Watermelon

Spoiler

We're just going to put this under "dramatic poetry" because I have no freaking clue. Also, this is not that humorous new thing I said I was working on. Shame. Have fun with these few lines of I-don't-know-what.

Watermelon in the summer heat,
Bittersweet, a sprinkle of salt.
Like you, when I dig out the seeds,
I find it’s full of holes.

It’s so much more delicious then,
Like you, but not quite filling.
Nostalgic sugar water,
Just a fleeting taste of flesh.

Take a bite: lips sugary, wet.
You’re sweet and pink.
And cold.

Ha, I had watermelon with salt today, but I didn't eat it outside. Way too hot.
But this is a pretty cool little piece I gotta say. You're rhyme scheme is kinda all over, but I like it. The stanzas are simple and nice. And now I'm going to go get more watermelon Keep writing.

Hi there!

So, I really enjoyed reading this piece. Watermelon is so delightfully yummy Anyway, I like the punctuation placement. You've put the right emphasis on the right words. One critique: I think you should add another line to your last stanza. I don't know, it could just be my OCD, but I think you should have the same amount of lines in each stanza.

Again, I really liked this piece! Keep writing!
P.S. I've never put salt on watermelon before. Is it good?

Ha, I really liked this. It had a nice charm about it, and the last line was very clever and made for a great end. The imagery was fun, even though this is a serious poem. Everything was clear, yet still very poetic and beautiful.

I really enjoyed this,
Dai

Wow. I likes it a lot. It has a double meaning a lot of the time. Are you talking about a watermelon or about a person? Or both?

That's why I liked this piece. You also had some nice inner rhymes in there, especially heat and bittersweet. That was very nice indeed.
The "seeds" and "holes" was great; not only are there holes in fruit, but also in us humans.

And your final stanza topped it off. The whole stanza had a double meaning. Well done, a perfect finish to a wonderfully light-hearted, yet deep poem.

This poem was really good! I love watermelon, with or without salt. I could see the double meanings in it, and I think that's clever how you fit it in there with the watermelon subject. And also, you should try apple slices with salt. It's surprisingly tasty.

I super like your piece! It makes me crave for watermelons although it's wet season already in the country I find it clever for you to go with watermelon as a subject I can see double meanings in it. Your final stanza topped it all Congrats! It's a perfect finish top a wonderfully light-hearted and meaningful poem (Clap)

Heyaa! I'm Demoness, here's a little inflict on this piece

I must begin to say... ; Aoow, what a sweet poem!
Simple but still Suuuuper!
Love the flow, the imagery! The ending was a bit unsatisfying but yeh,, overall.. GREAT JOB!

Good Luck & Keep Writing

// Demoness

Love the poem, besides watermelon being one of my favorite fruits, the poem was well written very descriptive, and most of all made me want to have a watermelon. The grammar was good as far as I could tell and it made me think of how i normaly eat watermelons. It was short and sweet and i loved it, now I have a sudden urge to have a watermelon.

Haha! I'm not sure if I was supposed to laugh at the end of this poem but it certainly brought the image of a small child into my mind, eager to eat the fruit but having a shock to find out that it's freezing cold!
Looking back over it, I can't help but wonder if it was perhaps directed at describing a person also. Some of the terminology you have used could apply in that situation too. Either way, it was a nice read