Silly Me

sollyplushie!!!! XD hi
I love this poem...don't have any criticism for you XD
nice work!!

I always tell myself that a girl could laugh into the eyes of a boy in love, and feel nothing. I always ask, "What do they feel when they're in love? 'butterflies?'" I never thought there'd ever be such a clear and understanding view of the real deal behind a true girls feelings. Very well put and surprisingly clear for a guy who'd otherwise know nothing but common gobbledygook about a girls feelings. Your work is really deep, don't ever let your talent go to waste!

Cute! Very creative.
Silly me, I'm back here again.
Holding on to something that I want far awaychange to "that remains far away.
And, here I am,
trying to say farewell.
Mending my own thoughts and lying to myself.
Silly me, just look what I've become.
Slave of a feeling,
but sitting on a throne. (Throne of what?)
Powerful while dreaming,
fool when I'm awake.
Meanwhile, life mocks me and makes obvious bets.

Silly me, trying to stop stopping what has grown.
"Wake up! What do you want?"I'm sure I know.
But, I still hide behind my mind and thoughtsBut still, I hide behind my mind and thoughts.
Silly me, like a little girl
Exploring the world.
I'm way lost again.
I stick to my alibis and end up in shame
Because they become null when the boy says, "Hey".
Silly me, tangling up some words,
Just to accept itthat I'm falling in love.

I find great irony, reading this now that I'm on the polar opposite of the scale you were on to have written this. I feel like I'm reading a wish of mine, secretly. Very well don, Sol. You've got quite a good way of expressing yourself

Wow u already have a lot of reply's your famous lol anyways i really like your poem

Powerful while dreaming, fool when I'm awake

Wow amazing line!
That line was really impressive, and completely blew me away.
The part about falling in love totally changed the whole poem.
I was a wonderful way to seal the writing.
Another thing I'd like to point out is how many parts of the poem was crisp and clear.
Just be sure to not make unnecessary additions to some of the sentences!
<3 Peace out!

This poem made me smile!! I normally don't read poems because they're usually boring, but this is why we have YWS so that emerging poets like you can entertain us while leaving a significant message in our hearts It's sooo cute!!

On first reading this poem I feel like there is nothing that needs to be changed at all. There is a really nice feeling to it and I can sense the frankness that you're trying to portray. For me this poem doesn't need any fancy lines or complicated puzzle mixed inside. You've just simply spoken your thoughts and done a great job while at it as well.

If I have to give you one suggestion, it would be to try and add a rhyme to it. The poem has such a good flow to it and with a nice choice words you can make it into a beautiful lyrical poem. However, even without rhyme, your piece is quite convincing. The biggest Plus point of the poem is that it is honest and it shows in the words. I like this a lot.

Oh, and one more thing - XD lol

SO cute so cute so cute so cute so cute . I love this. Have I mentioned I think it's cute? Just making sure....lol anyways, You did great job on this and I just absolutely love reading your work . When you told me you couldn't write, I didn't believe you, but now looking at some of your actual pieces I know you were lying . From someone with such a hispanic background, the fact that you can write in English so fluidly and perfectly, with perfect grammar and exact rhythm is mind boggling to me. I would love to be bilingual, and to be able to write stuff like this in Spanish.....Maybe one day! Great job!! If you ever stop writing I shall be very sad .