Young Writers Society

Paint me a set of lips
Full and plump with passion
Smooth as silk when I speak
And as I speak
I know I will be heard

Paint me a set of lashes
As long as the eye can see
Thick with a slight curl at the tip
And as I bat them
All the boys will drool

Paint me a set of eyes
A crisp blue like the endless sky
Emoting perfection in every way
And as I look
No one can look away

What power lies in this mask?

How much power will you give it?

Hey there, Unmarked!

I like this poem a lot for the great use of imagery and the entire conception about this. I'm not one for giving much critique, but as far as being technical, I don't think I would change anything

You are talented in your depictions and it shows in your writing! Keep the ink flowing and I'm hoping to read more from you.

Murtuza

Hey, dogs here. Well i really like this piece unmarked. The topic is a little cliche and you took that overused topic and made it into something new which is great. You used great imagery that really paints a great picture in the readers head. But real quick, my only big nit pick i have is on this line:

"And as i bat them
all the boys will drool"

Um, ummmmm, ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. i dont like this line. at all, unless you were trying to make the reader very uncomfortable by this line and a little "grossed out" to say the least. First of all, um ew. Second of all i don't know anyone who "bats their eye lashes" and i don't think some boys will drool over a pair of eyelashes. I might be a little bias over this because i personally don't find long eyelashes attractive at all, but if you like this line keep it.

Other then that i really like this poem. Keep up the good work!!!!


TuckEr EllsworTh