Young Writers Society

I guess that’s why it’s called a crush.

murtuza wrote:On that cracked old bench
we sat down our thoughts. How about saying "Where we sat our thoughts down"
My ears to your voice,
and my eyes on you locked.

Oh dear Bella, my senses
you had so filled;
your memory leaks out,
and on my heart is spilled. "And on my heart it spilled" I think that flows a bit better. Also, this is my favorite stanza!!

To realize it had been
on you all this time,
This secret I shall keep
with my own lovesick mind. I love love love these last two lines!

But I know that I’m too late
and that another has won Period
this race I’ve so lost. This so called race has made me see,
I have been well outdone. Just a thought

This face, all ragged
and pimple-stricken;
undeserving of
such fine a woman. I think these four lines are the ones that made me stop and re-read your poem about ten more times

So fret not dear Bella,
for my heart will survive
However small,
it’s pieces I will find. Everyone can relate to this feeling/search which makes it so great

And mend it back
to what it was before; period
to before I fell victim, Prior to me becoming yuor victim,
to your magical lure. I think the word lure here just makes it sound like you are trying to hard to rhyme...

So goodbye dear Bella,
I’ll leave you this letter
to the place where it began
where no more it does matter.

A weight was hanged upon my heart;
pushing, forcing down its thrust
waiting to snap, to break it apart

I guess that’s why it’s called a crush.