Young Writers Society

This needs a new title. And I'm going to try and fix some of the stanzas in the middle

Play a song. This one
Was Marianne’s favourite.

Plummeting through realities:
Each is painted with a new and foreign palette.

I will follow you anywhere
If I can hear you sing,

Ride the winds,
Knit up the seas to keep you warm.

I can look into the ceiling like a well.
Not even clocks move clockwise.

Who needs innocence when there are
Fresh purples to find out? –

Furniture changes shape
If you turn away for a second.

News says, 50 years of sex abuse
At somebody’s old school –

Don’t think about time. Time
Didn’t think about Marianne.

She: tickle behind your ribcage,
Space which used to cradle rainbows.

This one was Marianne’s favourite.
The bounding elastics of your fingertips

Will dry up.

Hey I'm Rachel and I'll be reviwing for you today.

I can look into the ceiling like a well.
Not even clocks move clockwise.

Who needs innocence when there are
Fresh purples to find out? –

She: tickle behind your ribcage,
Space which used to cradle rainbows.

ok so either I'm not thinking, but I didn't understand what you meant by these lines. pleas clarify for me.
didn't see any gramatical errors. this is a pretty nice poem.

First off I loved this poem. The whimsical nature it had served to hid serious undertones, as each little stanza was a separate statement in the whole of the poem. Though all the images don't make perfect sense like

Furniture changes shape
If you turn away for a second.

That being said most of the lines were creative and had a certain depth to them
The only thing I would improve is I would omit the needless pieces in the middle in order to make it more thematically complete. But brilliant simply brilliant.

Thers