Young Writers Society

I used to think that I needed someone to love me.
A strong shoulder to lean on,
a warm hand to hold.
But, as time goes by, I'm slowly realizing
that what I wanted wasn't someone to be with,
it was something to save me from loneliness.

I won't let myself love you just because you're there.
You aren't good for me,
and I'm not good for you.
I'm strong enough to stand on my own two feet,
and I'm strong enough to send you walking on yours.
I'm strong enough to set myself free.

I thought this was pretty good, I'm all for that girls-don't-need-to-be-in-a-relationship-to-be-happy stuff. I really liked these lines:

I'm strong enough to stand on my own two feet,
and I'm strong enough to send you walking on yours.

^_^ Spunky. I love it.

Overall I did think this was a nice poem. It was possibly a little overly-simplified, and realistically it could definitely be given more dimensions and depth, but all the same it had a self-righteous and uplifting attitude that's refreshing after a bunch of mushy love poems (*gag*).
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

your poem is extremely wonderful and i loved every single line:) how it explains how you feel and what you need but in the end it's not what you thought you needed. great job!

Hi!

I rather liked your poem. It was simple yet effective. You also wrote it in such a way that it didn't go on or ages and ages saying what is essentially the same thing, but rather short and concise, which is really good. So well done with that.

However, I do have one small critique. I was a tiny bit surprised at the appearance of another character in the second stanza. From the first stanza, I got the sense that you were going to go on about this feeling and how the narrator realised that they didn't really need someone to love. However, you didn't go in the way I expected with the way you introduced a new character. Not that that's a bad thing. I just think that you could've made the transition a bit more smoother. Perhaps include something like: I have now realise that I don't need you. Or something that will make the introduction of the new character a bit smoother and not as unexpected.

Overall, I really liked the poem. It was short and simple. Yet, you managed to say all that you wanted to say. So well done for that. Perhaps you can improve on your transition a bit, as mentioned above. But other than that, I don't really have much to critique on. Well done. Keep writing!

Hi, I'm Demoness, thought I'd give you a review

So, this is pretty good! I like the message and the way you delivered it was okay, it was a bit dull though... you know, very plain words and not much imagery - you tell us what the narrator feels and want to feel but try "show" us´instead, it makes a more interesting read

Overall though, it was okay and the simplicity of it made it an easy, lighthearted thing to read which is nice sometimes


Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Beautifully done! I love the length of this piece! Allowing every line to take on a life of their own! The flow of this poem is beautiful! The stanza structure is perfect for this style of poem! Some of my favourite lines!


I won't let myself love you just because you're there.

I'm strong enough to stand on my own two feet,
and I'm strong enough to send you walking on yours.
I'm strong enough to set myself free.

Great ending! It is nice to have a heart felt poem to be short and meaningful! This allows the readers to do an almost " you go girl!" emotion! Keep writing!

I used to think that I needed someone to love me.
A strong shoulder to lean on,
a warm hand to hold.
But, as time goes by, I'm slowly realizing
that what I wanted wasn't someone to be with,
it was something to save me from loneliness.

I won't let myself love you just because you're there.
You aren't good for me,
and I'm not good for you.
I'm strong enough to stand on my own two feet,
and I'm strong enough to send you walking on yours.
I'm strong enough to set myself free.


I really loved it- the realization one's independent is a great theme for a poem- However in the second stanza, the second and third lines were pretty weak in my opinion.

Aside from that- all I have to say is: Great job!
SubjectBlue

Wow, this is amazing. It really got me thinking and I was easily able to make connections with my life and friends. I really have nothing to say other than I was expecting a few more sentences before the end.

Overall, it was wonderful!

Hey, creativity!

This is really nice poem and I especially like the proud and independent image of the persona that you have portrayed. This is a short little piece with a surprise punch and with insight into the despair that love brings. A reviewer above me said that in the second stanza, the second and third lines were weak and I agree. They both sound like fillers and don't really provide that much of an impact. But perhaps if you could join those to lines to make them a combined whole and add another line after that to give proper symmetry, it would turn out great.

All in all, an interesting poem with potential and great context. Like I always say, keep the ink flowing!

Murtuza