
Hidden with a smile,
Pink lips curled up.
Consumed by hatred,
A red blaze deep inside.
No one perceives,
Too late.
Her pale body washed up,
On the sandy coastline.

sad face and crying

Her sweet laugh no longer heard.
The beautiful melody gone.
The gentile notes not surrounding ears,
Like it once did before.
They where blinded by there eye.
Deaf by what they heard.
Never understanding that,
She could cry too.
Tears are shed,
Not for her,
But in remorse.

Wow, that stanza or two is amazing and should be noted as such; I love it.

They where stupid to think,
She was happy.
Her smile,
Was for them all,
You see.

I feel happy while reading this part. It makes for great transitional thoughts.
A burden
She didn't want to be.
Now she is forever to live
As she always has secretly.
Deceased now in body,
And in mind.

In the brown coffin.
Six feet,
Berried in the soil.
Maybe to find,
The peace
She so longed for.

dramatic end to a wonderful poem written eloquently.

Great poem. I see this in the eyes of my fellow friends everyday. They deserve better you obviously understand. This work got my mind going. I will make sure that others see this wonderful poem. I give my best to your sister

Oh dear... Haunting, simply haunting (no pun intended). It was beautifully sad and beautifully dark. Well Written.

~FW~

hi glitter

Well this poem was beautifully written but its terribly sad. I felt so much pity welling up in my heart it was unbelievable. But I liked it... no in fact I loved it. I only noted one little mistake:

kcglitter wrote:They where blinded by there eye.

Since you say they it means there were more than one eye so you say eyes. And the there is their (I think(. But apart from that little hiccup it was all great.

Its a very true story. Some people are so very good at masking their true feelings, and so scared of sharing it with someone that they feel ever so alone. I know there is always God with me. All anyone can do for those people is open up their hearts and minds and searcher deeper into every person they know.

Hmmm.. that sounds a bit like I'm preaching there and it has nothing to do with the poem. Sorry. But that was what I was thinking when I read your poem. It brought really strong emotions to me and I just want to let you know that.

Deanie x